American Idol

Well Folks, I missed the show tonight. I got called into work last minute and then went for dinner. The AI site does have the performances online yet; hopefully I can catch them tomorrow before the boot show.

Last week I was on the edge of my seat. I could not believe that Allison was in the bottom 3. It should have been Matt. I do not look at their performance in isolation, I think you have to consider what the contestant has done throughout the competition. Therefore; Matt should have been back in the bottom 3. It all worked out in the end, with Anoop and Lil leaving the show.

Lil is a good singer, but there is something missing. I cannot put my finger on it. I just don’t get into her performances. I find myself wandering off to do the dishes. Anoop, well he was so hot and cold it was time for him to hit the bricks. Even though I have not seen the performances, I think the bottom 3 should be Matt; my beloved Allison and Kris. Of the three Matt should go.

I’ll watch the videos when I can and if I change my mind, I’ll let you know.

Tonight on American Idol

Who was up first? Give me a minute…oh right Lil Rounds, a totally forgettable performance. I got about 3 or 4 contestants down and thought who was first? Oh right…wait a minute who was it again?

Kris was great; I really do enjoy his singing. He makes a song his own and of course, he is easy on the eyes.

Danny was not on it tonight. I thought he was boring, although I would not put him in the bottom 3. I guess Disco is just not his thing.

Adam. Wow, what can you say? Nameless summed it up with “this is a competition for second place”. Adam is so far ahead of the pack that if he stopped and sat around for 2 weeks it would make no difference. The rest of them will never catch up.

Allison is just awesome. She can do no wrong. If I were 16 I would be all over her, if she said yes of course. She looked great, put on a good act and she always goes for it. Cara no one cares that Donna Summer won a Grammy for that song. What has that got to do with anything? Sum up Allison's performance and let us move on.

Matt, not bad tonight, much better actually. The scales are tipping between Matt and Danny tonight.

Anoop. I agree with Simon, Anoop just does not cut it. Nameless asked the question, what do the other judges hear? There is a clear bottom 3 and it is no different than last week. I must add here that I did like Anoop’s new look. However, it was a bad performance, he blew and I am left wondering who votes for him. Not many with all those bottom 3’s but he hasn’t been booted yet, perhaps Wednesday night?

Overall, I am glad all the judges are back. It makes a huge difference to hear them all, even though Randy and Cara don’t often say anything. Just lots of blah blah yadda yadda. Paula is not far behind, but I like her and she looked great tonight. Simon, is always bang on. He tells the truth and offers some credible feedback.

So, tonight’s bottom 3:

Musical interlude

This is a great song. Nellie has a great voice, so does James.

I must admit I also like Britney. Well, I like some of her songs. Circus is a pretty good one and so is If You Seek Amy. Apparently, this means you want to get fucked. I am not sure how "if you seek amy" translates into that but I was told that by someone in the know. Maybe someone can explain that to me.

Now lets see, what other songs can I put here for your musical pleasure.

Elton John. Tiny Dancer, what a great song. Most Elton songs are great. Here is another one, This Train Don't Stop There Anymore. This classic EJ and I love this song. Of course, I cannot mention EJ without having a link to Bennie and The Jets. Great retro video from Soul Train. This song is from the move Aloha Bobby and Rose. My sister Chana and I sat through it several times, we loved the movie and the song. We also sat through Death Race 2000 several times. I am not sure what this says about us but we don't care we will always have those two movies and that song.

Okay, a couple of final tunes I have to get to bed. This song is by Linkin Park. It is called In the End and it is true. This live version is not the greatest but it gives me hope; I think I could be a Rap Artist! Here's a tune you may not know. It is from a band called Chalk Circle. I liked them and I actually met the lead singer in a poetry class I took in the 80's or maybe it was the early 90's. Check it out, This Mourning. This last one is a romantic song, it plays to that side of me. I am really a hopeless romantic. Years ago I heard a song and watched the video and it was called Walk Away Joe. I loved the song and honestly I have no idea if this is the same song but it will do. Trisha Yearwood - Walk Away Joe.

I just watched this video again and it really is not romantic. I say we get a gang together and hunt Joe down. We can kick him around a bit before we get all mushy and sappy and forgive him and go through it all again. What sorry saps we are, well most of us anyway. It brings back the memory of my walk away Joe, the Bastard. They say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I say poppycock to that. I prefer the saying:

If you love something set it free; if it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it!

Enjoy the tunes and maybe be tell me one or two of your favourites.

American Idol...bad save

They used the save! What a waste. I would have held off until next week; next week is the critical week. They had the right bottom 3 this week, losing any one of them would not have hurt the competition. Next week the bottom 3 would have been a bit more difficult. My guess for next weeks bottom 3 would have been, Anoop, Lil and Kris. But let’s say it ended up being Danny? Danny would be a far better choice to save. In the end it may not matter because we may end up with the same bottom 3 as tonight. We will lose two of them and continue on. Poor use of the save, they may have well just used it on Scott.

I also think that Cara and Paula should at least pretend that are impartial. They are supposed to be judges and I think their antics influence voters. Randy and Simone play it cool while the woman sway and swoon. Pull it together! Having said that, I read and agree with an article arguing that the new arrangement in judging does not work. Simone is the only judge that has something valuable to say almost all the time. His assessments can make or break a competitor. The way it rolls now it works against the competitors that Simon does not judge and is even unfair. The better solution is to tell Cara, more so than Paula, to shut up. I have no doubt Ryan can handle that. I also support the bandwagon to ditch Cara. she lost my respect very early on and usually has nothing of value to offer.

