Smoke Free....

I spotted this on Rondi’s blog (wonkitties). I do not think she is joking, although I am not sure. Regardless, I am; however, glad to see that more and more places are going smoke free. I hate smoke. I hate smelling it and choking on it when I am walking down the street. I also hate seeing the “butt’s” in the streets. Why can’t smokers carry little ashtrays? My sister had one, a little ashtray with a lid. Kept all that dirty crap contained. If you are going to insist on smoking on our streets and in our parks then clean up after yourself.

I have heard the argument that all this legislation is against "Smoker’s Rights". Really, since when did smokers have rights? I have heard of this before and I have looked around for these so called rights. I have yet to find any so I figured I would hazard a guess as to what these rights would look like.

Smokers Rights

We, the Smokers, have the right to purchase little cancer causing tobacco sticks in shops that will be on every single corner. We will call these shops Convenience Stores. We will then have the right to light up everywhere we go. We will inhale deeply, as is our right, and then blow our smoke out into the world. We do this regardless of who might inhale this second hand, as this is our right as a Smoker. Further, we have the right to “flick” our cigarette butt’s (as they will come to be known) out of our car windows and off of our balconies. And should some non-smoker get burned we shall not speak of it as this may lead to an infringement of our rights as a Smokers. We will also have the right to oxygen tanks and lung transplant surgery on the dime of our government health insurance (subsidized by the non smokers who do not share in these rights) and we will breathe easy again so we may continue smoking, as is our right. Finally we will have the right to carry on our addictive behavior without being discriminated against and we will use the lobbyists of the large corporations that sell us our drug of choice because we are Smokers and we have rights!

This summer when I am sitting on a patio and some smoker lights up I am going to institute the water spray retaliation plan. In this plan I have a spray bottle of water with me. When the smoker lights up I start to spritz my water. When they ask me to stop, I will ask them to stop. When they tell me they have the “right” to smoke I will tell them I have the “right” to water.