Late Nights

I am up at 2:40am. I am tired but awake a situation I think I owe to my eldest sister. My phone rang at midnight and it woke me from my rather light sleep, I am guessing it was her calling. I was on the edge anyway, it was not a very good sleep. I had gone to bed without brushing my teeth. I don't usually do that but that's the way it worked out this evening. When the phone woke me up I realized I was having this very odd dream which I cannot explain. It involved a BMW SUV and my "unbrushed" teeth. I got up and brushed them, my teeth, and instead of getting back into bed I came up stairs. I started flipping TV channels, which doesn't take long when you only have basic cable. I now find myself online, surfing and blogging. The picture included here is what got me blogging. I was "googling" (what happened to all the other search engines???) random words. No, not sex or naked or lust words like "taken" which lead me to a documentary by Avi Lewis (I tried to find the link but this time around it did not come up. No big deal really. If you really want some interesting links about Avi check out Rondi's site and click around). Ironic because what got me started was Rondi's blog and an item she had about Avi Lewis. Anyway, I also "googled" "became" and read an interesting story about how Hitler got control of Germany. An interesting comment in the article about how scared populations easily give up their civil liberties. Things that make me go hmmmmmmm. The best thing I stumbled upon was this image, quite by accident when I "googled" "tired" and Google offered up some images. Maybe now I can get some sleep too.

Heart Stroke and Food Lables

I watched an episode of Market Place on the Heart and Stroke foundation's heart healthy logo. Big surprise, the logo is meaningless. It reflects products that may have reduced salt or fat content, however, it does not mean that product is the healthiest choice. Further, it does not rate all foods, only products from companies that are willing to pay for the use of the logo. Although this is a great way for H&S to raise funds, it does not provide meaningful information to consumers.

Two things struck me when I watched the program.

1) Does anyone really believe that anything made by Vachon is healthy? Further, when you pick up a bag of french fries do you think you are making a healthy choice? Tastes great and healthy are not one in the same. Even with a heart logo on a Vachon product I know that I am eating crap. High sugar content and lousy ingredients. It is a cake after all what would I expect?

2) Somewhere along the line the woman that Represented the H&S program lost her believe in said program. She was struggling to support and back it up and under fire she was shot down. Perhaps she did not have the knowledge of the program to answer the questions. It was, however, clear to me that she did not have the passion or the vision to be speaking for the Heart logo.

The rest of the piece discussed other food check systems. I fail to see why we need one. I think we all know that buying frozen dinners and bags of french fries is really not the way to go. If we want to be heart smart and healthy buying fresh line caught salmon and having a salad is the way to do it. I think if we are honest about it the issue would go away. I love junk food, I over eat junk food and that is why I am out of shape. No mystery to me and I do not need a logo or a food check system to figure it out. When I am ready I will buy that salmon and pick up some cucumbers and a couple of tomatoes. I will also hit the gym. I'll cut back on refined sugar and stop buying cookies and food that comes in cans and boxes. I wont rely on H&S or any other marketing machine to show me what is healthy. There are lots of unbiased sources to research to find the truth. Here is one: Dr. Oz's and Dr. Roizen's site There are others as well. If you want to eat well and feed your children a healthy diet pull yourself out of the world of brands and marketing and just get back to the basics.

Pit Bull Ban

The Toronto Star ran a story today about a Pit Bull that escaped the yard of its home. This is what our city Politicians spend our tax dollars on. Killing dogs. What escapes me (and it is not my dog I have a shepherd and they like to stick close) is how anyone thinks banning an animal solves the problem. So once again for those of you that do not get it. it is not the dog, it is the owner. Dog's know exactly how to be dogs. It is us Humans that screw them all up.

Consider this as well. Those that have uncontrollable viscous Pit Bulls are most likely drug dealers (ok a stereo type perhaps but check it out). Why would a ban make any difference to someone that is actively breaking a federal law? The ban makes the situation worse. It drives people to hide their dogs which means the dogs are not socialized properly. Which means the dogs are more of a threat; which is of course not the dog's fault. If we truly want to improve the situation we need to licence dog owners, not the dogs. Before you can buy, own, breed or keep a dog you should have to write an exam on the topic of dogs. Then we can hold you accountable for the behaviour of your dog. It is pretty simple but I hazard a guess that passing a useless ban on an innocent animal gained more votes than doing something intelligent. Humans!

I hope that she wins the case and saves her dog. Not to mention all the other dogs her victory would save.

These two songs...

I love to rock to these two songs. Timbaland is quite something. I have not taken the time to figure out who and what he is, but he brought together some great talent and produced a great album. As for Good Charlotte, I wonder why they do not get much radio play. Every time I tune in I am hearing about tears on my guitar and tattooed hearts. Blah blah blah. Apologize gets a lot of air play too. Being on Timbaland's album I am liking the song but why do we have to hear it every hour on the hour? I would like to start my own radio station. On the Internet so as to avoid all the rules that plague FM radio. I play all kinds of stuff, never a dull moment on radioroy!

Check out:

www.goodcharlotte.com You can play videos that pop up in another window. Play Dance Floor Anthem, loud, really loud. Check out The River as well, it is voted most popular song.

www.timbalandmusic.com Play all of it...

Starbucks my friend

I started going to Starbucks in 2000 when I worked for Roger's. It began by going with a fellow manager. I went with him to get the hell out of the office not to go to Starbucks. Eventually I started asking him and the Barista's about the drink he was ordering. I wanted to know what it tasted like. I tried it, finally, but only after they all assured me there was no coffee in it (I do not like coffee). The drink was a Grande Soy no water no foam Tazo Chai. A little piece of heaven that has grown into a daily addiction.

Once I had tasted it I was hooked. I started going to SB all on my own. I had a new confidence in ordering. I had figured out enough of the secret coffee language to do that. It also served as a way to escape the horrors of work. When one works in an oppressed negative environment the comfy chairs of the local SB are even more inviting. Although I know that SB is a large corporation and for the most part I do not like those beasts either I have failed to find another coffee shop that can make a soy chai latte that equals SB. I have tried Timothy's, Second Cup and Balsac's. The first two use a powder, just awful. Balsac's as I recall used a syrup, as does SB, but it was awful as well. I am left with SB.

I recently spotted this article concerning SB's opening practises. Despite all the hype and complainers it looks like the little green coffee shop makes it for all the others. Although I am sure SB has an evil side I have been able to avoid seeing it. They build schools in poverty stricken coffee countries and make a mean chai latte. What could be wrong with all that?

PS. Check out Rondi's blog which indirectly lead me to the SB article. She has deeper more meaningful blog entries. Worldly issues that impact us all. Every now and then we meet up at SB (sorry Rondi if I am outing you) and we drink lattes and talk about all the humans that have no clue. We never run out of things to say on that topic!

Karlheinz Schreiber

Do tell, what is up with Karlheinz Schreiber? It seems obvious to me that this is a ploy to stay in Canada. Why else would he open up a can worms so far after the fact. I also fail to see why we would spend so much money on this. Does it really matter what Mulroney did oh so many years ago? Is it any different than any other PM? I don’t think we went to all this trouble when Cretien did his dirty deeds. We knew what he was up to and we elected him again!


Karlheinz has admitted to committing a crime; he paid Mulroney for favours. Clearly he will say, or not say, whatever he needs to; satisfying his own agenda is his objective. It started off with 300 hundred thousand now it is 5. He could easily say it was a million. Who cares? Besides isn’t there a statute of limitations on these things? I say let’s kick Schreiber out of the country. Then we can set aside the whole investigation thing and save the money. We could put it some good productive use like building affordable housing or paying down the debt. Alas that would never fly. What would all the Politicians have to do then?

Conrad Black's Reservoir

Here is another example of how we refuse to hold each accountable. Conrad Black’s lawyer is arguing that he should receive no more than 29 months. Why? Because “he is a person with a deep reservoir of kindness” and has suffered enough. Right. Suffered in the palatial home he has been staying in. I wonder if Mr. Black has dipped into that deep reservoir and found the kindness to pay everyone back.

Oh the Poor

Poverty. Why is it my problem? Why do poverty organizations seem to think that rich people are the enemy? I look at it as inspiration. From time to time, I delivery flowers to people that live in very large homes in very wealthy neighbourhoods. Do I resent them? No. I usually end up fantasizing about living in one of those homes. Often it’s not the one I am delivering too. Some of them may be big but when you give lots of money to people with no taste it is disaster on a large scale. That, however, would be fodder for another Blog entry. My fantasy often includes thoughts on what I could do, what business I will be running, when I am living in my giant home. I drive my delivery route sipping my Starbucks Chai latte dreaming. No resentment, just big dreams.

