In 15 Minutes a Day

I am posting this unedited...just becasue I want too. Enjoy it.

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I am supposed to write for 15 minutes each day and I find myself putting it off. This is the first attempt at writing for 15 minutes. I actually need to write for one full hour to make up for the fact that I have not written anything in the past 3 days. When this challenge was put before me I accepted it. Of course I work at avoiding the actually doing of it. When I sat down today I was going to continue working on a piece I started last week. It took me some fancy computer work to actually find the document. When I did discover it I re-read it and now I am not really all the inspired to continue with it. That does not surprise me. It is the way I go with writing. I want the outcome, a great article or novel, but I avoid the work involved in creating it.

I have considered writing short stories, articles, harlequins and, of course, the great Canadian novel. To date I have not done any of that. I do have a Blog and I, from time to time, write things for that. I am not consistent and that makes for a boring lean Blog. Regardless, I think a lot of writing. I often have, what I think, are excellent stories in my head. I develop them while I walk my dog or while I am walking to work. I rarely write because I can avoid that. I surf the Internet. I eat, I watch TV I go for a walk or someone calls and saves me from the agony of sitting down and banging away on my computer keyboard.

Sometimes I write crazy e-mails to my friends. I go on and on and find that easy to do. Once I am in the groove I can come up with something that, based on the feedback, is pretty damn good. Many of my friends think I should be writing. But what would I write about? I mean who the hell wants to read this? I try to come up with ideas for articles, but who would want to buy an article from me? I have nothing really to offer in that regard. There are far better writers than I. I also struggle with my inner ambivalence. That feeling that says so clearly, who gives a shit? Why bother what the hell is the point? That can take the wind out of my sail long before my ship is moving. So, I do not act on the idea of writing.

Why do I want to write? I am not sure. I can only say that I have always wanted to be a writer, to make money for putting words onto paper. I want to be creative and allow that inner energy I have to flow out of me. I love creative pursuits, writing, painting or art of some kind and music. I have a piano, well a Yamaha keyboard and a saxophone. I do not touch either of them. They sit and collect dust while I live the fantasy. That is what this writing for 15 minutes a day is born from. The idea that if I do it I can move from living the fantasy to acting on the desire and actually creating something. I suppose if I act on my desires I would move from being ambivalent and often depressed to being alive and happy. Action is a powerful thing.

I was just struck, for some reason, with the thought of the gym. There is another thing that I actively avoid. For a time, albeit a brief time, I went to the gym at least 4 times a week. I held that for 8 months and I felt great. I was getting results and had tons of energy. I feel off the gym wagon when I took a trip to Halifax. I went away and never went back to the gym. I often wonder why. I was so committed to it; I scheduled my life around it. I am told that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. That may be true but apparently it takes only a day to lose it. Well, maybe it takes a trip away to lose it.
Well, there is the first 15-minute segment taken care of. It is now 4:17 and I just did a little sidebar to surf the net. I need to stay focused until 5pm and then I can move onto something else, maybe the saxophone. I often think I want an active full life but I must not truly want that. I spend a great deal of time sitting around thinking about what I would like to be doing. In some cases I am truly stuck, unsure. I would love to go to Africa or a place like that and help. Either help the people or the animals, probably the animals. Work with some organization that helps protect the dying wild life. Or, work with people in some far off part of the world that need help building schools or learning English of something. I do not feel qualified to help.

I was talking the other day about my fantasy list. This is the list of things that I would love to do but never act on. Like writing. Some of the items on my list I avoid out of fear. Some unknown thing that might happen if I pursue it. Like if I take off to Africa, how and what would I eat? I am very particular about my food. It is easy to list the things I like than the many things I do not like. Of course, I could eat it is an excuse or like I said a fear. Fear is irrational and is something that prevents us from moving forward. Having said that I grant you that it can also save our lives. We have the fear response for a reason. I suppose the trick is to figure out when it is deceiving us and when it is not.

It just occurred to me that I am a true Gemini. On the outside I am so easy going, carefree and full of good humour. As I become aware of what I am writing I realize how serious and uptight I am on the inside. I rarely pursuer what matters to me, what I think is important. I paint my self into corners all the time and then do trivial things to meet the basics of life. I have never planned out anything in my life so is it any wonder that I have never realized my plans! Okay, well moving right along lets take a look at that list:

1. Work in a developing country with the people and animals to help them have a better life.
2. Practise and develop my musical ability.
3. Write.
4. Be a life coach.
5. Be creative everyday, paint, draw etc.
6. Travel the world and experience different cultures and meet new people.

There is the list. I doubt that list is complete and it is not in any particular order. I do wonder how I can work on, say number 2, while living number 1. I do not image that I could develop my musical talent while living in some developing country and helping people that are sick or escaping war. It would be great to help children. So many are abused and forgotten, such lofty ideals I have.