This “boot” show is too long and boring. Last night I joined Skype and at least had the company of “Nameless” via videoconference. We both agreed that we could do without all the other acts. She switched over to Lost during the singsongs. I say cut the show to 30 minutes and get to the point. Do the Ford commercial, because I understand they need to generate revenue for the show and Ford! Then sit someone on the metal stool then do the big show tune number and then sit two more. One more commercial break and then cut the person lose and let us go to bed. That way I would be spared sitting through Myley’s tinny thin little sing along. What has any of this got to do with the picture of Kris? Well, if you have to ask why I would post a picture of Kris, you are either straight or blind!

Finally, I am not sure the save rule makes any difference. I thought I was there to save a competitor that was voted off for some unknown reason. Example, everyone figured they were safe so they did not bother to vote. That wont matter until the final 4 or 5 so having the save rule that is must be used before the bottom 5 made it redundant. This coming week will be interesting as 2 will be leaving. It should be some combination of last night’s bottom 3 but who knows….

People At Large

I was heading home after work and I saw this guy walking through the PATH. I attempted a picture so he could grace the pages of my Blog but I was not prepared. I captured this blurry image we I can now refer to as art.

Once I was outdoors I spotted this guy and thought he would make a great replacement for the first guy. I thought they both looked great from behind. The bald guy looked like a tough guy (I caught a glimpse of him) but who knows. Anyway, they both dress better than yesterdays Person at Large.

For one final picture I thought I would capture Adelaide Street looking eastbound at around 4:50pm. Funny thing is without my knowledge Nameless (you know my friend from the AI Recaps) and yet another friend of mine were on the other side of the street. They could be in this picture somewhere…

The Top 7

Wow, Adam can perform. That guy really takes it to another level. Consider Anoop’s performance and then consider what Adam did. No comparison. Adam is an example of making a song your own. He is also a great example of taking a risk and having some fun. Why play it safe? No reason. Adam will no doubt be in the top 3. What I cannot figure is why the other contestants haven’t caught on. They do the same old same old. How many singers sit at piano, it’s been done do not do it over unless you make the song your own. That is the key.

Kris is really very good. I liked his song. I think it is because he doesn’t try. He is just a great singer. Randy is off base. Although maybe for him it didn’t work, fair enough. Still, Kris made that song his and did it without waving it in your face. I still think either way, Kris will be safe because he is cute.
I also have to say that Lil blew it. Despite her attempt at the end there to recover her performance does not cut it. That song is a powerhouse of a song, which, I think, only Janis and Bette can perform, certainly not Lil.

Quentin Tarantino, I truly respect his ability to provide meaningful feedback to the competitors. Consider Randy Travis, a nice guy but all he kept saying was “wow you sang that really well, you are going to blow them away”. Now give me a hug. Well, thanks but it does not help. Telling someone they are great is nice and it is safe but it is also useless. Providing feedback based on your expertise is valuable, and it is why you are there, and Quentin offered his feedback without hesitation or apology. Good for him. Had Anopp taken his advice, his performance would have been far superior. As a footnote, Quentin seems embarrassed to be on camera.

Picking the bottom 3 is getting a bit tougher…but here it is:

Pants or Sacks?

What's with this guy's pants?

In this picture you cannot appreciate the sagging ass low riders that these pants are. I do not get it. I must be getting old, however, I say that and I don't mean it. I could never wear my pants down around my ankles, I would have serious crotch burn!

As with the first picture this one shows the turned up cuff. Is this cool now because back in the day someone would have hit this guy. Not that that is a good thing, it's not really. I understand clothing "faux pas" abuse first hand. My Mom made me an outfit and, unknown to her, against my will I wore it to school. I think just for her, I did for her. I was called Pajama Kid within 5 seconds of hitting the play ground. I was hurt and wounded and wanted to defend my Mother's attempt at making me clothing. I didn't I just never wore it again. I wonder what my Mom thought...God love her.

Okay, final picture. I like this shot because it looks like he is going to pick his bum (or he just did). It also gives a better idea of how low his pants are. Plus you can see that both cuffs are turned up, so it is no accident.

My final thought on this it, wow what kind of day did I have that I was taking pictures of some guy in pants! It's fun though. I tried to get a look at his face to gage his age, but he went North on University and I kept heading West.

Ideas

What a day. I am now at home sitting at my computer and up to this moment I was wasting some time. I am waiting to leave for the airport; I am picking up a friend that is flying in from Vancouver. I attempted to download Microsoft’s Virtual Earth but for some reason the download failed. So, I cannot mess around online looking at the world from a million different angles. What next?

I was thinking back to some ideas I have had. Some of the ideas are my own some are generated with friends. Ideas are great things and I have been told that I have great ones, however I do not follow through with them. Right, well some of them I don’t want to follow through on.

A while back a friend and I were going to launch a website called, if I recall correctly, 101011. It was going to be about the end of life as we know it. One of those doomsday prophesies. We wanted to see if we could generate a following and at the time I think we came up with some funny ideas for the site. We also want to make money so we were going to sell T-shirts. Everyone wants a doomsday T-shirt. The idea died as we continued on in our routine daily lives.

