Magenta Mauve Maroon Crows

I watched Maroon 5 last night at the Molson Amphitheatre and was enthralled. They are like a group of kids playing in their basement. The funny thing is when I checked out their site today I learned that they did just that. Of course they did. Playing guitar and experimenting with their sound. Developing into the great players they are today. The 3 of them on stage playing mean guitar it truly was a flashback experience. It felt like the 70’s and I could imagine these guys playing in their parent’s basement on some old orangie brown shag carpet.

The drummer of this group is also an amazing player. Tons of non-stop energy; I wonder if he collapses after the show. My view of the keyboard player was a bit obscured despite the 3rd row centre seats. It could have been because I was so close to the stage that I could not see him way up there. The band is a very well oiled machine with great songs and a great stage presence. I had a great time and as I write this I have Maroon 5 on my stereo, rather loud.

The concert was a double bill that opened with Sara Beralis. I did not catch much of her act but what I did hear was great. Adam from The Counting Crows came on stage and introduced her claming she would be touring on her own very soon. I share his belief; she will be there no doubt.

The reason I missed her (Sara) was we were backstage with the guitar player from The Crows. My friend Rondi is connected and invited me to the show. We went backstage and had a beer and a chat. About 10 minutes before the Crows hit the stage we came out and took our seats.

The Crows are also an amazing band. I enjoyed their set and I now need to hit the HMV or some of the second hand CD stores. I need to get the Crows into my collection.

Whoever came up with the idea of these 3 acts on one stage in one night knows what they are doing. The build up was perfect. Each act generated more energy for the next; they compliment each other perfectly. What a great night of music. I left a bit deaf and no doubt I have lost a portion of my hearing, but what a way to go!

Thank you Rondi for inviting me, I had a great time. Next time the latte’s are on me!

I saw a pig

Yesterday, while walking home from work, I spotted a pig. This pig was in the scoop of a bobcat. As I watched, in a haze of disbelief, I realized I was seeing live what I had heard about from sources like Fast Food Nation and some of my friends. I watched and realized I cannot eat another pig.

As I stood there watching, with my dog, I noticed that there was at least 2 pigs in the scoop. I wondered how they got in there; it would be painful to just be scooped up by one of those machines. I cannot say for sure, however, I thought at least one of the pigs was alive. If it was I am sure it was terrified and in a great deal of pain. It was unnatural the way it was being bounced around. I reasoned that it was actually dead. Which lead me to wonder how it died. Was it on the truck on route to this slaughterhouse? I have learned, what should have been obvious after seeing a few truck loads of pigs, that the trucks are exposed to the elements. No heat in the winter, no cooling in the summer, no food no water....no wonder.

I think it is awful how we treat animals. On the surface I have no problem being a meat eater. I enjoy burgers, chicken and steaks. What makes me sick is seeing how we treat these animals before we kill them. We may be able to explain it away with economic reasons but truly there is no justification for the horrors we subject them too. I am left, as we all are, with a choice. Take the blue pill and all is ok, we return to the numb unknowing state we like to live in. Or take the red pill, take a stand and do something about it.

I hope you all take the red pill. If you need a little more to encourage you I defy you to watch this video and then tell me it’s all ok. Hell, they are just animals. Oh wait, so are we.

If you must eat meat, eat cruelty free meat. Free range grain fed chickens for example.

Fire and Space

I walked on fire, literally; burning hot coals at 2400 degrees. I walked and I focused and I made it across and it transformed a part of me. I was discussing the experience today and I realized that most of life is the figurative of that literal experience. To transform (which is different than change) one must walk the coals and the coals lie in the space between:

The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain…

This is the one side. The side I have been on for many years. It is the side of the space where we, I, cry and laugh and remain to “keep safe from the pain”. What I have learned is that when we step out onto the coals, with help from a soul that knows, we may leave some of what we are behind but we gain.


The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain…


Then there is that other side. And if we are hiding are waiting it is not truly in the space but on the far side. The truth about the space is that we can transverse it with focus commitment dedication and with someone who is willing to scream the truth into our face. Scream it and whisper as we scream and whisper to ourselves. The firefight, the falling rain the wicked lies are all things we do to ourselves in our failed attempts to protect ourselves from the pain.