Segment 2 complete, 30 minutes to go. I just thought about the conversations I was having with a friend or two about pursing your personal strengths. This is the great idea that we need not focus on our weakness. Our weaknesses are irrelevant. If you are not good at organizing then don’t get a job doing it. And if your Boss is harping on the state of your desk help him to focus on your results. Maybe you sell the most widgets and he is always telling you need to clean up. Tell him it’s not your strength and if he really wants your office all tidy he should first consider your results. If your Boss cannot drop the trivial and focus on your results than take your skills elsewhere. Okay, that is not really a good example of what I am talking about here. The idea is just that you would focus on what you are good at and run with that. Employers always ask what your weaknesses are. The answer really is, well future employer no need to worry about what my weaknesses might be, I am great at selling widgets, that’s what you need and that is what I will do. So, if I am not a great singer or not particularly good at picking decorator colours what difference does it make? I am sure you get the idea.

I love the idea of being results oriented. Author Timothy Ferris takes that to new heights. Results oriented means that I evaluate my performance based on results. It means shifting our focus away from how many hours you spend at the office or doing whatever it is you are doing. The person that puts in the most hours is often the one with the least results. So, if you can sell tons of widgets and still get in a golf game what difference does that make to the employer? Well, it should not make any difference. If you were making me a million bucks a year but you are able to do it in half the time the rest of the group does it, then go play golf. I can hear the objections from all of you caught up in the status quo paradigm but I am getting sore typing about this and I am not going to further discuss the idea. Just get results focused and see what happens.

Wow, it is now 4:41 and I am 4 minutes away from completing segment 3. And 19, not 18 minutes away from completing segment 4. Clearly I do not need any particular idea to bang off some writing. I can just bang off the random thoughts in my head and fill up a few pages. This is like going to the gym or practising. If you just go its done and time has past but you have something to show for it. Then when you head out one night for some fun, you see the results. Or you hit the stage and again you see the results. So what results are you getting life?

I am briefly stumped. I have no idea what to write next. I feel like this topic, as most of my topics are, dry and old. I do not want to go on and on about the same old same old. I am, however, going to post this on my Blog. I will then post the other 15-minute writings that occur this week. The review day for this challenge is Thursday. I am not sure what will come of all this so we will see. I wonder if each entry will just be some not so exciting insight into my inner self-talk. I am working on a story, which, I think I mentioned. Maybe I can wear myself out with me own blah blah blah stuff and then move onto…wait a minute here is a topic, burgers!

There is a new burger joint which is about to open up on Temperance Street. It is called Original Motorcycle. I am not sure what the connection is to burgers but the menu offers steak burgers. Sides include fries, sweet potatoes fries and onion rings. If you get a combo it is $13.95. I gleaned that today by reading the menu through the locked front doors. I hope it opens up soon because I enjoy getting a good burger on Saturday night and then watching COPS while I eat. Fun times.

Another great thing in the area is that a new Starbucks is opening. We need that for sure. There are only 9 that I can think of within a short walk from where I live. A nice balanced 10 is far better. This new location is one block from my place. It is looking like a great location with a fabulous outdoor patio. This summer is going to be a good year for sitting at Starbucks! I hope it is a good year for Starbucks overall. I have some stock and it has dropped from 35 bucks to 9 bucks. I have no intention of selling them, but I would rather the 35 buck share price than the 9 dollar share price. Given time I am sure they will bounce back. I really have no idea if they will bounce back we are talking about 5 dollar coffee and how long can that last?

Which brings me to Tim Horton’s. I wet into the Tim’s at Spadina and Bloor, what a mess. The customers in that place looked like they had fallen into the street rolled around and then dragged themselves in for a coffee. There were one or two exceptions, but the snob in me rushed out hoping never to have to go back there. I might have to scrounge change to buy a bagel but I still shower. That is an entirely new line of fodder and this novel is coming to a close. Maybe next time I will write about my inner snob. He is there and very much alive. I like him because without him I truly would have no standards!

The time is fast approaching 5pm. I can say that I sat here and wrote. I can say that I made up the time for the past 3 days and put in my time today. I can plan to do this tomorrow because I realize that 15 minutes of writing is really not that tiresome at all. It is rather easy. I have written 2341 words. That count does not include the word “words”. According to Stephen King and his book On Writing one great way to get into writing it so write at least 1000 words per day. I have accomplished both of those goals today, 15 minutes and 1000 words. I do think that doing it everyday makes a difference. I am going to work at not accumulating the time and then banging it off in one sitting. Writing everyday is about making it part of what I do so I can develop the skill and maybe sell some work. How great would that be