I do not resent “rich” people. I know some that have worked very hard for what they have. I know of some that had it handed to them. So what. If you are poor look in the mirror. What has it got to do with you? What responsibility are you taking for your personal situation? Could the government do more, perhaps, but nothing and no one will help you more than yourself. I have often said to my siblings “what the hell is our problem”? We are intelligent people with some great ideas. Why can’t we create income and live large? The answer, put nicely, is that we choose not to. We get caught up in trying to get through our day and life without getting rear-ended (which of course is bullshit on the re-read we just don’t want to put in the extra effort). All that is true but we also do absolutely nothing about it. So, do I expect others to carry me? Sometimes yeah I do, what the hell. Most of the time I don’t and most of the time I know that it comes down to me. So, I fail to see how it is productive to “march on Queen’s park” when they have a BBQ.

I believe in personal accountability. I hate that I do because it is truly inconvenient when I want to just lie around and still have a nice warm bed (which is caving in and getting uncomfortable – do I whine about the price of mattress’s or get out of it earlier and make more money?). The irony here is that it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with taking action in life and going after what you want. You do not need money for that. If you are able bodied and mentally stable then get on with it. Even if you are not able bodied you can still get on with it. I know that from seeing living examples.

I have no issue with anyone taking up a cause. Raising money for this or that, I do it myself. I have no issue with anyone taking up the cause of the poor. What I have an issue with is handing anyone free money (but please do let that stop you from buying me gift certificates or dinner). Welfare or Workfare whatever it is now is just that. Free money. It is unhealthy and creates dependence. What we need is personal accountability and a system that promotes and rewards education and personal development.

Anyone want to help me start Education Financing For Everyone? It is a little project of mine that I have not gotten off the ground, yet.

Re: The all wet post...

I wrote that post before reading the article. How devastating for the family. I do feel for them and more so for Shaquille. Just when we thought we had come so far with equality, our children reminds us we have more work to do.

I also noted the comment that the Step Mother stated that she is computer illiterate. Further, she had no idea about the online abuse until Oct. 27. 7 days after his death. Is it cruel to point that out? Like understanding how to feed and nurture a child is the responsibility of the parent so is how to keep them safe. Any parent that purchases or allows a computer in their home and takes no action to protect their child needs to heed the warnings of this incident. One does not need to be computer savvy to hire someone who is.

I might be all wet on this one...

I have been hearing about cyber bulling. A new concept dreamt up by teenagers to torture those kids they don’t like via the wonderful world of the web. It seems that we as adults try to get control of bullies; likely it is those among us that were victims as kids. As with any attempt to gain control, it will fail. Control is an illusion. It comes down to the concept of power verses force. What we need to teach our children is the idea of power.

I truly feel for the lad that recently committed suicide. The Toronto Sun has his picture on the cover with the headline: “Cyber-bullies drove him to Suicide”. I wonder. I wonder how can someone force me to commit suicide? Is that truly possible? I wonder where this child’s parents were while all this Internet bulling was going on? What action were they taking to stop the “cyber bulling” and what support were they offering their son?

Being an avid Internet user I am mystified by the concept of cyber bulling. Has no one explained to these kids that they can turn the computer off? What about changing Internet chat nic-names and email addresses? What about printing the offending notes and messages and confronting the other child and the parents? What about monitoring your child’s use of the Internet? If your child was doing this over the phone would that go unnoticed as well? I say without a doubt that my parents would have known what I was doing.

I may be simplifying the situation. I just can’t help but wonder how this goes on. I need parents to explain to me how a child can be abused over the Internet to the point that he kills himself. It is so simple to block unwanted email (I get that it only works to a point, however, it is 100% when blocking a known email address or domain) and chat requests. Educate your child on the use of the Internet. Educate yourself for that matter. Are these parents working with their children to help them understand that the person with the serious problem is the abuser not the abused”. I have to believe that the parents of the abused have no clue. That makes me believe that the child’s computer is in their bedroom and the child’s Internet use goes unchecked. I question any parent that feels it’s okay to allow a child to access the net in privacy. It should come as no surprise to you when your child is kidnapped or bullied.

I am laying this all on the parents. It’s time to turn off the TV, shut off the computer and connect with your children. Computers and TV’s have no place in the bedroom. Setting up spam filters and other restrictions on your computer should be the standard. Practice daily open communication about what your children are doing. Take the time to check the computers cache and temporary Internet files. Do not shrug off the responsibility of knowing how to do these things; learn. And if you discover that all those files have been deleted, take that as a sign that your child does not want you to see what they have been doing.
So help me understand how this all works. How it is that some teenage hooligan can get so deep inside your kid’s head that they kill themselves. While your explaining that, please explain how all this happened without your knowledge.

The Deed is done

Yet I have a repreive! I called and disconnected my service. However, Rogers needs to send someone here to my home to disconnect the second outlet. Fine with me. That will happen on April 17, 2007. So, I have the PVR and cable until then. I will do nothing but watch TV from not until then.....

Experimentation - Step 1

I am going for it. Why not? I am going to take the plunge and see what happens. I am going to return my PVR and cancel my digital cable. Oh the stress! I am doing this for two, maybe three, reasons.

1. I cannot afford the service.
2. I eat while I watch TV and that habit has put about 20 pounds of fat onto my body.
3. I want to fill my time with other activities and I am curious about how I will deal with
the change.

The thoughts that are telling me not to do this are many. Things like, what if you get sick? You will want to lie on the couch and watch TV, you wont be able too. When you sit down for dinner what are you going to do? What if you don’t do anything, what if you just end up staring at a dark TV set? I know, start buying DVDs and just watch those. Phew, that was a close one.

I might just end up watching DVDs. I have done that in the past. I suppose that’s not all bad. I could catch up on all the movies I have not seen. I could watch films instead of movies (Rosemary can explain the difference for those that require it) and perhaps gain some culture and new topics to discuss. That would be interesting. I could, just sit, and be still and face my demons.

Regardless, the experiment begins today. I am going to post this on my blog and then contact Rogers. They will try to get me to keep the PVR and stay hooked. I will be strong and will resist their attempts to keep me hooked up. I will insist on returning their device of evil and I will, I will do it! Then I will come home and think oh my lord what have I done!!!!

Things I Notice

There is a difference between what we say and what we do. I suppose that is an obvious statement. Here is another one, a statement, that is not perhaps as obvious. I know that there is a difference between what we say is acceptable and what actually is acceptable. Example, I know that it is illegal to leave your dog’s poop on the ground. We are suppose to “stoop and scoop”. I also know, however, that it is acceptable not too. How do I know this? Well, look around next time you are outside. There is dog poop everywhere! No one seems to stoop and scoop in the winter. Some how it is acceptable to leave your dog’s poop wherever it happens fall.

Another example. Apparently if you suffer from any kind of addiction you have a built in escape clause. You can live your life absuing and doing whatever you want. Treating people lile crap, flaunting the rules, whatever.. You can do all this because when you finally get caught you can stand up and blame your addiction. That's right, I am drug addicted and now I see the error of my ways. More like you're sorry you got caught and now you'll use whatever is at your disposal to be let off the hook. How nice that must be for those people out there that choose to abuse pills and alcohol. Just do whatever you want, no worries, when the time comes to face the piper you'll be off the hook. I wonder if my chocolate addiction and some times sex addiction will do the same for me? I wonder, but not all that much as I some how know it wont.

Let’s see what else. How about the street person, that is as I type, lying in the doorway of the office building across the street. He is smoking something and will no doubt leave behind a mess and if we are all really lucky he will pee in the doorway as well (the guy is gone now and he didn’t pee and there is no mess). I know this is ok because it happens all the time and we all just walk on by. I wonder what would happen if I decided to pee in the doorway and throw my garbage there. I have a suspicion that I would be held accountable for my actions. I would be because I have a home and no real addictions to speak of. Why do we have this double standard? If it is okay for him to pee there it’s okay for me.

To continue, what’s with those among us that think it’s okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs? You know the ones, they are walking down the street and they are screaming and yelling “f” this and “f” that. It’s not always street people either. I figure we could have maintained our standards and kept this as one of those things that is not acceptable. I know, however, that it is because not one of us ever says anything. It’s like littering, that’s acceptable as well.

I could go on and on here. Grid locking, that’s more than acceptable, just hang out at any downtown intersection at rush hour. But the one that beats all others, the really big one that we have embraced so deeply. Enabling. Yes, it is totally acceptable to enable all those around us that are dependent or abusive. I think the enablers are worse than the abusers. Without the enablers I think we would have far less “victims” and addicts walking our streets. Keep that in mind the next time you make an excuse for someone.

On the other hand, knowing all this makes it a bit easier to live. Think about it. I can pee wherever I choose and I can toss my litter on the ground. It’s great to know that I do not have to concern myself with picking up after my dog. If everyone else can leave the poop so can I. I am also relieved that I can do drugs at the bottom of the stairwell of the office building next door and I can yell curse words at passers by. I can also have a crap in the park after I have had sex with some random person and then have a bath in the fountain. I can also enable my friends and family, how superior does that makes me feel. The only problem I have is that if I ever get caught and forced to face my behavior I have no addiction to fall back on to save my sorry ass.