When I crossed the coals I burned the arch of my right foot. I saw in my mind a flash of bright white light as the coal seared into my flesh. I kept on going. I moved forward and when I stepped into the cool grass on the other side I was awakened. I now know that I can step into that space again and again. I can even be burned and still move forward and reach the other side. Because of that literal experience I now look forward to more spaces.


I am truly grateful to my beautiful friend Barb for whispering into my ear.

The lyrics…Dave Matthews Band…Under the Table and Dreaming

Help I have done it again

I watched the final 9 minutes of the final episode of Six Feet Under on Youtube. I looked it up as I wanted to hear that haunting song again. Breathe Me by Sia. What an incredible show with an incredible ending. It slides into me and draws out so many feelings; loss, anxiety, hope and fear. It makes me still, and, really I find myself sad about life more so than happy. Perhaps it is my age.

“Help I have done it again, I have been here many times before". How I relate to that so clearly. How many times must I do this to myself? Lose track, repeat the same pattern, and make the same mistake. How many times before I will get it and choose a different path. Maybe there is no other path to choose.

“Ouch, I have lost myself again”, yes I do that as well. The upside here is that to know this one must discover oneself again. It is time to get caught up in the grandeur of that discovery instead of getting bogged down in the loss. The loss is, after all, in the past.

Then there is the xylophone, or at least what I believe to be a xylophone. On so many levels those notes speak to me. It plays in my bones and I hear it say “get to it Roy, time is running away from you. Now is the all that is and it’s fleeting.

The images that pass along the way as well, as Sia sings that soulful tune. Their lives play out and I have that sense of passing. Have I done the things I wanted? Will I have a chance tomorrow to say hello or goodbye? Will I have the love I long for?

I stop hearing the words of that song; I get lost in all the other experiences of it. I ride up and down and in the end I am just with the notes. The ending. The fading to white as the crescendo dies and I am left alone, longing. I wonder if I will ever have another face to touch. I wonder if I will ever look into his eyes and know the meaning of everything and nothing.

Late Nights

I am up at 2:40am. I am tired but awake a situation I think I owe to my eldest sister. My phone rang at midnight and it woke me from my rather light sleep, I am guessing it was her calling. I was on the edge anyway, it was not a very good sleep. I had gone to bed without brushing my teeth. I don't usually do that but that's the way it worked out this evening. When the phone woke me up I realized I was having this very odd dream which I cannot explain. It involved a BMW SUV and my "unbrushed" teeth. I got up and brushed them, my teeth, and instead of getting back into bed I came up stairs. I started flipping TV channels, which doesn't take long when you only have basic cable. I now find myself online, surfing and blogging. The picture included here is what got me blogging. I was "googling" (what happened to all the other search engines???) random words. No, not sex or naked or lust words like "taken" which lead me to a documentary by Avi Lewis (I tried to find the link but this time around it did not come up. No big deal really. If you really want some interesting links about Avi check out Rondi's site and click around). Ironic because what got me started was Rondi's blog and an item she had about Avi Lewis. Anyway, I also "googled" "became" and read an interesting story about how Hitler got control of Germany. An interesting comment in the article about how scared populations easily give up their civil liberties. Things that make me go hmmmmmmm. The best thing I stumbled upon was this image, quite by accident when I "googled" "tired" and Google offered up some images. Maybe now I can get some sleep too.

Heart Stroke and Food Lables

I watched an episode of Market Place on the Heart and Stroke foundation's heart healthy logo. Big surprise, the logo is meaningless. It reflects products that may have reduced salt or fat content, however, it does not mean that product is the healthiest choice. Further, it does not rate all foods, only products from companies that are willing to pay for the use of the logo. Although this is a great way for H&S to raise funds, it does not provide meaningful information to consumers.

Two things struck me when I watched the program.

1) Does anyone really believe that anything made by Vachon is healthy? Further, when you pick up a bag of french fries do you think you are making a healthy choice? Tastes great and healthy are not one in the same. Even with a heart logo on a Vachon product I know that I am eating crap. High sugar content and lousy ingredients. It is a cake after all what would I expect?