Today I experience the rebirth (pun intended) of having children. An idea I had when I was 19 and then again an idea yet another friend of mine and I explored. It came up today when my friend whose womb is pulsating (I have an amazing array of awesome friends) told me she was looking into the cost of In Vitro Fertilization. I offered to be the sperm donor. I was and am serious. I think it would be great to have children and I think my biological clock is telling me to get my genes out there; time is ticking for me too! I have some deep notion to keep my Father’s name going, our line. I am not sure where that comes from, having such a basic almost primal desire to keep it alive. It does, however, cross my mind that if I do not I represent an end of sorts. I imagine that line on the family tree coming flowing from my parents to me but not past me, nobody to carry on for me. No immortality for me. I also have this idea that a child, or children, would give me the reason I need to be fully me and to realize all my dreams.

I have lots of other ideas that really do not matter. They cannot matter until they are acted upon. Ideas are really meaningless until someone pulls them together and creates a result. I like I have an idea for a clothing line and an idea for a line of “bling” for dogs. But, who cares? No one. It is after all just an idea. I also have an idea for a novel but it never materializes because I also have the idea that I cannot write, a novel. It occurs to me that Ideas can be wonderful things that create library systems for a continent or destructive things that prevent you from taking the step. How interesting. That actually gives me an idea….

How the LA times sees it

I just stumbled onto this article. Scott is seriously disabled? I have a friend that would argue that.

The journey of the Scottsdale, Ariz., native was one of the most heartwarming spectacles of “Idol’s” eight seasons. A gentle, perpetually smiling 22-year-old, MacIntyre made his time on the show notable for his good humor and a sense that despair was unknown to him, even as he struggled to perform in his final weeks.

I don’t get this, I really don’t. He was an average singer and although he was having fun and it showed, so what? The other Top Ten are doing the same thing – ok except for Megan that had some kind of ego explosion. I appreciate in the face of being blind he is forging forward but what he is doing does not strike me as a huge overwhelming incredible achievement. No more so than the other contestants and what about the one that lost his wife (was it Danny or Matt?) weeks before he auditioned? That seems to have faded into the background.

The first comment on the piece sums it up almost perfectly.

It's sad, but he wasn't good enough. End of story.

Almost, because I do not think it is sad.

I must be feeling bitchy...

I missed Tuesday nights show. I know, how could I miss it? Let’s just say I had a friend in need and that overrides TV. Even AI!

The elimination show tonight, my immediate reaction. The 8 of them singing together – terrible! It gained some strength as it went along, but man oh man if it wasn’t for my Allison and Adam “The Screecher” Lambert it would have been a total wash.

They sucked in the Ford commercial, ‘nuff said there.

The bottom 3 tonight was bang on. I think the huge debate about saving Scott was an effort to make him feel better about getting the boot. Compared to those who are left standing there is no way the save can be used at this point. Frankly, I would have lost respect for the judges if they had used it. Scott is an okay singer. I would listen to him in a bar but would I pay big and watch him at the ACC, nope. I imagine his career will be in writing music not so much performing. I also think whoever is responsible for “styling” him should be fired. That hairdo is all wrong. A friend of mine read, or is at least quoting, another Blog that said “Scott’s hair is reminiscent of the Golden Girls”. True, very true.

To wrap up this AI recap I have to wonder what is going on in Paula’s pretty little head. Gloves? I love you Paula, don’t ever do the glove thing again. Flo Rida was excellent. Great performance, the total package there. Kelly Pick what who?

Another one bites the dust. So, America voted and it paid off. Megan Joy is gone. Not as in dead just as in gone. Buh bye! I have to say I think she earned it. Her ego grew much faster than her singing voice. “I loved my song and I know my fans did too”. Who the hell is she? “I love Simon but I don’t care”. Yeah right, so why the tears? My nameless friend who I will refer to only as Nameless had this to say.

“Megan Joy. Her bad singing voice, bad attitude, bad 80's jumper are gonzola!!”

Simon kind of hit the nail on the head when he served her words back to her. We don’t care either my dear, it’s over for you. Her last song was terrible and what’s with those dance moves? What dance academy did she attend, the Elaine Benis School of Dance?

I did have some stress tonight watching the bottom 3. My Allison was in it! What’s that all about? It is not American Fashion Idol, so what about her choice of dress. She can sing. She out sings both Anoop and Scott. The next couple of weeks are a no brainer. Scott goes and then Anoop goes or the other way around works for me too. There is no way they can make up all the lousy songs they have sung. The rest of the gang simply have not blown it enough to leave before those two.

Allison above, is saying "Hey Roy, I don't get it either, me in the bottom 3? It makes no sense." And, she is correct. It makes no sense.

Now I must ask, what is up with Lady Gaga? Not only did she look into the camera, (was she taking pointers from Adam backstage???) but also, she sucked. I like that song on the radio and on Youtube but hearing it live made me scrunch up into a little ball and beg to be released from the pain. I’ll be happy to miss her concert tour.

