This one's for Rondi

On the heels of writing about not watching TV, I’ve been watching TV! I have been sitting on the couch, remote in hand, channel surfing. I surf because I am bored. I stopped on Oprah, briefly. Who are these chefs? Celebrity Chefs? What are those? Are these people I am suppose to know? I surf on.

I stop on Ellen. Ellen I know. I think one would have to be living under a rock not to know Ellen. However, she has a steady stream of guests that for some reason are worthy of TV airtime. Who is Zach? Why would I want to listen to what he has to say? Do I care that he has a funny hair do? Why would I? I don’t understand. I watched a little while longer because Ellen is funny. But who is Jonas and what has his brother done that he needs to be on TV? Am I supposed to know? I just don’t get it. I have enough trouble keeping track of my own friends and family. How do you people keep track of all these other people? I continue to watch and I must admit I do know who Clint Eastwood is and I would love to see his new movie Gran Torino. If you want to take me, let me know.

Later on in the evening I decided to have another go at it. I thought I would watch something intelligent, although I think that is an oxymoron, television and intelligent. I do discover a segment on CBC News World about lions in Africa. I stop and take in the mini documentary. I learn about Lion Guards and how one organization is attempting to save the lions. Now that was worthy of my time. Then I am slammed with commercials. Those major length advertisements are never ending. So I surf.

I stop on a show about overweight British women. Well, just two in particular. Some “Do Gooder” is helping these women to see the error of their ways. I am not sure why these women agree to examine their poop on international TV, but then I do not understand why anyone watches TV (with the exception of COPS and America’s Most Wanted – anyone want to start Canada’s Most Wanted with me?). Regardless, there they were, poop in a food container, discussing the output and what it might all mean. I would think after eating 26 slices of bread with jam and butter you would not need someone to point out to you what it means.

Despite my disdain for this misused invention I am not going to disconnect. By morning light I will have forgotten about the mystery Zach and the Jonas brother. I will avoid the TV for most of the day as I have some errands to do. I will, however, turn on the TV and briefly join the millions of you using the TV to avoid whatever it is we should be doing in that moment. Then a commercial will come on and I will forget why I am sitting on the couch and I will get up and leave. I will take The Baron out and feel better for it. I will not return to that comfy spot until Saturday night. Like I said the exception is COPS and AMW, which often makes me think of A&W, which in turn, makes me want a burger. Marketing at its finest!