2) Somewhere along the line the woman that Represented the H&S program lost her believe in said program. She was struggling to support and back it up and under fire she was shot down. Perhaps she did not have the knowledge of the program to answer the questions. It was, however, clear to me that she did not have the passion or the vision to be speaking for the Heart logo.

The rest of the piece discussed other food check systems. I fail to see why we need one. I think we all know that buying frozen dinners and bags of french fries is really not the way to go. If we want to be heart smart and healthy buying fresh line caught salmon and having a salad is the way to do it. I think if we are honest about it the issue would go away. I love junk food, I over eat junk food and that is why I am out of shape. No mystery to me and I do not need a logo or a food check system to figure it out. When I am ready I will buy that salmon and pick up some cucumbers and a couple of tomatoes. I will also hit the gym. I'll cut back on refined sugar and stop buying cookies and food that comes in cans and boxes. I wont rely on H&S or any other marketing machine to show me what is healthy. There are lots of unbiased sources to research to find the truth. Here is one: Dr. Oz's and Dr. Roizen's site There are others as well. If you want to eat well and feed your children a healthy diet pull yourself out of the world of brands and marketing and just get back to the basics.

Pit Bull Ban

The Toronto Star ran a story today about a Pit Bull that escaped the yard of its home. This is what our city Politicians spend our tax dollars on. Killing dogs. What escapes me (and it is not my dog I have a shepherd and they like to stick close) is how anyone thinks banning an animal solves the problem. So once again for those of you that do not get it. it is not the dog, it is the owner. Dog's know exactly how to be dogs. It is us Humans that screw them all up.

Consider this as well. Those that have uncontrollable viscous Pit Bulls are most likely drug dealers (ok a stereo type perhaps but check it out). Why would a ban make any difference to someone that is actively breaking a federal law? The ban makes the situation worse. It drives people to hide their dogs which means the dogs are not socialized properly. Which means the dogs are more of a threat; which is of course not the dog's fault. If we truly want to improve the situation we need to licence dog owners, not the dogs. Before you can buy, own, breed or keep a dog you should have to write an exam on the topic of dogs. Then we can hold you accountable for the behaviour of your dog. It is pretty simple but I hazard a guess that passing a useless ban on an innocent animal gained more votes than doing something intelligent. Humans!

I hope that she wins the case and saves her dog. Not to mention all the other dogs her victory would save.

These two songs...

I love to rock to these two songs. Timbaland is quite something. I have not taken the time to figure out who and what he is, but he brought together some great talent and produced a great album. As for Good Charlotte, I wonder why they do not get much radio play. Every time I tune in I am hearing about tears on my guitar and tattooed hearts. Blah blah blah. Apologize gets a lot of air play too. Being on Timbaland's album I am liking the song but why do we have to hear it every hour on the hour? I would like to start my own radio station. On the Internet so as to avoid all the rules that plague FM radio. I play all kinds of stuff, never a dull moment on radioroy!

Check out:

www.goodcharlotte.com You can play videos that pop up in another window. Play Dance Floor Anthem, loud, really loud. Check out The River as well, it is voted most popular song.

www.timbalandmusic.com Play all of it...

Starbucks my friend

I started going to Starbucks in 2000 when I worked for Roger's. It began by going with a fellow manager. I went with him to get the hell out of the office not to go to Starbucks. Eventually I started asking him and the Barista's about the drink he was ordering. I wanted to know what it tasted like. I tried it, finally, but only after they all assured me there was no coffee in it (I do not like coffee). The drink was a Grande Soy no water no foam Tazo Chai. A little piece of heaven that has grown into a daily addiction.

Once I had tasted it I was hooked. I started going to SB all on my own. I had a new confidence in ordering. I had figured out enough of the secret coffee language to do that. It also served as a way to escape the horrors of work. When one works in an oppressed negative environment the comfy chairs of the local SB are even more inviting. Although I know that SB is a large corporation and for the most part I do not like those beasts either I have failed to find another coffee shop that can make a soy chai latte that equals SB. I have tried Timothy's, Second Cup and Balsac's. The first two use a powder, just awful. Balsac's as I recall used a syrup, as does SB, but it was awful as well. I am left with SB.