Small View Large View

The other day I was driving around town delivering flowers (which is fun but can be stressful when the arrangement falls over in the back of the van) and I noticed a large billboard at Bathurst and Eglinton. In very large letters it called out “Never Forget, Never Again”. It is an ad for the UJA’s Holocaust Centre. I drove by thinking; of course never forget never again. Wait a minute hasn’t it already happened again?

I’d rather we were not at war with anyone ever. However, I do not think I am that naïve or idealistic to think that war is totally avoidable. I do believe that we should be very careful about whom we launch bombs onto. We argue up and down about Iraq. What scares me is that we all stand by while genocide lives and thrives. Not to mention truly oppressive governments that deprive their populations of life’s basic requirements. Anyone considered Korea?

Although I understand the message of the UJA’s sign I think they may want to think a little bit bigger picture. I’d say that the message is a bit self-centred. I would like to think that organizations like the UJA would be the first to scream from the rooftops when it happens again. I am all for remembering and for education. We need to work at not repeating our history. I just think we all need to start thinking about everyone. We are not groups; we are all in this together. If you are going to focus on your own group, fine. Let’s just be honest and upfront about it. Perhaps the sign should read “Never Forget about Us, Never Again to Us.

My two cents.

Purging...

Ok, this idea of purging is great in theory. I, however, am having a difficult time with it in reality. I am going through my tools. You would think this would be easier. You either need that screwdriver or you don’t. But I am making it more than that. It is very overwhelming. I would rather come Blog about it then actually do it!

I have 5 sets of little drawers that my Father used to sort all his screws and needles, files, Dremel tool heads and so on. What in the world do I do with all this stuff??? I think part of it is that I do not want to throw it out. He had all this stuff to make little wooden animals. He used them with the kids. I don’t think the kids would be into having them. The kids are not really kids anymore (well Keenan is but I doubt he wants to sit down and make little creatures from pieces of wood). Maybe Lisa’s kids would want them, who knows? I can ask.

Even that does not help. I still have all this stuff in my apartment. I need to get it out of here. Is it valuable? Am I tossing out something that would go for a million bucks on the Antiques Road show? Damn that Roadshow! That’s the problem. That darn show has made it impossible for me to toss out old plastic drinking cups that look like Starwars characters. I should sue them or maybe just ask them to come over and assess all my belongings. I can tell them that they have caused this “attachment disorder” that I am suffering from and they owe it to me to help me out. I wonder if they would come over? They can tape it and use it on their show. Or maybe turn it into some odd reality show about people that keep things like old plastic Disney characters (those I tossed into the Goodwill bin but I am having second thoughts about it).

What about my unopened figurine of TNG’s Counselor Deanna Troi? I love Deanna how could I ever toss her out? I am keeping her and no one can stop me! Back away from the Deanna figurine! I am going to hide her now. I will take her out when it’s cold and dark and I am lonely. I will talk to her about all my problems and she will whisper sweetly into my ear. The thought of that sends shivers down my body. Maybe she will stroke my face like she does when she is talking to Riker (maybe I should get a figurine of Riker). She will I know she will! I am getting all hard just thinking about it. Have you seen Deanna? Oh my, she is quite something (do straight guys say things like that??). Sort of like Seven of Nine, do they really make girls like that? Anyway, back to Deanna and her soft sweet sultry whispering voice. I will be soothed and comforted and I will sleep like a baby with my Deanna wrapped in my arms. Oh Deanna….

Clearly there is a larger issue here; I shudder to think what my therapist would have to say about that last paragraph. There is an upside, however. I have decided to get rid of the apartment size dryer I have. I have never used it (thank you Nesha for giving it to me). It is taking up a rather large part of the storage space in one of my six closets (thank you Mike M for driving to Mississauga and loading it into your Van with me). When we went to get it Mike made the comment “oh so you just got me to go get a dryer that you are never going to use”. His insight was based on the fact that my apartment does not have a vent for a dryer and the board would not approve one. I had faith however, and figured I would work something out. I even got a stand for it via free to reuse – it’s a yahoo group- but it did not fit. I think that is the writing on the wall. It’s going now. To someone who might just use it.

Okay, I need to go pick up all the screws and electrical tape that is all over the floor in the entryway. Poor Oscar, God love him he is so tolerant. So is Jet for that matter. Oh, I went and got Deanna. She is safe now with me. No one can take her from me. I dare you to try!

How much longer?

Man, I just checked the Zodiac predictions page on Sympatico. I have to wait until May? Geez...

I think this is the first one for 07....

Look at this, another gap in my Blog. This time I have a couple of reasons. First, I had Strep Throat. That is killer. If you have had it you know what I am talking about. If you haven’t then count your blessings and pray you never do come in contact with it. I was down for the count for 4 days and it took two more to feel normal again. The key to minimizing the agony is getting antibiotics as soon as possible. Do not wait even an hour. Impose yourself on your Doctor and then run to the pharmacy. Despite getting them fast you will still be dying for at least two days. This time around I had some left over anti-b’s and even though it’s not the wisest thing to do, I took them. I think that helped keep it to a dull roar. However, getting “fresh” ones is and was paramount.

Then on the heels of that Strep, I took of to Halifax. What a great place it is. I also have some amazing friends there. It is so relaxing and quite a change from the pace of downtown Toronto. In the evening, here in Toronto, I may go out for a meal or walk the dogs or go to a how. In Halifax, it’s out to the barn to shovel the horse manure and pitchfork hay to Ruby and Scotch. Between the farm and my friends that live on it, I had a great time. I am looking forward to getting back there.

So, there you go. I hope all of you, my readers (all three of you J) will forgive me. I must be honest and say I could have blogged while I was in Halifax. They have Internet access. Surprising, I know. Halifax is connected to the Internet! Even more surprising is that Subenacadie is connected. Will wonders ever cease…

One entry I could have made is with respect to the current US President. We watched I would say about 5 minutes of his speech. My buddy shut it off saying something about what a moron George W is. I am not all up and versed in politics but I think he is onto something. George does come off as a moron. Is it that tough to read a teleprompter?

Okay, at long last a new entry. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know.

What, another year has gone by?

I have been wondering about things, things like Darfur and hunger and people that live on the street. I hear stories about poverty and people living without water and power. I think, why do they not get together and create something better for themselves? Why do people insist on waiting for the government? Is it that they do not know any better?

I believe that it is up to us to make our situation better or different. We need to do this on a personal level and a global level. I have friends, and no doubt myself included at times, that have no tolerance for street people. It’s the “pull up your bootstraps” mentality. Although I believe, strongly, in personal accountability I struggle with the idea (and my agreement with it) that it is time for all us to stop being so “self” focused. So where does personal accountability meet asking for help? I think that’s it actually. If you were personally responsible then you would ask for help when you need it. No shame in that. I suppose for the rest of us the challenge is ensuring that help is there when someone asks for it.

For me, this is the year I stop telling myself “I don’t know how”. It’s a destructive action impairing little voice inside me that has prevented me from creating and being what I want to be. For example: Darfur. I wonder what I could do to make a difference. It troubles me that people are being slaughtered while I enjoy my latte (do not confuse this with guilt, I do not feel guilty that I can have a latte I do not think we have to give up our accomplishments or success’s to care for or assist those around us). I would like to help, make a difference stand and be counted in some way. How? Should I go there? How would I do that? What difference would it make to go there? Maybe if we all went there and saw it for ourselves we would all get up and take a stand and make a change, but how?

That’s a large issue; the “I don’t how” voice impacts me in little ways as well. I want to get into doing some educational seminars for dog owners. How do I do that? Where would I get the money? I don’t know how. I would love to create a charity that pays for people to educate themselves. Not in the OSAP (is it still called that) kind of a way. I believe that any education, any course a person wants to take is of value. However, for many of us we simply do not have the funds to pay $400.00 for a baking course at George Brown. Try to getting funding for a baking course. I am pretty sure funding for a course you want to take here and there does not exist. I think it should. Take the course and we will pay for it, or pay for part of it. If someone wants to better themselves I would like to help them out, but how? The Educational Fund Charity has lived only in my thoughts. I have a partial mission statement and have no doubt that getting funds would be the easy part. For me it’s getting past that voice inside me that keeps insisting, “I don’t know how”.

This year, 2007, is the year to look in a different direction. It’s time to leave the Pirate cookies (can I really leave them? I love them and they love me ohhh so much) and get up off the couch. It’s time to believe that I not only know how, but I can. It’s time to take a page out of Wayne’s notebook and persist and create despite the easier route of giving in. In the morning when I want to stay in bed I need to think of my friend Wayne. Wayne is dealing with impairments suffered in a motorcycle accident. Wayne has not once complained to me about his situation. He expresses his frustration but he also shares his determination. The other day he told me about his plans. He has decided to take a new direction; he accepts that he has too. It may be unfair, it may be frustrating, but it is required. A simple fact based on a catastrophic even that occurred through no fault of his own. I draw my inspiration from his determination and no doubt I can gain my own power and strength to create from his. 2007 is going to be the year of knowing how. 2007 is going to be the year of accomplishments and being in service of others. 2007 is the year of knowing and taking action. I challenge you all, and ask you all, to join me.