I can rest now for another week knowing that the gang is intact. The righteous voted, the Gods came together and Simon called it yet again. Paula looked fabulous tonight which is a switch for her. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but if anyone needs a fashion overhaul it is her. In closing I will pass along something else Nameless had to say. “Adam needs to brush his tongue! That is just gross. If you are going to stick out your tongue you should brush it off!” I must admit I agree.

Footnote: I should actually have said; Nameless you called it again! Nameless did, on Tuesday in an e-mail.

Detroit

A friend of mine sent me this link. It is good to see that there are some creative people out there. When you set your mind to it, and stop making excuses great things can happen. I know, shut up.

Artisits sought to rebuild

Artist Gina Reichert and designer Mitch Cope bought a foreclosed home and turned it into both an experiment in operating off the power grid and a centre to link artists and the local community (CBC)

Above: Adam, Allison and Kris

I became a watcher of American Idol this season. It happened without my consent, but here it is the truth. I watch the show every week. I have a couple of friends that watch it as well, however, they will remain nameless. Some of us need to keep our dignity intact. This week, well lets just say the bad smell finally went away although it took a bit of breath holding and faith to get there. Anoop stunk, so did Megan and honey I am not sure you have fans. I think this little singing competition has gone to her head!

I think Danny, Kris and Adam stole the show. I would keep Matt around but, really, he needs to listen to the judges and get back on track. And because the judges wont say it I will. Scott needs to go home. He is not Idol material and he never was. I have a friend that has every right to say it and I agree with her. He got on the show because he is blind and because he is blind no one is honest with him. He would be great in a piano bar but I don’t see singing stardom in his future. I also thought telling him the 80’s do looked great was simply cruel.

I must say that Adam is interesting and I agreed with Kara. I also watch the show to see what he is going to do next. However, my Idol watching friend and I both agree that we could not sit through an all Adam concert. I could take maybe three songs of him screeching at me then I am going home! This guy also needs to stop watching the camera. Make love to something else, watch the audience, stare at your hand, anything, just stop looking in the camera!

To wrap this up, I thought Kris had a killer performance and I really enjoy Allison. What a great singer, not the greatest performance tonight but wow, 16 and all that! I guess that just leaves Lil. Too bad for you tonight, I like her voice but it was old and dull. She needs to step up.

Although I do not vote, for sure and without a doubt the bottom 3 are, Anoop, Megan and Scott. I think of those 3 Anoop should hit the road. Actually I say that because I think he let me down. I liked him and he so hot and cold, he cannot seem to pull it together. Really, it would be a toss up between the great yawn Megan and the smoky piano bar Scott. I am going to say good-bye Megan. Well, come guys I can’t say Scott, he is blind!

Detroit's Decline

I recently viewed these pictures on the Time Magazine website. It is a photo essay of the decline of Detroit. I was shocked at the obvious neglect of the structures in the downtown core of the City. I wonder, where is the leadership in this City? How irresponsible to allow the place to rot and become unlivable. I also wonder what the citizens of the City are thinking. Have they attempted to do something constructive about this situation? Maybe I am being simplistic but it seems to me that if they got together and demanded change, change would come. The pictures tell a story of what a lack of leadership combined with a lack of caring can do to a community. The picture above is William Livingstone House. The preservation society moved the house in an attempt to save it. Unfortunately, the house had to be demolished. They lost a part of Detroit's history. The upside is, apparently I am mistaken, and there is a group of people that care about what is going on.


The picture, below top, is a room at the Lee Palace Hotel. One of Detroit's finest. It was closed in the early 1990's. Furniture and appliances were left in the rooms to rot. I think that is a crime. Why not remove all the workable usable things and donate or sell them off?






To the bottom of the Lee Palace Hotel room is the Wilbur Wright School. It closed in 2005 and this is how they left it. What an outrage that City and School officials allowed this to happen.



Finally, this is the United Artists Theater. It was built in 1928 and closed in the 1970's. It too was left to rot. How sad to lose such a grand piece of architecture and history.

What a huge challenge it would be to turn this all around. It is possible however, it will take strong leadership and someone to reengage the community. Until then I guess it will all continue to rot. To view the entire photo essay check out Time and to view more work from the Photographers check out Yves Marchand and Roman Meffre's site.

Noticing

Somewhere along the way my thinking got lazy. I joined the status quo and started accepting everything at face value. I noticed today that people do some amazing things and that accepting life for what it appears to be is fatal, a form of living dead. I think what prompted this thought was seeing a guy on a skateboard with a camera system. As he moved the camera remained stationary allowing him to film the movement around him without adding to it. Ingenious.

Then across the busy street I notice a performer lying on the ground bouncing a ball on his feet. That is a unique way of making a living! The rest of us walk past him, maybe cast a glance or toss a coin, but we keep our pace. The pace of our lives must not be interrupted. I suddenly wish I had my camera to capture some of these moments. Beside me, arranging herself in the sun is a woman in pink; a cigarette and a pink laptop are the props of her life. Then a child gives into her fear of being left alone and chases after her Mother with both her feet and her voice. Then a young man gives away his station and lack of respect when he leans over and spits on the sidewalk. As he walks way I notice his un-tucked shirt hanging out from under his jacket.