I recently spotted this article concerning SB's opening practises. Despite all the hype and complainers it looks like the little green coffee shop makes it for all the others. Although I am sure SB has an evil side I have been able to avoid seeing it. They build schools in poverty stricken coffee countries and make a mean chai latte. What could be wrong with all that?

PS. Check out Rondi's blog which indirectly lead me to the SB article. She has deeper more meaningful blog entries. Worldly issues that impact us all. Every now and then we meet up at SB (sorry Rondi if I am outing you) and we drink lattes and talk about all the humans that have no clue. We never run out of things to say on that topic!

Karlheinz Schreiber

Do tell, what is up with Karlheinz Schreiber? It seems obvious to me that this is a ploy to stay in Canada. Why else would he open up a can worms so far after the fact. I also fail to see why we would spend so much money on this. Does it really matter what Mulroney did oh so many years ago? Is it any different than any other PM? I don’t think we went to all this trouble when Cretien did his dirty deeds. We knew what he was up to and we elected him again!


Karlheinz has admitted to committing a crime; he paid Mulroney for favours. Clearly he will say, or not say, whatever he needs to; satisfying his own agenda is his objective. It started off with 300 hundred thousand now it is 5. He could easily say it was a million. Who cares? Besides isn’t there a statute of limitations on these things? I say let’s kick Schreiber out of the country. Then we can set aside the whole investigation thing and save the money. We could put it some good productive use like building affordable housing or paying down the debt. Alas that would never fly. What would all the Politicians have to do then?

Conrad Black's Reservoir

Here is another example of how we refuse to hold each accountable. Conrad Black’s lawyer is arguing that he should receive no more than 29 months. Why? Because “he is a person with a deep reservoir of kindness” and has suffered enough. Right. Suffered in the palatial home he has been staying in. I wonder if Mr. Black has dipped into that deep reservoir and found the kindness to pay everyone back.

Oh the Poor

Poverty. Why is it my problem? Why do poverty organizations seem to think that rich people are the enemy? I look at it as inspiration. From time to time, I delivery flowers to people that live in very large homes in very wealthy neighbourhoods. Do I resent them? No. I usually end up fantasizing about living in one of those homes. Often it’s not the one I am delivering too. Some of them may be big but when you give lots of money to people with no taste it is disaster on a large scale. That, however, would be fodder for another Blog entry. My fantasy often includes thoughts on what I could do, what business I will be running, when I am living in my giant home. I drive my delivery route sipping my Starbucks Chai latte dreaming. No resentment, just big dreams.

I do not resent “rich” people. I know some that have worked very hard for what they have. I know of some that had it handed to them. So what. If you are poor look in the mirror. What has it got to do with you? What responsibility are you taking for your personal situation? Could the government do more, perhaps, but nothing and no one will help you more than yourself. I have often said to my siblings “what the hell is our problem”? We are intelligent people with some great ideas. Why can’t we create income and live large? The answer, put nicely, is that we choose not to. We get caught up in trying to get through our day and life without getting rear-ended (which of course is bullshit on the re-read we just don’t want to put in the extra effort). All that is true but we also do absolutely nothing about it. So, do I expect others to carry me? Sometimes yeah I do, what the hell. Most of the time I don’t and most of the time I know that it comes down to me. So, I fail to see how it is productive to “march on Queen’s park” when they have a BBQ.

I believe in personal accountability. I hate that I do because it is truly inconvenient when I want to just lie around and still have a nice warm bed (which is caving in and getting uncomfortable – do I whine about the price of mattress’s or get out of it earlier and make more money?). The irony here is that it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with taking action in life and going after what you want. You do not need money for that. If you are able bodied and mentally stable then get on with it. Even if you are not able bodied you can still get on with it. I know that from seeing living examples.

I have no issue with anyone taking up a cause. Raising money for this or that, I do it myself. I have no issue with anyone taking up the cause of the poor. What I have an issue with is handing anyone free money (but please do let that stop you from buying me gift certificates or dinner). Welfare or Workfare whatever it is now is just that. Free money. It is unhealthy and creates dependence. What we need is personal accountability and a system that promotes and rewards education and personal development.

