Ideas

What a day. I am now at home sitting at my computer and up to this moment I was wasting some time. I am waiting to leave for the airport; I am picking up a friend that is flying in from Vancouver. I attempted to download Microsoft’s Virtual Earth but for some reason the download failed. So, I cannot mess around online looking at the world from a million different angles. What next?

I was thinking back to some ideas I have had. Some of the ideas are my own some are generated with friends. Ideas are great things and I have been told that I have great ones, however I do not follow through with them. Right, well some of them I don’t want to follow through on.

A while back a friend and I were going to launch a website called, if I recall correctly, 101011. It was going to be about the end of life as we know it. One of those doomsday prophesies. We wanted to see if we could generate a following and at the time I think we came up with some funny ideas for the site. We also want to make money so we were going to sell T-shirts. Everyone wants a doomsday T-shirt. The idea died as we continued on in our routine daily lives.

Today I experience the rebirth (pun intended) of having children. An idea I had when I was 19 and then again an idea yet another friend of mine and I explored. It came up today when my friend whose womb is pulsating (I have an amazing array of awesome friends) told me she was looking into the cost of In Vitro Fertilization. I offered to be the sperm donor. I was and am serious. I think it would be great to have children and I think my biological clock is telling me to get my genes out there; time is ticking for me too! I have some deep notion to keep my Father’s name going, our line. I am not sure where that comes from, having such a basic almost primal desire to keep it alive. It does, however, cross my mind that if I do not I represent an end of sorts. I imagine that line on the family tree coming flowing from my parents to me but not past me, nobody to carry on for me. No immortality for me. I also have this idea that a child, or children, would give me the reason I need to be fully me and to realize all my dreams.

I have lots of other ideas that really do not matter. They cannot matter until they are acted upon. Ideas are really meaningless until someone pulls them together and creates a result. I like I have an idea for a clothing line and an idea for a line of “bling” for dogs. But, who cares? No one. It is after all just an idea. I also have an idea for a novel but it never materializes because I also have the idea that I cannot write, a novel. It occurs to me that Ideas can be wonderful things that create library systems for a continent or destructive things that prevent you from taking the step. How interesting. That actually gives me an idea….