I think most of walk with the gait of acceptance. We cannot change or impact the things around us. As we move through the space we want to, for the most part, go unnoticed. We certainly do not want to have attention drawn to us as the crazy man yells out his threats of damnation. We duck and swerve to ensure we are at a safe distance. In the mall, as in our lives, we select things that are made for the masses. We avoid our individuality, not wanting to flirt with the danger. We wear our garments like our thoughts. We place them on so we will fit in and be accepted.

But like I said earlier I noticed that some people are doing amazing things. They walk on the outside of the branding. They forge their own experiences without concern. They thrive on being left behind. They look for the ones among us that have something different to say and they consider it. I wonder if they have a secret code. Like gay men had with handkerchiefs; they have some way of spotting another of their kind. I think they do. I think it is through a look in the eye or a carefully crafted question that they recognize one and other. They connect silently across the tops of the masses and agree to meet and share. I think that and I know this because Starbucks and Second Cup are always full.

Dying Green Love One Month Later

It has been one month since the great Starbucks betrayal. I have missed my drink and dropping into the various Starbucks locations. There is a void there, a bit of an empty space. I had a lot of laughs with the partners in those stores. The drink on the other hand, I do not miss that much. Once or twice I wanted one, the fleeting memory of enjoying a Chai. I must say that for the most part I am glad to be done with the habit, the addiction.

I am also thrilled with the financial savings. $143.84 over the 31 one days I have not had one. That amount only accounts for the Chai, not any cookies or pastries I would sometimes buy to go with it. I am also happy to have the freedom. Not needing to find a Starbucks to get a drink. And before you start rolling your eyes I hope that you can say you have not and never have had an addiction. I get that Chai might seem like an odd addiction but then I bet you are in Tim’s or brewing yourself a pot of coffee every morning. Now that the Chai is gone I am addiction free. Can you say the same thing?
Ok, if you can then roll your eyes cause I get it, this is a kind of eye rolling issue.

I have considered sending Starbucks a thank you e-mail. Look at all the money they have saved me. In this economy that is a huge favour. I still hope they recover however, as I own stock. So, get thee to a Starbucks and buy something to make up for their $143.84 short fall!

My Dying Green Love

Starbucks and I have broken up. I know it is hard to believe. After 8 years and just prior to Valentines Day one of my longest running love affairs is coming to a close. I am crest fallen and feel sad and lost. I wonder how they could have changed the soymilk without asking me. How could they do that? My Grande Soy no water no foam Tazo Chai Latte now tastes like vanilla syrup instead of Chai tea.

Over the past few days I have had to hunt for the final few stores that are still using Silk soymilk. The number of options is running out. It took me 3 stops today and the one location I thought would get me through the weekend will be out tomorrow if not tonight. I have now ruled out 5 maybe 6 locations. I am truly hoping that I will be able to get one last Chai tomorrow. After that I do not know what I am going to do. Is there a Centre for Starbucks Chai addicts to go detox?

I feel a bit of trepidation about all of this. I am losing the one thing I have taken comfort in for the past 8 years. I also think my identity has some how mingled with Starbucks. I worked for them for a year and all my friends buy me Starbucks cards as gifts. Not to mention that my hand has taken on the shape of the Starbucks Grande cup. I even have my own reusable cloth sleeve! I hang out in at least 4 different locations and know Barista’s at 8 or more. I own stock as well, yes the Starbucks stock that has taken a nosedive (35 bucks down to around $9.50), but I held on.

I wonder what I am going to do with my time. I feel a sense of fear when I wonder what I will be doing. There is a fancy new location opening up one block from my home and now I have no reason to go in there! Inside that fear there is also a sense of hope. I am interested, not excited just interested, in what new experiences await me. Where I may find myself now that I will be free of Starbucks. What new things will happen as my hand loses that Grande shape and the green hue fades from my skin? Maybe I will get a date? Maybe.

I just ran some numbers. 365 days per year over 8 years is 2920 days. The average cost of my Latte is $4.88. That little number multiplied by 2920 is 14249.60. Which in currency is $14,294.60! Wow, 8 years from now I can go on a nice trip or something! Also, there is 36 grams of sugar in one Grande Soy no water no foam Tazo Chai Latte. Using the same numbers that is 105120 – 105120 grams of sugar that I have consumed over the past 8 years. How is it that I am not diabetic? I must admit I am looking forward to not having 36 grams of sugar a day, in a drink!

Still, my lover is gone. When I think back over the years I have so many memories. If this were a video flashback there would be scenes of me running, my hair blowing in the wind with a Chai in hand; me throwing my head back in laughter with a Chai in hand; sitting with friends deep in conversation with my Chai in front me, hands wrapped lovingly around it. The camera would pan around and you would see me laughing with all the Barista’s and sharing heart felt moments, like getting an oatmeal raisin cookie with my Chai or better still ordering a Venti. The music would reflect the love of all these scenes.

Then as the video montage came to a close you would see the evil backstabbing Starbucks Empire betraying me. In their fancy upscale boardroom, the Execs putting the final touches on their evil plan to pull the soy out from under me. You would hear that familiar evil laughter as their plan came to fruition (I can just see all the Execs in Seattle with their pinkie fingers in their mouths). The laughter would intensify as the new organic environmentally friendly packaged soymilk that tastes like vanilla syrup hits the stores. It would reverberate around me and as the camera started to spin and fly into the air you would be left with the visual of me, my head in my hands, broken Starbucks cups all around me and my torn cloth sleeve hanging from my finger tips. I would be crying and screaming why! Whhhhhhyyyyyy, as I fall to my knees! All those crazy Starbucks Execs would laugh even more and turn their backs, leaving me on the street standing in the cold, discarded like a pile of used coffee grinds. Whhhhyyyyyy!!!!