Anyone want to help me start Education Financing For Everyone? It is a little project of mine that I have not gotten off the ground, yet.

Re: The all wet post...

I wrote that post before reading the article. How devastating for the family. I do feel for them and more so for Shaquille. Just when we thought we had come so far with equality, our children reminds us we have more work to do.

I also noted the comment that the Step Mother stated that she is computer illiterate. Further, she had no idea about the online abuse until Oct. 27. 7 days after his death. Is it cruel to point that out? Like understanding how to feed and nurture a child is the responsibility of the parent so is how to keep them safe. Any parent that purchases or allows a computer in their home and takes no action to protect their child needs to heed the warnings of this incident. One does not need to be computer savvy to hire someone who is.

I might be all wet on this one...

I have been hearing about cyber bulling. A new concept dreamt up by teenagers to torture those kids they don’t like via the wonderful world of the web. It seems that we as adults try to get control of bullies; likely it is those among us that were victims as kids. As with any attempt to gain control, it will fail. Control is an illusion. It comes down to the concept of power verses force. What we need to teach our children is the idea of power.

I truly feel for the lad that recently committed suicide. The Toronto Sun has his picture on the cover with the headline: “Cyber-bullies drove him to Suicide”. I wonder. I wonder how can someone force me to commit suicide? Is that truly possible? I wonder where this child’s parents were while all this Internet bulling was going on? What action were they taking to stop the “cyber bulling” and what support were they offering their son?

Being an avid Internet user I am mystified by the concept of cyber bulling. Has no one explained to these kids that they can turn the computer off? What about changing Internet chat nic-names and email addresses? What about printing the offending notes and messages and confronting the other child and the parents? What about monitoring your child’s use of the Internet? If your child was doing this over the phone would that go unnoticed as well? I say without a doubt that my parents would have known what I was doing.

I may be simplifying the situation. I just can’t help but wonder how this goes on. I need parents to explain to me how a child can be abused over the Internet to the point that he kills himself. It is so simple to block unwanted email (I get that it only works to a point, however, it is 100% when blocking a known email address or domain) and chat requests. Educate your child on the use of the Internet. Educate yourself for that matter. Are these parents working with their children to help them understand that the person with the serious problem is the abuser not the abused”. I have to believe that the parents of the abused have no clue. That makes me believe that the child’s computer is in their bedroom and the child’s Internet use goes unchecked. I question any parent that feels it’s okay to allow a child to access the net in privacy. It should come as no surprise to you when your child is kidnapped or bullied.

I am laying this all on the parents. It’s time to turn off the TV, shut off the computer and connect with your children. Computers and TV’s have no place in the bedroom. Setting up spam filters and other restrictions on your computer should be the standard. Practice daily open communication about what your children are doing. Take the time to check the computers cache and temporary Internet files. Do not shrug off the responsibility of knowing how to do these things; learn. And if you discover that all those files have been deleted, take that as a sign that your child does not want you to see what they have been doing.
So help me understand how this all works. How it is that some teenage hooligan can get so deep inside your kid’s head that they kill themselves. While your explaining that, please explain how all this happened without your knowledge.

The Deed is done

Yet I have a repreive! I called and disconnected my service. However, Rogers needs to send someone here to my home to disconnect the second outlet. Fine with me. That will happen on April 17, 2007. So, I have the PVR and cable until then. I will do nothing but watch TV from not until then.....

Experimentation - Step 1

I am going for it. Why not? I am going to take the plunge and see what happens. I am going to return my PVR and cancel my digital cable. Oh the stress! I am doing this for two, maybe three, reasons.

1. I cannot afford the service.
2. I eat while I watch TV and that habit has put about 20 pounds of fat onto my body.
3. I want to fill my time with other activities and I am curious about how I will deal with
the change.

The thoughts that are telling me not to do this are many. Things like, what if you get sick? You will want to lie on the couch and watch TV, you wont be able too. When you sit down for dinner what are you going to do? What if you don’t do anything, what if you just end up staring at a dark TV set? I know, start buying DVDs and just watch those. Phew, that was a close one.