Hussein Swings - Accountability?

As we all know Saddam was hanged, I believe at 6am Saturday morning. I see no cause for celebration. I have read comments like “it’s George Bush’s turn next” and the obvious that Saddam deserved it. I wondering if he did I wonder about how he was able to commit such crimes. As human beings we simple accept far to much; we remain inactive while horrible crimes against our fellow man occur. We pursue murders in our own towns and cities. I think that that must be easy. Or perhaps the murders are inconvenient to those that are “in charge”. So we take the time to deal with it. Even so it amazes me how easily we allow each other off the hook. In the tiniest ways and in the largest ways we do not hold each other accountable. Why is this so difficult for us?

I imagine, in the case of Saddam it seemed like to large an issue. So, we allowed this man to control and kill thousands. We all sat back and did our thing while he did his. We all share in this shame. I truly believe that it is time to stop shifting blame; whether it be on our leaders or on ourselves. Whether the dispute is international, local or between one and other we need to stand up and speak the truth. I know it sounds easy and I get that sometimes the truth is known but not easy to prove. I still say that years prior to the US invading Iraq there was enough evidence to take down the man that was killing a country. I hazard a wild guess that we had far more evidence of his killings than we did of his weapons of mass destruction.

Bottom line here for me, there is no pleasure in any killing. I take no pleasure in his death. I think it is unfortunate that we waited so long to take action; we failed to help out when it would have truly mattered. I feel frustrated and uncertain of what to do because we keep repeating this error of inaction over and over again. I think that if we start, first with ourselves and then with those around us, to hold everyone accountable for their actions we would all be in a better place.

A Very Important New Year Issue....

This Monday is a holiday, New Years Day. I pointed this out to a friend of mine, Pam, the other day while we were walking through the Eaton Centre. Of course she was more than aware of this fact. I then asked her if this would be the last long weekend of the year (2006) or the first long weekend of next year. Pam had a funny reaction to this obvious conundrum; her funny laugh and those bright eyes of hers lit up.

Pam then called me on it and asked me which one it would be, the last long weekend or the first. I presented the argument that the holiday actually falls in the new year so it could be considered the first long weekend. Of course, I then pointed out the counter argument that the majority of the weekend was in this year and it could be argued that the majority rules and it really is the last long weekend of the year. Pam accused me of being a politician so I was forced to make a decision. Here it is, my decisions and of course as with all my decision this one is binding.

It is the first long weekend on 2007. The holiday falls in 2007, therefore; the entire holiday weekend is considered to be in 2007. So, there you go this burning issue is now resolved. Debate closed. Enjoy this, the first long weekend of 2007. Use it wisely. Party smart and have a great New Years Eve. When you get up Monday afternoon, shake yourself off and forgo making any resolutions. Make clear measurable goals and make 2007 the year of years!

Matthew and the Preacher Teacher

I was just watching 360 with Anderson Cooper (here is his site…I could not find anything on here about Matthew but I did run into Anderson….so all in all it was worth it – have a peek Anderson Cooper). He had Matthew on his show. Matthew is a student in the US that recorded his teacher “preaching” during the class. Matthew recorded the teacher because he did not think that anyone would believe him when he filed his complaint against the Teacher. The Teacher was preaching his brand of religion during the US history class. The Teacher had a pretty strong message for the students. Evolution is not a science and if you do not believe in God and Heaven then you belong in hell. Nice, this guy is exactly what we need in our classrooms.

Matthew filed a complaint with the Principal of the school. After some persistence on Matthew's, they had a meeting. Surprise, the Teacher denied making any religious statements. I wonder why the Teacher would deny what he believes in? Do you think he knew he was not supposed to be doing such things? Of course he knew he had over stepped and I would hazzard a guess he figured the Principal would believe him, a God fearing Teacher, over a student. And that is exactly what happened, the Principal believed the Teacher. It is always easier to believe the Teacher and avoid actually having to do something. Matthew then revealed that he had taped the classes. Matthew had the lying Preacher Teacher on tape. Good for you Matthew! Way to play authority at their own game!!!

So far the school has not taken any action. The Teacher is still there and doing what he has always done. Preaching. The Teacher has not been asked to set the record straight or apologize to the students. No surprise here. If this had been the other way around, the student would be expelled. There have been comments made that Matthew violated the Teacher’s rights. Interesting that there is concern for the Teacher’s rights, yes let’s protect the lying Preacher Teacher. What about the student’s rights? I am not sure how Matthew violated the Teacher. The Teacher has no expectation of privacy while teaching. Quite the opposite if you ask me. Teachers should expect that anyone might be listening at any time.

Matthew taped the Teacher because he did not have faith that anyone would believe him. He felt that the powers that be needed to know what was going on in his class. It’s unfortunate that he had to tape the Teacher to ensure that the something would be done. Clearly Matthew knows the people he is dealing with; he knew he needed recorded evidence to force the Teacher and the Principal to act. I wonder if Matthew was the first student to bring this to the Principal’s attention. I doubt it; he was just smart enough to collect the evidence.

Matthew has received death threats. That does not surprise me either. I often wonder why religious people feel they need to threaten the lives of people that do not share their beliefs. Are their beliefs so fragile? I think that they are. When you rely on a book full of contradictions and imaginary events, you would have to resort to killing to keep it alive.

Stand strong Matthew, there are more behind you than you know.

Some Declarations - In no particular order

I like Oprah. Although I am not going to go as far as saying I am a “fan”. Except for the celebrity circle jerk episodes, which I erase, I like her show.

I am pro choice, although I do struggle with the thought of “killing” an unborn child. I also think that women should not have it both ways. You should need to have the Father involved to have an abortion (with the obvious exception of rape). It took two create it. If you expect child support if you have the little one then you should have to have the Father’s input to have an abortion. It works both ways.

I think car alarms should be banned. They are the ultimate in self-centered technology. No one cares about your car. No one will call the police when the alarm goes off. We are just annoyed by it and the fact that you don’t come running back to your car to shut it off. Fine for an over active car alarm? $5000.00 or 500 hours community service.

I think dog owners should require the license, not the dog.

We should not cater to those of us that insist on playing the victim. Get help and leave the rest of us alone.

I like the music of the Backstreet Boys. I also like the Scorpions and Madonna. I enjoy classical music but more often then not I am blasting Elton John or George Michael from my stereo speakers. I also like Kelly Clarkson and Linkin Park.

I go crazy over stupid things like a Judge ordering a Christmas tree removed. What? Get over it. If you are that much of a victim that a Christmas tree offends you, go get help! That Judge needs a kick in the ass too!

I’d rather sleep in then get up for any reason. I am lost in my idea that I don’t know how. I can be very organized but my desk, right now, is a mess.

I have no clue when someone is coming on to me. None. Surprise I am single!

I just noticed....

that Vogue has come out with a Men's version of their magazine. How nice. Now men can get eating disorders and have poor body images as well. Thanks Vogue.

A Brillant idea?

I might be giving Harper to much credit for this, however I have to think that his same sex marriage scheme paid off. Consider, he takes a stand against the issue to win the election. He then promises to reopen this tired old debate. He follows through on that promise and I think he knows it’s a losing proposition. The debate happens and everyone gets to have their say. Then the vote. Surprise, the motion to reopen the issue is defeated. I think Harper knew all along that it would be.

That was the whole idea. Let’s take a stand and make a promise. We can keep it because we know it’s win win. If the debate is reopened, great. We please all those ultra conservatives that think same sex marriage should be banished. We debate the entire issue over again and regardless of the outcome we kept our promise. Same holds true if the debate is not reopened. That’s all right because we kept our promise to give it a try. What can we do, it was defeated.

After the defeat we announce that the issue is dead. We will never open it again. Wow, who is the hero know? He keeps his promises and closes the debate. Everyone is happy! Everyone is happy if you are falling for the act. Politics is all about appearances. Honest, taking a stand, believing in an issue or having principals doesn’t enter into it. All you have to do is look good, to get the votes and stay in power. In the end they are all the same. It may sound like I have no faith but I do and I vote. I believe in that power and I would rather have it then not. Still, we need to be more diligent and hold these people to a higher standard.

So no doubt Harper is happy with his little same sex game. I must say it was impressive. Just remember that he voted in favour of reopening the debate. Regardless of what he says now, he does not believe that we are equal.

A tribute to Taima - 2001 to 2006

Taima is, as you can see, a spectacular Samoyed. She was a loving wonderful dog and was deeply loved and cared for by her friends and family. Taima died on Thursday in a freak accident that no one could anticipate (the details of which are not necessary to share here). I wanted to pay tribute to Tamia because I know how much her "Mom and Dad" cared for her. They loved her deeply and are sick over her loss. Memories are what we have now and oh what memories they are!


