I might be all wet on this one...

I have been hearing about cyber bulling. A new concept dreamt up by teenagers to torture those kids they don’t like via the wonderful world of the web. It seems that we as adults try to get control of bullies; likely it is those among us that were victims as kids. As with any attempt to gain control, it will fail. Control is an illusion. It comes down to the concept of power verses force. What we need to teach our children is the idea of power.

I truly feel for the lad that recently committed suicide. The Toronto Sun has his picture on the cover with the headline: “Cyber-bullies drove him to Suicide”. I wonder. I wonder how can someone force me to commit suicide? Is that truly possible? I wonder where this child’s parents were while all this Internet bulling was going on? What action were they taking to stop the “cyber bulling” and what support were they offering their son?

Being an avid Internet user I am mystified by the concept of cyber bulling. Has no one explained to these kids that they can turn the computer off? What about changing Internet chat nic-names and email addresses? What about printing the offending notes and messages and confronting the other child and the parents? What about monitoring your child’s use of the Internet? If your child was doing this over the phone would that go unnoticed as well? I say without a doubt that my parents would have known what I was doing.

I may be simplifying the situation. I just can’t help but wonder how this goes on. I need parents to explain to me how a child can be abused over the Internet to the point that he kills himself. It is so simple to block unwanted email (I get that it only works to a point, however, it is 100% when blocking a known email address or domain) and chat requests. Educate your child on the use of the Internet. Educate yourself for that matter. Are these parents working with their children to help them understand that the person with the serious problem is the abuser not the abused”. I have to believe that the parents of the abused have no clue. That makes me believe that the child’s computer is in their bedroom and the child’s Internet use goes unchecked. I question any parent that feels it’s okay to allow a child to access the net in privacy. It should come as no surprise to you when your child is kidnapped or bullied.

I am laying this all on the parents. It’s time to turn off the TV, shut off the computer and connect with your children. Computers and TV’s have no place in the bedroom. Setting up spam filters and other restrictions on your computer should be the standard. Practice daily open communication about what your children are doing. Take the time to check the computers cache and temporary Internet files. Do not shrug off the responsibility of knowing how to do these things; learn. And if you discover that all those files have been deleted, take that as a sign that your child does not want you to see what they have been doing.
So help me understand how this all works. How it is that some teenage hooligan can get so deep inside your kid’s head that they kill themselves. While your explaining that, please explain how all this happened without your knowledge.