I might just end up watching DVDs. I have done that in the past. I suppose that’s not all bad. I could catch up on all the movies I have not seen. I could watch films instead of movies (Rosemary can explain the difference for those that require it) and perhaps gain some culture and new topics to discuss. That would be interesting. I could, just sit, and be still and face my demons.

Regardless, the experiment begins today. I am going to post this on my blog and then contact Rogers. They will try to get me to keep the PVR and stay hooked. I will be strong and will resist their attempts to keep me hooked up. I will insist on returning their device of evil and I will, I will do it! Then I will come home and think oh my lord what have I done!!!!

Things I Notice

There is a difference between what we say and what we do. I suppose that is an obvious statement. Here is another one, a statement, that is not perhaps as obvious. I know that there is a difference between what we say is acceptable and what actually is acceptable. Example, I know that it is illegal to leave your dog’s poop on the ground. We are suppose to “stoop and scoop”. I also know, however, that it is acceptable not too. How do I know this? Well, look around next time you are outside. There is dog poop everywhere! No one seems to stoop and scoop in the winter. Some how it is acceptable to leave your dog’s poop wherever it happens fall.

Another example. Apparently if you suffer from any kind of addiction you have a built in escape clause. You can live your life absuing and doing whatever you want. Treating people lile crap, flaunting the rules, whatever.. You can do all this because when you finally get caught you can stand up and blame your addiction. That's right, I am drug addicted and now I see the error of my ways. More like you're sorry you got caught and now you'll use whatever is at your disposal to be let off the hook. How nice that must be for those people out there that choose to abuse pills and alcohol. Just do whatever you want, no worries, when the time comes to face the piper you'll be off the hook. I wonder if my chocolate addiction and some times sex addiction will do the same for me? I wonder, but not all that much as I some how know it wont.

Let’s see what else. How about the street person, that is as I type, lying in the doorway of the office building across the street. He is smoking something and will no doubt leave behind a mess and if we are all really lucky he will pee in the doorway as well (the guy is gone now and he didn’t pee and there is no mess). I know this is ok because it happens all the time and we all just walk on by. I wonder what would happen if I decided to pee in the doorway and throw my garbage there. I have a suspicion that I would be held accountable for my actions. I would be because I have a home and no real addictions to speak of. Why do we have this double standard? If it is okay for him to pee there it’s okay for me.

To continue, what’s with those among us that think it’s okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs? You know the ones, they are walking down the street and they are screaming and yelling “f” this and “f” that. It’s not always street people either. I figure we could have maintained our standards and kept this as one of those things that is not acceptable. I know, however, that it is because not one of us ever says anything. It’s like littering, that’s acceptable as well.

I could go on and on here. Grid locking, that’s more than acceptable, just hang out at any downtown intersection at rush hour. But the one that beats all others, the really big one that we have embraced so deeply. Enabling. Yes, it is totally acceptable to enable all those around us that are dependent or abusive. I think the enablers are worse than the abusers. Without the enablers I think we would have far less “victims” and addicts walking our streets. Keep that in mind the next time you make an excuse for someone.

On the other hand, knowing all this makes it a bit easier to live. Think about it. I can pee wherever I choose and I can toss my litter on the ground. It’s great to know that I do not have to concern myself with picking up after my dog. If everyone else can leave the poop so can I. I am also relieved that I can do drugs at the bottom of the stairwell of the office building next door and I can yell curse words at passers by. I can also have a crap in the park after I have had sex with some random person and then have a bath in the fountain. I can also enable my friends and family, how superior does that makes me feel. The only problem I have is that if I ever get caught and forced to face my behavior I have no addiction to fall back on to save my sorry ass.

Small View Large View

The other day I was driving around town delivering flowers (which is fun but can be stressful when the arrangement falls over in the back of the van) and I noticed a large billboard at Bathurst and Eglinton. In very large letters it called out “Never Forget, Never Again”. It is an ad for the UJA’s Holocaust Centre. I drove by thinking; of course never forget never again. Wait a minute hasn’t it already happened again?