Postscript: If any of you know a detox Centre for caffeine and sugar withdrawal, please let me know. I am in for one serious crash!

The Last 15

I was wondering what would I write about if I only had this one opportunity. If, once this is written, I may never write again. What would I put to paper for an eternity. The answer may surprise you all. The answer is, I have no fucking idea! I mean really who the hell would? Of course, you could write some mumbo jumbo life is wonderful crapolla and I have no doubt that lots of other people could come up with some amazing insights to share; I, however have none.

I really just want to get up and walk the dog around the block. Actually that is a lie. What I really want to do is go to Metro and get one of the best damn brownies around. They make them without nuts and drown it in icing. Along with that brownie I want a tub of Ben and Jerry’s brownie ice cream. I love that stuff and the two together, well, that’s worth the heart attack. Pretty much every night I love to indulge into my desire for junk food. I think most of my life has become sex and junk food. What else is there?

Okay, so lets consider that. What else is there to do other than cruise for sex and eat brownies and ice cream? I have 5 people that call me Uncle. Well, I have 9 actually. I am blood Uncle to 5 of them. Oh, I just thought of two more that refer to me as Uncle, so that makes 11. I wonder what they would think if they read this, my final piece of writing and all they got out of it was an amazing recipe for chocolate brownie ice cream goodness. What would they think? I do not know.

I also have two people that call me brother and I would like to think that that number is actually three (maybe 4). I have one living parent and a stepparent that is also alive. I have someone I call Uncle and a person I call Aunt. I should also include the group of people that refer to me as cousin. Off the top of my head that number is 5. I have a dog and roommate, which seems odd to mention in the same sentence. The roommate helped me bring the dog into our lives so perhaps it does make sense. I also have a bunch of friends and co-workers and assorted acquaintances. So what?

So, I am not really sure. I do know that in one way or another all those people have a label for me. I suppose I am thinking that that alone should give me some great insight and inspiration to write something that has depth and meaning, that these relationships would give me the strength and courage to move beyond the chocolate. In the end, I am afraid, that it does not because I find myself sitting here thinking that once I have this is out of the way, once I have hit on that great one liner, I will head off to the store. I will finally be able to get what I truly want, my reward for doing my 15 plus minutes and completing this challenge.

I also wonder why all these people I know, well more so the ones that refer to me as brother, Uncle or cousin work independently of me. Actually, in the interest of truth I think it is just the ones that refer to me as brother. Why are they separate? Why do they not see the place I am in and get in here and help me out of it? How come I am always facing the ticking hollow minutes alone? Why is this room so damn cold? I wonder if they are over there thinking the same thing of the person that refers to them as sister. I cannot save the fucking Universe and I cannot save them either. I am the youngest after all and I should not have too.

I said today that it is so easy to see the other person’s exit. You know what I mean? When you are listening to someone’s problems and you are thinking, Jesus Christ just walk out that fucking door. It is right there in front of your face, just turn the knob and push! But, when it comes to your own problems a raging fire has blocked the door and the fear you feel approaching it ties your stomach into knots and is enough to make you drop where you stand. Your panic stricken body shakes and there is sweat running down your face. You want out so damn bad but there is no way in hell you can reach for your salvation.

In that moment you realize that your exit is clear to the poor soul you are dumping on right now. They can see it right there, so plainly, it drives them nuts that you wont take the opportunity that is right before you. They want to shake you and kick your whining crybaby ass; they want to drag your stupid fucked up self to the top of some building and toss you over. But, they don’t. And they don’t because they know that that would be a crime and they would spend a lot of time in jail, despite the rather justifiable explanation.

When I said that today, about the clear exit, I felt compassion for one of the people that refers to me as brother. I understood the fear that has them trapped inside the life they have chosen. When I look really closely around the life I am trapped in I see them in the shadows. I actually see lots of others in here with me. Oh so many of us stumbling around looking for the exit. I can also see, very clearly, all the exits in front of them, but I cannot, however, see my own.

Todays Fifteen

Todays post is based on an encouonter I had earleir this afternoon. It did not take 15 minutes to write. However, adding in this part and then getting it posted took at least that long. I am hopeful that since the idea is to write everyday I will not lose the challenge based on a few minutes here and there. In actual overall time today, I have spent more than 15 minutes writing. I wrote in my new journal and I wrote this piece. I think it all adds up and counts!

_________________________________________________________

The Super Hero Beagle

I was walking the dog today. From time to time people comment on my dog and I usually just say thank you and keep on moving. However, every now and again more of my attention is required, unless I want to be an ass and ignore the other person. Example, this afternoon a woman stopped and began talking to me about her dog. She had a beagle and according to the story she told this Beagle was a super hero. Her dog’s super power was smelling!

The woman related a story that went something like this. While living in Ingersoll she took her Beagle to the park. The Beagle was able to smell bones that were buried 10 to 12 feet under ground. This, of course, is remarkable enough but the story gets even better. One day, when she was not looking, her Beagle began to dig. Much to her surprise the dog showed up with bones! I have no idea how she knew the bones were 12 feet deep, I imagine she went over and checked out the hole her dog had dug.