This first photo (above) was taken when Taima won "Best of Opposite" at the Samoyed Club of Ontario's specialty show (not sure of the year).


This photo is a picture of her first and only litter. What a blast these puppies were. I was lucky to spend the day at the farm playing with Taima's pups. Taima was a gracious Mommy and let us all play and enjoy her little ones. All of these guys have homes and one pup, Paka, stayed with his Mom and joined the rather large family on the farm.



Taima has won other awards and was planning on hitting the show circut again this coming year. No doubt she would have taken it by storm! Taima will be missed. We can, however, see and enjoy Taima's spirit in the pups she left us with and in particular little Paka. We honour Taima by taking our love for her and showering it on Paka and spreading it around all the animals at the farm she loved.



This is paka. What a cutie! I was giving him a bath at my now closed dog grooming store. He was very paitent with me as I soaped him up and then took pictures of him. A tribute to his Mother! After his bath we played and I took him for a tour of the building. Everyone just loved him! How could you not???




There you have it. A sad story perhaps, but also one filled with great memories. Taima's passing is a huge loss to the show ring and to her family; they loved her not becasue she was a winner but because she was Taima.

If you would care to make a donation to the Unversity of Guelph's Pet Trust in the name of Taima it would be greatly apprecaited. Follow this link:

University of Guelph Pet Trust

Links of interest:

The Fonz

Samoyeed Association of Ontario

Social Experimentation

I was just discussing the social experiment that Showtime imposed on a homeless person. They approached a homeless person and asked him if they could film him for a documentary. They put him through physical and physiological tests and then decided to use this man in the experiment. On the surface of this I have no huge issue with what they did. The man agreed and they did not set out to harm him. What they did was, without the man’s prior knowledge, gave him $100,000.00. The idea was to see how he would handle the money. Would it turn his life around was the big question.

Apparently it did not. After all was said and done the man is again homeless and in debt. He feels worse off then when it all began and told Oprah that he would rather have not had the money at all. In the discussion I was having with my friend Janet, I mentioned that they did offer him financial counseling and some kind of therapy. Janet's comment was that it seemed unrealistic to her to expect a man that has not had any social interactions for 20 years to take advantage of a Financial Advisor. It was a good point. I look forward to having an opportunity to watch the entire documentary. I think now we should consider the question, is it okay to use someone’s life as a social experiment.

Yet another.....poem.

Encouraged by a comment on a previous post I offer up this for your consideration.

And as the coins falls
I watch breathless
Spinning slowly around it
Around it all.

The crushing weight
The voice of the child
The tears of agony
The vacancy of loss.

The despair.

The whispers.

The silence.

Left with these remains
Wanting your action
I
Run from this place
You left me in.

Merry Christmas....everyone!

It has become offensive to say Merry Christmas. Is that not truly astounding? Apparently Wal-Mart (in the US) is asking it’s meeter greeters to “guess” a persons religion and then say Merry Christmas or not. We have truly gone insane. If you are offended by a greeting that wishes you health and joy you need to go home. When you get there, close you doors and bolt your windows shut. Have your food delivered and to avoid contact with the poor unsuspecting delivery person, leave the money on your porch.

This issue has always made me wonder about the human condition. There was a time when saying Merry Christmas was simply that, you said Merry Christmas. If you were Jewish you said, thanks and kept on going. Or maybe you said, I’m a Jew. Regardless the sentiment was appreciated. I can’t imagine the person that twists this into something offensive. Get over yourself.

The acknowledgement of one cultures (or religions) holiday does not insult or belittle another. What does is making an issue out it. I say we all, regardless of our beliefs, wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I think we should sue Wal-Mart if they do not say Merry Christmas. How dare they not acknowledge this holiday and offer me greetings of health and happiness. Does that sound crazy? It should and lets face it, the opposite is too.

A great poem...

Not sure if it is punctuated correctly or even if it is accurate. I searched the web and took the first version I found.....


William Ernest Henley - 1849–1903



Invictis




Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever Gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloodied, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade.
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scrolls,
I am the master of my fate.
I am the Captain of my soul.

Blogger Wall

I've hit the Blogger wall yet again. I have been absent and thinking about what I can blog. I have no doubt there are millions of things I can write about but yet nothing comes to mind. Maybe I will post a couple of things that are of interest to me. See where that leads....

Jessica Coleman - Baby Killer

I decided to delete this post. For reasons unknown to me the post has generated 36 comments. Most of which are pretty lame. Everything from the ridiculous to the sublime. I really like the comment that we or I should be more concerned about real crime like "rape and child abuse". I guess in this commenter's mind killing your baby isn't a real crime or child abuse. Interesting. Anyway, I got tired of the emails so I am removing the post. I'll leave the comments for your amusement.

Dancing with the Semi Stars

Okay, I admit the past two weeks I have watched Dancing with the Stars. I fast forward to the dance and then fast forward to the scores. I cannot be bothered to watch all the filler. I do not need any more filler! Some observations. Who is Monique? Who is Emmit for that matter; I am guessing he is a sports person. I know the other two, Joey and Mario and I also knew Jerry Springer. Still, with the mystery of Monique and Emmit I am thinking it should be called Dancing with the Semi Stars! Further, what is with the camera dancing? Stand still will ya! Circling the camera around and the close up shots on the dancers is counter productive. I want to see them dance. Steady camera shots showing the entire dance would be nice.

Otherwise, good show. I enjoy the dancing and the music. It is nice to see Ballroom and for the most part, excellent Ballroom. Why can’t people in clubs dance more like that? It’s fun and takes some skill and practice. So, I guess I just answered my own question.

Now wait for it. Big fag moment. That Mario….OH MY GOD!

Encouraging Comments

I am frustrated that my Blog does not inspire more comments. Why don’t you comment? You read the Blog, or at least I am hoping that you read the Blog. I just wish you would comment. Comments make me feel good. The comments make me feel like someone is reading my pieces and that the pieces inspire you to some thought. The comments reflect those thoughts and that is how I know you have them (thoughts).

If you thought you needed permission then you have it. This is your permission to comment on my Blog. I would prefer if you create a Blogger Profile so your comments are not anonymous but if you insist, fine keep your identity to yourself. I am fine with that for the time being. Blogs, well this one at least, are interactive. So, interact. Post your thoughts, suggestions and ideas. Let me know you’re there.

The Play

Rondi and I went to this play the other day. Rondi said, on the way into the play, that she would let me Blog about it. I now feel obligated. This is my Blog entry about the play.

I have no idea what it was about. I was confused from the moment the actors hit the stage in scene one act one. Why were all the male roles played by women and the one male role played by a woman? Actually, let me correct that, one male role was played by a man, which is even more confusing. It was a political scene set 15 years in the past. A comforting moment came at the intermission when Rondi said she wasn’t sure if it was a fictitious government they were portraying or the actual government we had at the time. It was comforting because I wasn’t alone in at least some of my confusion.

The play continued on with different scenes that apparently did not relate in any way to any other scene. I assume that the scene about the combative couple was figurative not literal but who knows? At the intermission Rondi, being gracious and all, suggested we leave. We both decided to stay and see the end. Maybe it would all make sense. Unfortunately, the end did not clarify anything, for me anyway. I left wondering if I am ignorant or if the play was lacking in some way. I am not sure which it is but I can say I enjoyed the afternoon. Rondi is great company and if nothing else the play got me thinking.

Thanks Rondi, for the invite.

Tomorrow's past

5 tomorrows have become yesterdays since I wrote about all the things I was going to do tomorrow. I just realized this and I even had to count the tomorrows that have past into yesterdays. What a shock this is to discover all these new yesterdays. Then, after giving this some further thought, I believe I must have made a mistake. It wasn’t that particular tomorrow that I was all excited about. It must be this tomorrow coming. Yes, that’s it! I am all excited again. I was worried that I had missed the tomorrow in question. I was worried that tomorrow had come and gone and I had overlooked it; missed the opportunity to do all the things I wanted to do. I haven’t however; there is another tomorrow coming soon. What a relief.

Tomorrow

I don’t know about you but for me tomorrow is going to be a rather busy day. I have so many things planned for tomorrow. I am going to start going to the gym tomorrow. I am going to get into writing and playing the piano. Tomorrow, I am going to start riding my bike. I am going to call people and go places and meditate. Tomorrow, all of this will happen. Tomorrow.

I figure why start today? Why? It’s already 2 in the afternoon. What’s the point in starting today? Might as well start fresh tomorrow. Get it all planned and organized. I could do that today; actually I will do it tomorrow in the morning. That’s it get up nice an early and get planning. Then start doing all the things I want to do. No more waiting I will do it all tomorrow. I am so looking forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Tomorrow. I am so excited about tomorrow. Today not so much, today I will just chill and watch a bit of TV. Maybe clean a bit and get to bed early. I will do that, early to bed so I can get up tomorrow and get started! I will drink a toast tonight to tomorrow. Here’s to tomorrow’s successes!