I’d rather we were not at war with anyone ever. However, I do not think I am that naïve or idealistic to think that war is totally avoidable. I do believe that we should be very careful about whom we launch bombs onto. We argue up and down about Iraq. What scares me is that we all stand by while genocide lives and thrives. Not to mention truly oppressive governments that deprive their populations of life’s basic requirements. Anyone considered Korea?

Although I understand the message of the UJA’s sign I think they may want to think a little bit bigger picture. I’d say that the message is a bit self-centred. I would like to think that organizations like the UJA would be the first to scream from the rooftops when it happens again. I am all for remembering and for education. We need to work at not repeating our history. I just think we all need to start thinking about everyone. We are not groups; we are all in this together. If you are going to focus on your own group, fine. Let’s just be honest and upfront about it. Perhaps the sign should read “Never Forget about Us, Never Again to Us.

My two cents.

Purging...

Ok, this idea of purging is great in theory. I, however, am having a difficult time with it in reality. I am going through my tools. You would think this would be easier. You either need that screwdriver or you don’t. But I am making it more than that. It is very overwhelming. I would rather come Blog about it then actually do it!

I have 5 sets of little drawers that my Father used to sort all his screws and needles, files, Dremel tool heads and so on. What in the world do I do with all this stuff??? I think part of it is that I do not want to throw it out. He had all this stuff to make little wooden animals. He used them with the kids. I don’t think the kids would be into having them. The kids are not really kids anymore (well Keenan is but I doubt he wants to sit down and make little creatures from pieces of wood). Maybe Lisa’s kids would want them, who knows? I can ask.

Even that does not help. I still have all this stuff in my apartment. I need to get it out of here. Is it valuable? Am I tossing out something that would go for a million bucks on the Antiques Road show? Damn that Roadshow! That’s the problem. That darn show has made it impossible for me to toss out old plastic drinking cups that look like Starwars characters. I should sue them or maybe just ask them to come over and assess all my belongings. I can tell them that they have caused this “attachment disorder” that I am suffering from and they owe it to me to help me out. I wonder if they would come over? They can tape it and use it on their show. Or maybe turn it into some odd reality show about people that keep things like old plastic Disney characters (those I tossed into the Goodwill bin but I am having second thoughts about it).

What about my unopened figurine of TNG’s Counselor Deanna Troi? I love Deanna how could I ever toss her out? I am keeping her and no one can stop me! Back away from the Deanna figurine! I am going to hide her now. I will take her out when it’s cold and dark and I am lonely. I will talk to her about all my problems and she will whisper sweetly into my ear. The thought of that sends shivers down my body. Maybe she will stroke my face like she does when she is talking to Riker (maybe I should get a figurine of Riker). She will I know she will! I am getting all hard just thinking about it. Have you seen Deanna? Oh my, she is quite something (do straight guys say things like that??). Sort of like Seven of Nine, do they really make girls like that? Anyway, back to Deanna and her soft sweet sultry whispering voice. I will be soothed and comforted and I will sleep like a baby with my Deanna wrapped in my arms. Oh Deanna….

Clearly there is a larger issue here; I shudder to think what my therapist would have to say about that last paragraph. There is an upside, however. I have decided to get rid of the apartment size dryer I have. I have never used it (thank you Nesha for giving it to me). It is taking up a rather large part of the storage space in one of my six closets (thank you Mike M for driving to Mississauga and loading it into your Van with me). When we went to get it Mike made the comment “oh so you just got me to go get a dryer that you are never going to use”. His insight was based on the fact that my apartment does not have a vent for a dryer and the board would not approve one. I had faith however, and figured I would work something out. I even got a stand for it via free to reuse – it’s a yahoo group- but it did not fit. I think that is the writing on the wall. It’s going now. To someone who might just use it.

Okay, I need to go pick up all the screws and electrical tape that is all over the floor in the entryway. Poor Oscar, God love him he is so tolerant. So is Jet for that matter. Oh, I went and got Deanna. She is safe now with me. No one can take her from me. I dare you to try!

How much longer?

Man, I just checked the Zodiac predictions page on Sympatico. I have to wait until May? Geez...