Having discovered the deep pit of bones she did what any good dog owner does. She called the police. I did not find out what the bones were or what the police did about that, it seemed secondary to the rest of the tale. Based on the super smelling senses her dog had the police took the dog in for “smell testing”. Of course, the Beagle passed with flying colours. Which is no surprise after finding bones buried 12 feet deep.

After evaluating the dog’s sense of smell the dog was offered a job as a drug “sniffer”. The woman, however, did not want her dog to be working every day so she turned down the job on the dog’s behalf. In the cold light of hindsight this poor woman told me she regretted her decision. "All dogs should have a job", she said "they like to work". We ruminated on that for a moment and then I said, “well, you loved your dog and that’s really what mattered”. She agreed. We smiled and bid each other a farewell and we went on about our days.

What a great moment in downtown dog walking. Had I not been in a hurry to get to work, I may have asked her what the bones were, animal or human. I would also certainly of asked her how long it took to fill the hole in!

In 15 Minutes a Day

I am posting this unedited...just becasue I want too. Enjoy it.

_________________________________________________________

I am supposed to write for 15 minutes each day and I find myself putting it off. This is the first attempt at writing for 15 minutes. I actually need to write for one full hour to make up for the fact that I have not written anything in the past 3 days. When this challenge was put before me I accepted it. Of course I work at avoiding the actually doing of it. When I sat down today I was going to continue working on a piece I started last week. It took me some fancy computer work to actually find the document. When I did discover it I re-read it and now I am not really all the inspired to continue with it. That does not surprise me. It is the way I go with writing. I want the outcome, a great article or novel, but I avoid the work involved in creating it.

I have considered writing short stories, articles, harlequins and, of course, the great Canadian novel. To date I have not done any of that. I do have a Blog and I, from time to time, write things for that. I am not consistent and that makes for a boring lean Blog. Regardless, I think a lot of writing. I often have, what I think, are excellent stories in my head. I develop them while I walk my dog or while I am walking to work. I rarely write because I can avoid that. I surf the Internet. I eat, I watch TV I go for a walk or someone calls and saves me from the agony of sitting down and banging away on my computer keyboard.

Sometimes I write crazy e-mails to my friends. I go on and on and find that easy to do. Once I am in the groove I can come up with something that, based on the feedback, is pretty damn good. Many of my friends think I should be writing. But what would I write about? I mean who the hell wants to read this? I try to come up with ideas for articles, but who would want to buy an article from me? I have nothing really to offer in that regard. There are far better writers than I. I also struggle with my inner ambivalence. That feeling that says so clearly, who gives a shit? Why bother what the hell is the point? That can take the wind out of my sail long before my ship is moving. So, I do not act on the idea of writing.

Why do I want to write? I am not sure. I can only say that I have always wanted to be a writer, to make money for putting words onto paper. I want to be creative and allow that inner energy I have to flow out of me. I love creative pursuits, writing, painting or art of some kind and music. I have a piano, well a Yamaha keyboard and a saxophone. I do not touch either of them. They sit and collect dust while I live the fantasy. That is what this writing for 15 minutes a day is born from. The idea that if I do it I can move from living the fantasy to acting on the desire and actually creating something. I suppose if I act on my desires I would move from being ambivalent and often depressed to being alive and happy. Action is a powerful thing.

I was just struck, for some reason, with the thought of the gym. There is another thing that I actively avoid. For a time, albeit a brief time, I went to the gym at least 4 times a week. I held that for 8 months and I felt great. I was getting results and had tons of energy. I feel off the gym wagon when I took a trip to Halifax. I went away and never went back to the gym. I often wonder why. I was so committed to it; I scheduled my life around it. I am told that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. That may be true but apparently it takes only a day to lose it. Well, maybe it takes a trip away to lose it.
Well, there is the first 15-minute segment taken care of. It is now 4:17 and I just did a little sidebar to surf the net. I need to stay focused until 5pm and then I can move onto something else, maybe the saxophone. I often think I want an active full life but I must not truly want that. I spend a great deal of time sitting around thinking about what I would like to be doing. In some cases I am truly stuck, unsure. I would love to go to Africa or a place like that and help. Either help the people or the animals, probably the animals. Work with some organization that helps protect the dying wild life. Or, work with people in some far off part of the world that need help building schools or learning English of something. I do not feel qualified to help.

I was talking the other day about my fantasy list. This is the list of things that I would love to do but never act on. Like writing. Some of the items on my list I avoid out of fear. Some unknown thing that might happen if I pursue it. Like if I take off to Africa, how and what would I eat? I am very particular about my food. It is easy to list the things I like than the many things I do not like. Of course, I could eat it is an excuse or like I said a fear. Fear is irrational and is something that prevents us from moving forward. Having said that I grant you that it can also save our lives. We have the fear response for a reason. I suppose the trick is to figure out when it is deceiving us and when it is not.