I am reminded of a quote:

Today is the tomorrow you planned for yesterday.

Bombs and Sanctions

I have to admit that I do not know that much about world politics so feel free to correct me in the comment section if you so wish. I read this article in The Star and I wonder what sanctions against a dictator will accomplish. I suspect that the only people who will surfer is the already impoverished and innocent population. Kim Jong, no doubt will still live a lavish life style (with that speedy muffler outfit) while the people of North Korea feel the impact of UN sanctions. I do not have a solution other than killing the dictator, which would lead to other issues. Who would take over? How do you “debrief” or closer to the truth “deprogram” an entire population? Would the people of North Korea ever accept a democratic process?

I find it difficult to imagine leaving nuclear weapons in the hands of a person such as Kim Jong. I think it is important to make that distinction. The weapons are under his control. Should he decide to use them he has no one to answer to or convince. We can say all we want about the US and other nations but at least they go to a council and have the debate. Kim Jong will not pay us the same respect.

Smoke Free....

I spotted this on Rondi’s blog (wonkitties). I do not think she is joking, although I am not sure. Regardless, I am; however, glad to see that more and more places are going smoke free. I hate smoke. I hate smelling it and choking on it when I am walking down the street. I also hate seeing the “butt’s” in the streets. Why can’t smokers carry little ashtrays? My sister had one, a little ashtray with a lid. Kept all that dirty crap contained. If you are going to insist on smoking on our streets and in our parks then clean up after yourself.

I have heard the argument that all this legislation is against "Smoker’s Rights". Really, since when did smokers have rights? I have heard of this before and I have looked around for these so called rights. I have yet to find any so I figured I would hazard a guess as to what these rights would look like.

Smokers Rights

We, the Smokers, have the right to purchase little cancer causing tobacco sticks in shops that will be on every single corner. We will call these shops Convenience Stores. We will then have the right to light up everywhere we go. We will inhale deeply, as is our right, and then blow our smoke out into the world. We do this regardless of who might inhale this second hand, as this is our right as a Smoker. Further, we have the right to “flick” our cigarette butt’s (as they will come to be known) out of our car windows and off of our balconies. And should some non-smoker get burned we shall not speak of it as this may lead to an infringement of our rights as a Smokers. We will also have the right to oxygen tanks and lung transplant surgery on the dime of our government health insurance (subsidized by the non smokers who do not share in these rights) and we will breathe easy again so we may continue smoking, as is our right. Finally we will have the right to carry on our addictive behavior without being discriminated against and we will use the lobbyists of the large corporations that sell us our drug of choice because we are Smokers and we have rights!

This summer when I am sitting on a patio and some smoker lights up I am going to institute the water spray retaliation plan. In this plan I have a spray bottle of water with me. When the smoker lights up I start to spritz my water. When they ask me to stop, I will ask them to stop. When they tell me they have the “right” to smoke I will tell them I have the “right” to water.

Thinking

In the silence is
where everything is spoken
Inside the silence is
where we make love
Down deep in the darkness is
where no sound can travel
And the truth of our lives also, is
Down deep
where our souls mingle.

Rights and North Korea

I heard a comment that North Korea has “the right” to create and maintain nuclear weapons. Why? How is it that an insane dictator that has a country of people under control through fear has the right to create and arsenal of nuclear weapons? This same person compared the situation to the United States saying that they have nuclear weapons and if they have them any nation should be allowed to have them. I fail to see the comparison. We are talking about a Country that is lead by an individual that denies its population any basic human freedoms. They are not allowed to use the Internet or cell phones. They barley have enough food to survive and they have every aspect of their lives dictated to them.

Before anyone makes the argument that these people worship the dictator lets just move on from that by saying the following. When you are raised to believe that your leader is God and you are manipulated by fear the fact that you worship him does not count. You are not making that choice willingly. The abused often hold the hand of their abusers.

This man has no rights, period. He has no expectation that the rest of us should or would respect him or his regime of manipulation and terror. It is unfortunate that the USA attacked Iraiq instead of North Korea. Clearly North Korea is the largest threat to democracy. Regardless, a dictator has no rights to nuclear power or anything else for that matter.

It's Pretty Simple

Mel Gibson. I will say upfront that I think spending the amount of time on this topic that our media has is a huge waste of time. First, the man was drunk, apparently drinks quite a bit, which says pretty much all we need to know. Second, in his interview with Diane Sawyer he says it all. He claims that the comments he made are not the type of person he is. He said that the alcohol loosened his tongue. Whatever Mel, when I am drunk and my tongue gets loose I do not find myself making racial slurs and referring to female Police Officer's as “sugar tits”. I also found it very interesting that you had the presence of mind to consider your image. You splashed cold water on your face and fixed your hair prior to having your mug shot taken. You did this by your own admission because you were thinking of Nick Nolte’s mug shot and you didn’t want one like that, of yourself, out there. I see Mel, we are to believe that the words you were spouting were not you, or a reflection of the man you are, because you were drunk and therefore; not in command of your faculties . Yet you were in command enough to fix your hair for your mug shot. Mel again, whatever.

I am reminded here of a quote from Maya Angelou. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”. I believe you Mel.

OJ - the drink...

Tony, from Oro Cafe, just dropped off an OJ smoothie. I love it, what a nice part of the day. It's an odd concoction however. It is made with fresh squeezed orange juice, milk and ice. All blended together in a blender. Yum. I must say it feels so good to drink. So healthy and refreshing. I have a new drink. The old one, a grande soy no water no foam tazo chai, is just so heavy and fattening. I think I will move on.

Okay back to grooming. One dog on the table one more to bath. I should be done by 1ish...looking forward to that.

Understanding

I read this article, which I discovered on a fellow blogger’s blog. I must say that I do not understand world politics and world economics. We seem to act as if this is something that is beyond our control. Like the stock market is some kind of living entity and try as we might we simple cannot predict it or control it. Did we, mankind, not create it?

The article talks about world leaders and the UN. It talks about coups and killings and university professors. It mentions oil and New York City gridlock (which I agree why is the UN in New York?). It talks about madmen running countries. Why is it that we human beings insist on electing madmen? What is with the leader of Iran that has him denying the Holocaust? One of his statements is “why 6 million” what does he mean by that? I would truly love to get to speak to these people, one on one, for an hour. I doubt I could take much more than that but it would be a great opportunity to find out what they really think if they think at all.

Still I find myself confused. There were parts of the article I did not even follow. Like why it is that certain economies are doing so well. The writer quotes percentage increases in certain economies and I recall that the US was at 5%. There was a comparison, to say, Russia that was 49 or 50%. I have a feeling that the growth of these developing nations is large and the US is small has something to do with a lesson I once got from my personal trainer. He told me that my gain (muscle) would far out reach his. Why? Because his body is so developed that his gain would obviously not be as great as mine. It would take him a lot of work to increase by 1 or 2 points but me well I would gain by leaps and bounds. I am not sure if I explained that properly but it makes sense to me. It is always tougher to lose the last 10 pounds than the first.

Connecting this back to the economy question. The US is not going to gain that much. It is thriving and developed. So maybe 5% is like Russia doing 50, I do not know just a guess. I am still left wondering why, if the world is made up of basically good people, we have countries laundering money, killing Bankers (which by the way is a nice way of candy coating the death of a person, he may have been a Banker for a living but he was a human being and he was murdered) denying horrific atrocities not to mention the wars we engage in. I suppose, when it comes right down to it, we are all to busy in our own little worlds to stand up for what we believe in. How inconvenient to have to educate ourselves and participate. How scary it is to take on these large issues. Much easier to go home and lie in bed and watch some so called reality show.

Janet

All weekend long, as things happened, I thought I should Blog this. Of course, now that it is time to Blog I have nothing to write about. I find myself wondering what did happen over the weekend? I recall going to Fran’s for a really late lunch or perhaps it was a really early dinner. I groomed a couple of dogs on Saturday and a friend dropped by. Oh, it’s all coming back to me now. It was a good weekend.

Yesterday I watched Oprah. Oprah’s guest was Janet Jackson. When the interview started I thought it was going to be pretty lame. One of the first questions Oprah asked her and Janet did not answer it, directly. I got the feeling she (Janet) did not understand the question. I stuck it out, however, as I have never seen Janet interviewed and I was sure Oprah would ask her about Michael. I think I may have been more curious about that then Janet her self.

By the end of the interview Janet had won me over. She seems to be an intelligent funny woman. She is very soft spoken and I found it hard to hear her, which seems odd on TV. Oprah came through loud and clear but I had to turn the volume up to hear Janet. Odd.

Janet performed twice and even though I enjoy the dancing and her music I did not watch the performances. It is a sound thing. For some reason I do not like the sound when any singer performs on a talk show. So I fast-forward though those parts of the show.

There you go. That’s my Blog entry. Nothing very exciting I am afraid and certainly not life changing. You will have to read the archives for that!

A World of Devils

All I have to say is: Takes one to know one.

Click the link for details. The Devil.

Fight clubs....

Here we go. In this TO Star article it is uncovered that young school students are in fight clubs. They punch each other out and video tape it using their cell phones. Then they post the video on the web. Some do this for profit some for fun. Now the "authorities" want to find a way to arrest them. Of course this must be stopped it's wrong! Whatever.

First I have to laugh at parents. Always so surprised that little Jonny or Suzie are into something like this. The Mother in the article states that they do not condone violence at home. Okay, but her son is in the cadets and she is proud that he has learned to use a gun. Hmmmmm. I also find myself wondering who supplied these teens with the cell phones. I wonder if it is the ever popular indulgent parent. I wonder.

I figure we need to have an open rapport with young people, actually talk to them and listen. Listen being the operative word here. Often we only hear what we want too. We need to be open to what they are saying, truly hear them, then we can start to support them in a truly meaningful way. I can't imagine engaging in a "fight club". Although if I thought I could win I might have gone for it. Hell why not? Think back to 15 years old and what a school yard is all about. Why do we as Adults always want to control. Let's arrest these young people. They are wrong and bad and we need to stop this, we need to be in charge. We know what's right and what's best. We need to get over ourselves. We need to realize that we do not have control, never did, never will. We can however, listen offer our support and create alternatives. Of course that takes more effort and is far more time consuming then arresting them.

Too skinny, what???

I heard on the radio, I think it was this morning, that the genius’s that run fashion shows have decided that models are to thin. Really, I hadn’t noticed. On the surface I think this is a positive change. Models can lay of the drugs and have a bag of chips. The rest of us will see realistic bodies on runways and magazines (well maybe not realistic but closer to the truth).

What gets me, however, is that these ultra skinny models are no longer being asked to model. Suddenly they are to thin. Without any warning the industry shifts gears and drops all the girls that have purged and starved for them. The industries righteous attitude once again causes damage the models. What’s that all about; it’s all about a lack of integrity. How so you ask? Glad you did.

If those in the industry that make these decisions acted with integrity and professionalism they would work with the models. Prepare them for the change. Let them know that they can go to rehab and hit the junk food isle at Loblaws or Vons. Give the girls a chance to put on a few pounds. In the mean time let them model.

These girls strut and starve all to show off some gowned only 1 percent of the population could ever hope to afford. Sure they get the big paycheque but stop with the head games. It’s like an abusive parent, slap them down and then hug them. Those poor girls, is it any wonder…

To shave or not to shave

Last night, in the wee hours, I was reading an article on body hair. I would have added the link here, however, it was on sympatico/msn’s home page and I cannot locate the article now. Anyway, it talked about lots of hair no hair and what to do with hair. It talked about how some women love a man with a big furry chest and others do not. It did not, however, talk about the fact that some men love a big furry chest. We still live in a homophobic world. Why not just write in a genderless fashion. Of course, that is likely to difficult for mainstream media. But I digress.

What I have learned over the years is this. Lots of hair no hair, tall or short it really doesn’t matter. As I attempt to pair myself off I always find that I am either to tall or to short or to fat and believe it or not, not fat enough (that was a real kick in the teeth). The truth of the matter is we need to just be what we are. When that “right” person strolls along they will love us because we are hairy or smooth tall or short. Truth be they will love us for who we are not our physical appearance. Okay I get that our appearance is what gets their attention but that wont last.

So pluck and primp pull and tug all you want. Your potential mate might just pass you by because they love furry chests and you shaved yours off.

A little inspiration

I just read the Wonkitties Blog and there was a mention of Patricia Kennedy Lawford’s recent death. I clicked on the link to the article and after reading it I realized that that is the kind of life I want. And I don’t mean being married to a hot actor and having kids. Although, I would not turn down the hot actor part but that’s a different kind of Blog entry! I thought it must have been fulfilling to have given so much and participated in so many things that helped so many people. I think I am, yet again, in the wrong career stream. I tend to get into things and then discover that they are empty and meaningless. I mean imagine working 11 years for a large Canadian Bank!

So, I sit here at work, in my store, and wonder and wait. Right now I am hoping for the next 30 minutes to pass by so I can head out for lunch. I am still a bit tired from being sick and I want to get up and move around. I read Rondi’s Blog and now feel informed and maybe a little bit inspired as well.

I wonder if, at 40, one sees 82 (Patricia’s age at her time of death) as much closer and that makes every thing seem more urgent. Not much time left to achieve all the things one dreamed about in their youth. One day 20 the next day 40. Time to get on with it. I think I’ll go get a Chai Latte now.

Email

I just sent up a new email address for myself at home. I have gone without the Internet, at home, for the past few months so I have not had email directed to my home. I recently set up the Internet again and just today got my email working properly. I set up a new email address and sent it out to my friends. No one has sent me an email yet! I keep checking to see if I have any new messages. None. How can that be? Funny, I have had email for years. One would think the novelty would have worn off. But nope, I have new “toy” and I want someone to send me email! I need new friends. :)

Proportions

Crap.
The light fell
spilling across the floor
it exposed the bottom
the secret place kept hidden
under the bed.

I inhale.
just outside range
frozen now in the dark part
of the room; my life flashes
held there I wonder
Am I a victim?

Danger.
passes around me
the light rolls the other way
a deeper shadow, light crawling up the wall and
I see the top now

and it is strange and out of reach.

Tired and betrayed

I feel violated, robbed and raped. I just saw The Wicker Man. What an incredibly stupid movie. It was slow and the ending was laughable. The trailers for this move make it look great; score one for marketing. I, however, feel mislead and abused. What the car wreck at the beginning of the movie has to do with anything I am not sure. Perhaps it is simply a coincidence. I am also left wondering if we are suppose to believe that the cult of insane women has magical powers. I suppose the Writer, director and the actors must have been confused. Were they shooting a fantasy movie about a magical cult of control freak women or a movie about a group of pathetic misdirected women that get off on killing men from the outside world. Kind of like the isle of Wonder Woman run amuck.

Regardless, none of the people involved gave this movie much thought. It was basic, simple and dull. Except of course, for the laugh at the end when we see the tall “wicker man” constructed out of tree branches.

Stuff

The other day a friend mentioned that they had sold almost all their possessions in preparation for a move. They commented how liberating it was, how free they felt. It is interesting how our possessions can weigh us down. I have been in a process of purging. Trying to get rid of things that I have held onto for one reason or another. It feels the same way, liberating. It’s like a weight has lifted and my mind is free to consider other things.

My dilemma is (yes of course inside all of this there is a dilemma) that I cannot get rid of everything. I have different reasons for that. One is that some of those things I need, like dishes and my bed. I use those things. I also have sentimental attachments to things. Not to my bed, not enough action there to create any memories to be attached too! As an example I have my Grandfather’s desk. I do not feel that I could just take it over to Goodwill and be done with it. It’s kind of like dropping off his memory like I am done remembering the times we shared. It’s not in the way either and I use it. I think that this example is a no brainer; keep the desk.

What about knick-knacks from past trips? I have little decorative bottles of liquor. Not that many mind you I can think of one off the top of my head. It is the shape of a little orange. I got it in Spain. Do I keep that? I have pictures from my trip to Spain do I need to keep all the other little mementos?

There you go my dilemma. I look at things and try to decide with my mind if I need this or do I just want it. With some things it’s easy and the item is gone. With others I feel the pull on my heartstrings and I set the item aside. Where it remains for days or weeks, well even years waiting for me to decide what it’s fate might be. And what if it is valuable? I would hate to give something to Goodwill only to find out it was worth 1000 bucks. I would never part with anything ever again!

Since May....

I was just looking at my blog and was surprised to see that I have not posted anything since May. I found it hard to believe that I haven't had anything to say for almost 3 months! I suppose my attempts to post without whining are slowing me down.

Here it is with September approaching fast. It seems fast to me at any rate. Time is still flying by, what will tomorrow bring? The store is slow again this week. Last week was a good week. I have a feeling it may be slow till September. Once everyone is back in town and back to a routine I am hopping it will pick up again.

What to say then about all and everything. I say Israel and Hezbollah should just let it go and take a break. I can't imagine fighting for 1000 years. Other than that I can't seem to think of anything else going on in the world. Maybe I should pick up a paper from time to time. The weather is pretty good.

Nice, an August entry in my blog. My work here is done now till when, lets see, November!

Depleted

It’s late at night
and I have watched the love
of others.

The white lines on the road causing
things to change, turn
drive off.

And I am so up and ready
I am so much and there
I am.

It’s taking all this control not to
move there, be everything; scream from
the rafters.

Or is it cry into the self-pity?
Pull the knife out and watch the blood stain
the waters,

cram everything back down to
stand behind the counter again.
Self esteem.