It just occurred to me that I am a true Gemini. On the outside I am so easy going, carefree and full of good humour. As I become aware of what I am writing I realize how serious and uptight I am on the inside. I rarely pursuer what matters to me, what I think is important. I paint my self into corners all the time and then do trivial things to meet the basics of life. I have never planned out anything in my life so is it any wonder that I have never realized my plans! Okay, well moving right along lets take a look at that list:

1. Work in a developing country with the people and animals to help them have a better life.
2. Practise and develop my musical ability.
3. Write.
4. Be a life coach.
5. Be creative everyday, paint, draw etc.
6. Travel the world and experience different cultures and meet new people.

There is the list. I doubt that list is complete and it is not in any particular order. I do wonder how I can work on, say number 2, while living number 1. I do not image that I could develop my musical talent while living in some developing country and helping people that are sick or escaping war. It would be great to help children. So many are abused and forgotten, such lofty ideals I have.

Segment 2 complete, 30 minutes to go. I just thought about the conversations I was having with a friend or two about pursing your personal strengths. This is the great idea that we need not focus on our weakness. Our weaknesses are irrelevant. If you are not good at organizing then don’t get a job doing it. And if your Boss is harping on the state of your desk help him to focus on your results. Maybe you sell the most widgets and he is always telling you need to clean up. Tell him it’s not your strength and if he really wants your office all tidy he should first consider your results. If your Boss cannot drop the trivial and focus on your results than take your skills elsewhere. Okay, that is not really a good example of what I am talking about here. The idea is just that you would focus on what you are good at and run with that. Employers always ask what your weaknesses are. The answer really is, well future employer no need to worry about what my weaknesses might be, I am great at selling widgets, that’s what you need and that is what I will do. So, if I am not a great singer or not particularly good at picking decorator colours what difference does it make? I am sure you get the idea.

I love the idea of being results oriented. Author Timothy Ferris takes that to new heights. Results oriented means that I evaluate my performance based on results. It means shifting our focus away from how many hours you spend at the office or doing whatever it is you are doing. The person that puts in the most hours is often the one with the least results. So, if you can sell tons of widgets and still get in a golf game what difference does that make to the employer? Well, it should not make any difference. If you were making me a million bucks a year but you are able to do it in half the time the rest of the group does it, then go play golf. I can hear the objections from all of you caught up in the status quo paradigm but I am getting sore typing about this and I am not going to further discuss the idea. Just get results focused and see what happens.

Wow, it is now 4:41 and I am 4 minutes away from completing segment 3. And 19, not 18 minutes away from completing segment 4. Clearly I do not need any particular idea to bang off some writing. I can just bang off the random thoughts in my head and fill up a few pages. This is like going to the gym or practising. If you just go its done and time has past but you have something to show for it. Then when you head out one night for some fun, you see the results. Or you hit the stage and again you see the results. So what results are you getting life?

I am briefly stumped. I have no idea what to write next. I feel like this topic, as most of my topics are, dry and old. I do not want to go on and on about the same old same old. I am, however, going to post this on my Blog. I will then post the other 15-minute writings that occur this week. The review day for this challenge is Thursday. I am not sure what will come of all this so we will see. I wonder if each entry will just be some not so exciting insight into my inner self-talk. I am working on a story, which, I think I mentioned. Maybe I can wear myself out with me own blah blah blah stuff and then move onto…wait a minute here is a topic, burgers!

There is a new burger joint which is about to open up on Temperance Street. It is called Original Motorcycle. I am not sure what the connection is to burgers but the menu offers steak burgers. Sides include fries, sweet potatoes fries and onion rings. If you get a combo it is $13.95. I gleaned that today by reading the menu through the locked front doors. I hope it opens up soon because I enjoy getting a good burger on Saturday night and then watching COPS while I eat. Fun times.

Another great thing in the area is that a new Starbucks is opening. We need that for sure. There are only 9 that I can think of within a short walk from where I live. A nice balanced 10 is far better. This new location is one block from my place. It is looking like a great location with a fabulous outdoor patio. This summer is going to be a good year for sitting at Starbucks! I hope it is a good year for Starbucks overall. I have some stock and it has dropped from 35 bucks to 9 bucks. I have no intention of selling them, but I would rather the 35 buck share price than the 9 dollar share price. Given time I am sure they will bounce back. I really have no idea if they will bounce back we are talking about 5 dollar coffee and how long can that last?

Which brings me to Tim Horton’s. I wet into the Tim’s at Spadina and Bloor, what a mess. The customers in that place looked like they had fallen into the street rolled around and then dragged themselves in for a coffee. There were one or two exceptions, but the snob in me rushed out hoping never to have to go back there. I might have to scrounge change to buy a bagel but I still shower. That is an entirely new line of fodder and this novel is coming to a close. Maybe next time I will write about my inner snob. He is there and very much alive. I like him because without him I truly would have no standards!

The time is fast approaching 5pm. I can say that I sat here and wrote. I can say that I made up the time for the past 3 days and put in my time today. I can plan to do this tomorrow because I realize that 15 minutes of writing is really not that tiresome at all. It is rather easy. I have written 2341 words. That count does not include the word “words”. According to Stephen King and his book On Writing one great way to get into writing it so write at least 1000 words per day. I have accomplished both of those goals today, 15 minutes and 1000 words. I do think that doing it everyday makes a difference. I am going to work at not accumulating the time and then banging it off in one sitting. Writing everyday is about making it part of what I do so I can develop the skill and maybe sell some work. How great would that be