So its like this blustery storm that
makes your hair fly and your eyes…
Its like…

The madness inside that violent rain that
slams into the pavement and dances
back up.

Its saturation and depletion
It’s a frustration and melancholy exhaustion that;
Kills you.

Paper

My Father passed away about a year and half ago. Yesterday I began shredding the paper aspect of his life. Paper that traces and is now one of the only records of his existence. I have thought that I can make up a big story about all this, become a victim and create lots of meaning here. Instead I just think it is funny how in his life those pieces of paper were so important. A cheque he wrote me in 96, a Mastercard statement, receipts for Shayla’s karate. In death they lose all the meaning they had and become trivial, unimportant. It becomes a large green bag of shredded paper that will be recycled into something else. Maybe more paper for another soul to create a record of their life. I was shredding it to make space, get rid of things I do not need. Maybe I will stop now and read everything this record of his life. The things he spent his money on the things he felt were important to keep. Or perhaps they were just things he kept with no importance attached to them. Still, they have become the paper record of his life and aside from pictures and some home movies it is all that remains.

The Library

I was driving home this evening from my sister’s place along a rather quiet section of highway 27. A thought came to me about an episode of Twilghtzone or it could have been Outer Limits, who knows. The episode was about this library that was full of books. There was one book for each of us. The books, however, were all blank. As you lived your life the books filled with all the things you were doing. That’s the best explanation of the episode that I have. If you need something with more details then you are going to have to look up the episode.

My thoughts continued from the books. I was thinking, what would be written in my book right now? I am not sure what voice the books are written in but this is what came to mind.

Roy is driving along the highway. As he picks his nose he glances around trying to take in the scenery. He thinks that he is taking in more than is he actually aware of. My God, is his next thought. Most of this damn book is so boring!

I imagine that most of those books would have pages, chapters, entire volumes of the most boring dull crap you have ever read in your life. Just stop and think about it for a moment. What would be in your book? Elysse rolls out of bed and heads down the hallway to the bathroom. Cherie is fast asleep having dreams about things that make no sense, to her or anyone else. Mom is watching TV having just washed her hair she feels the rollers on her head. Grace is bored in the ER as she monitors a patient.

There you go, food for thought. I suppose I consider the moments in my book that would be exciting. Or close to it. Like, Roy is dancing in the aisle at his third Elton John concert. Or, as Roy witnesses the birth of his second niece he hears his sister Cherie say “it’s a girl!!!” He wonders, how the hell can she tell? I hope she is right because if she’s not Chana is going to be pissed!

I wonder if confronting the HR manager and asking to be paid to leave the company would be considered exciting. Perhaps it all depends on the life we are reading. It might be in my book. I’ll have to give this some more thought. See what I can come up with. In the mean time, however, consider all those pages and pages of boring crap. If you read my book you would be subjected to reading all the pages dedicated to the times I have gone to the can and just sat there. Or the moments in my life sitting alone and idle in my car stuck in traffic. How exciting would that be? Big yawn.
It just occurred to me that this could be hell. Be good in this life everyone cause you might end up in that library forced to read all the boring crap that has gone on in my life!

Public Transit

I was on the streetcar this past Wednesday forced onto public transit by circumstances that were beyond my control. I learned again why I avoid it, public transit. I was sitting there recalling a time when a great friend of mine and I would take the streetcar into work. Direct from the beaches to downtown with all the crazies and undesirables.

This particular trip I was seated 3 rows behind a guy sporting a Mohawk and a belt made out of bullets. Who wears a belt made out of bullets? 4 stops into my ride another character got on wearing a bullet belt. Obviously it is a public transit fashion trend that I have been blissfully unaware of. Anyway, the Mohawk guy and his buddy got off the streetcar early in the ride. We were all relieved as they exited the streetcar. The friend of the Mohawk guy was getting some entertainment out of forcing the streetcar doors open. The act of doing this sets off an alarm and I think he got some high school jolly out of it. The sad thing is I don’t think the guy has seen the inside of a high school in quite a few years.

So the ride continued.

Is it so much to ask that people have a shower? One a day is all I am requesting; take at least one shower a day. I think if that was a law and we had “Sniff” police enforcing the Shower Law the streetcar ride would be that much easier to take. If you have to sit on top of me at least smell good. You could also put on some clean clothes. Put on something that has been laundered this year. The rule could be if it is brown and crusty, it’s not clean. Even if it is just brown and meant to be blue white or green, it’s not clean. These items should not be worn. These items should not be donated to Goodwill either. Toss them!

I was thrilled to see my stop approaching and even more grateful to see my car. My little red Toyota. How nice it is to have a PTV (Personal Transportation Vehicle). I just love it. I hope that I can continue to avoid PT and just ride along in my own space with the tunes blasting smelling my own stink.

Thougths and dreaming

I was lying in bed last night reading National Geographic. Topic: Chernobyl. It was fascinating and scary all at once. The original event, the chain reaction that caused the explosion is incredibly interesting. The science that explains the events that caused the explosion and the plume of radioactive waste. The impact on people and the earth, that is scary. The sudden increase in cancer and the evacuation of thousands of people. An entire area of high-rise apartment buildings now stands empty. Mother Nature is however, claiming her land back. I read most of the article and then drifted off to sleep. The article sparked an interesting disaster dream. I cannot recall the dream; the daylight has stolen it away from me. I do recall waking up and wondering what was going on. The disaster in my dream was very localized.

When the morning came and interpreted the rest of my slumber I immediately thought of Chernobyl. The eyrie pictures of long abandoned daycare centres and homes. The hopes and dreams that were once housed inside the now crumbling buildings. So many lives changed in one afternoon by one accident. The cynic inside me thinks of the minority among us, the rich and powerful, those that will do anything to keep their position did this. They allowed this accident, created it. Then of course left hundreds of thousands of people in the dark about it. Allowing their children to splash around in radioactive puddles. Radioactive puddles, is that something that is real? It seems unreal to me as I write it and think it.

I have also been reading about earthquakes, which is another fascinating topic. The movement of the Earth’s plates and the science that studies that movement. What our Scientists have learned and the vast amount of things they do not understand. Both topics are incredible, interesting and scary. However, I must say that the thought of radioactive puddles has stuck with me. Inside me some place there is a voice telling me to do something about it. Kids should not be playing in radioactive puddles unless they are characters on the Simpson's.... Chilling.

An email exchange

I received this e-mail the other day. Here is my repsonse to it. I was told I should blog it...

The email:

Ok -- well, I am ready to explode here today. I hate everyone today. I hate
this job. I hate it all. Thankless, I tell you... a bunch of thankless
bastards that I work with.... No matter how much is done -- still not enough
-- With this attitude, we should just all be working for Donald Trump - not
the health care industry!
Asssssssholes!

My Response:

Remember you are doing it all for the love of Gizmo; who is currently chewing on the giant cow bone. Everywhere you go you will find assholes. Even shift work has assholes. Do it for some other reason, self fulfillment not the approval or thanks of the losers that surround you. It's political, all human interaction is. Unlike dogs that bite you if you piss them off and love you back with no strings people are devious and dark and full of shit. Humans will berate you for all the little things you forgot or missed or the little mistakes you make. Humans will sneer and leer and talk shit behind your back. When you give a human a treat they will take advantage of you because you are soft or they think they can get more from you. A dog will wag it's tail and have love in its eyes for you even when you run out of treats. 3 days later when you remember to buy more treats the dog wont rag on you for the 3 days you forgot, it will love you and jump up and down that you brought more. Of course dogs bark a lot and pull and fight and stink. But hey so do Humans.
Gizmo might just have clean teeth by the end of the day. He is chewing like a mad man.
Poor Gizmo,
R

Tired

I have been so tired latley. I get a lot of sleep, maybe too much? I am busy with the business and with stressing out over it. I am also trying to think of ways to make it work. Work and work for me. I think I may hire a groomer and pay them a percentage of each groom they do. If I can get 6 dogs in here then it would pay off. I get stuck, however. I get stuck in the same place all the time. It's the "I do not know how" place. Oh so familar. So many things so little time. Little time because I like to sleep and sit on the couch!

So if the past repeats itself...

nothing is original. Based on the billions of people that have lived before there is nothing left for the billions that will follow (read comments under the previous post). All we are doing now is repeating ideas, with perhaps, some small difference. Does that make it original? I do not think I care right now. I am sleepy. I have been at work since 8am and now suddenly I am tired and want to go to sleep. Probably because I cannot figure out what I want to do. I cannot figure out a good way to live and feel fulfilled. A balance that would be bring comfort and more to the point contentment. How nice it would be to be content.

It's all been said...and done.

What more is there to say? I am afraid that there are no more original ideas left. Or maybe I am afraid that I do not have any, original ideas. It does seem, however, that everything has been done. Every song and movie is merely a repeat of some other song or movie. Same with books. Even this blog, think about how many other blogs have a similar entry to this one. What makes this different or unique? Nothing.