I was wondering what would I write about if I only had this one opportunity. If, once this is written, I may never write again. What would I put to paper for an eternity. The answer may surprise you all. The answer is, I have no fucking idea! I mean really who the hell would? Of course, you could write some mumbo jumbo life is wonderful crapolla and I have no doubt that lots of other people could come up with some amazing insights to share; I, however have none.
I really just want to get up and walk the dog around the block. Actually that is a lie. What I really want to do is go to Metro and get one of the best damn brownies around. They make them without nuts and drown it in icing. Along with that brownie I want a tub of Ben and Jerry’s brownie ice cream. I love that stuff and the two together, well, that’s worth the heart attack. Pretty much every night I love to indulge into my desire for junk food. I think most of my life has become sex and junk food. What else is there?
Okay, so lets consider that. What else is there to do other than cruise for sex and eat brownies and ice cream? I have 5 people that call me Uncle. Well, I have 9 actually. I am blood Uncle to 5 of them. Oh, I just thought of two more that refer to me as Uncle, so that makes 11. I wonder what they would think if they read this, my final piece of writing and all they got out of it was an amazing recipe for chocolate brownie ice cream goodness. What would they think? I do not know.
I also have two people that call me brother and I would like to think that that number is actually three (maybe 4). I have one living parent and a stepparent that is also alive. I have someone I call Uncle and a person I call Aunt. I should also include the group of people that refer to me as cousin. Off the top of my head that number is 5. I have a dog and roommate, which seems odd to mention in the same sentence. The roommate helped me bring the dog into our lives so perhaps it does make sense. I also have a bunch of friends and co-workers and assorted acquaintances. So what?
So, I am not really sure. I do know that in one way or another all those people have a label for me. I suppose I am thinking that that alone should give me some great insight and inspiration to write something that has depth and meaning, that these relationships would give me the strength and courage to move beyond the chocolate. In the end, I am afraid, that it does not because I find myself sitting here thinking that once I have this is out of the way, once I have hit on that great one liner, I will head off to the store. I will finally be able to get what I truly want, my reward for doing my 15 plus minutes and completing this challenge.
I also wonder why all these people I know, well more so the ones that refer to me as brother, Uncle or cousin work independently of me. Actually, in the interest of truth I think it is just the ones that refer to me as brother. Why are they separate? Why do they not see the place I am in and get in here and help me out of it? How come I am always facing the ticking hollow minutes alone? Why is this room so damn cold? I wonder if they are over there thinking the same thing of the person that refers to them as sister. I cannot save the fucking Universe and I cannot save them either. I am the youngest after all and I should not have too.
I said today that it is so easy to see the other person’s exit. You know what I mean? When you are listening to someone’s problems and you are thinking, Jesus Christ just walk out that fucking door. It is right there in front of your face, just turn the knob and push! But, when it comes to your own problems a raging fire has blocked the door and the fear you feel approaching it ties your stomach into knots and is enough to make you drop where you stand. Your panic stricken body shakes and there is sweat running down your face. You want out so damn bad but there is no way in hell you can reach for your salvation.
In that moment you realize that your exit is clear to the poor soul you are dumping on right now. They can see it right there, so plainly, it drives them nuts that you wont take the opportunity that is right before you. They want to shake you and kick your whining crybaby ass; they want to drag your stupid fucked up self to the top of some building and toss you over. But, they don’t. And they don’t because they know that that would be a crime and they would spend a lot of time in jail, despite the rather justifiable explanation.
When I said that today, about the clear exit, I felt compassion for one of the people that refers to me as brother. I understood the fear that has them trapped inside the life they have chosen. When I look really closely around the life I am trapped in I see them in the shadows. I actually see lots of others in here with me. Oh so many of us stumbling around looking for the exit. I can also see, very clearly, all the exits in front of them, but I cannot, however, see my own.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Todays Fifteen
Todays post is based on an encouonter I had earleir this afternoon. It did not take 15 minutes to write. However, adding in this part and then getting it posted took at least that long. I am hopeful that since the idea is to write everyday I will not lose the challenge based on a few minutes here and there. In actual overall time today, I have spent more than 15 minutes writing. I wrote in my new journal and I wrote this piece. I think it all adds up and counts!
_________________________________________________________
I was walking the dog today. From time to time people comment on my dog and I usually just say thank you and keep on moving. However, every now and again more of my attention is required, unless I want to be an ass and ignore the other person. Example, this afternoon a woman stopped and began talking to me about her dog. She had a beagle and according to the story she told this Beagle was a super hero. Her dog’s super power was smelling!
The woman related a story that went something like this. While living in Ingersoll she took her Beagle to the park. The Beagle was able to smell bones that were buried 10 to 12 feet under ground. This, of course, is remarkable enough but the story gets even better. One day, when she was not looking, her Beagle began to dig. Much to her surprise the dog showed up with bones! I have no idea how she knew the bones were 12 feet deep, I imagine she went over and checked out the hole her dog had dug.
Having discovered the deep pit of bones she did what any good dog owner does. She called the police. I did not find out what the bones were or what the police did about that, it seemed secondary to the rest of the tale. Based on the super smelling senses her dog had the police took the dog in for “smell testing”. Of course, the Beagle passed with flying colours. Which is no surprise after finding bones buried 12 feet deep.
After evaluating the dog’s sense of smell the dog was offered a job as a drug “sniffer”. The woman, however, did not want her dog to be working every day so she turned down the job on the dog’s behalf. In the cold light of hindsight this poor woman told me she regretted her decision. "All dogs should have a job", she said "they like to work". We ruminated on that for a moment and then I said, “well, you loved your dog and that’s really what mattered”. She agreed. We smiled and bid each other a farewell and we went on about our days.
What a great moment in downtown dog walking. Had I not been in a hurry to get to work, I may have asked her what the bones were, animal or human. I would also certainly of asked her how long it took to fill the hole in!
_________________________________________________________
The Super Hero Beagle
I was walking the dog today. From time to time people comment on my dog and I usually just say thank you and keep on moving. However, every now and again more of my attention is required, unless I want to be an ass and ignore the other person. Example, this afternoon a woman stopped and began talking to me about her dog. She had a beagle and according to the story she told this Beagle was a super hero. Her dog’s super power was smelling!
The woman related a story that went something like this. While living in Ingersoll she took her Beagle to the park. The Beagle was able to smell bones that were buried 10 to 12 feet under ground. This, of course, is remarkable enough but the story gets even better. One day, when she was not looking, her Beagle began to dig. Much to her surprise the dog showed up with bones! I have no idea how she knew the bones were 12 feet deep, I imagine she went over and checked out the hole her dog had dug.
Having discovered the deep pit of bones she did what any good dog owner does. She called the police. I did not find out what the bones were or what the police did about that, it seemed secondary to the rest of the tale. Based on the super smelling senses her dog had the police took the dog in for “smell testing”. Of course, the Beagle passed with flying colours. Which is no surprise after finding bones buried 12 feet deep.
After evaluating the dog’s sense of smell the dog was offered a job as a drug “sniffer”. The woman, however, did not want her dog to be working every day so she turned down the job on the dog’s behalf. In the cold light of hindsight this poor woman told me she regretted her decision. "All dogs should have a job", she said "they like to work". We ruminated on that for a moment and then I said, “well, you loved your dog and that’s really what mattered”. She agreed. We smiled and bid each other a farewell and we went on about our days.
What a great moment in downtown dog walking. Had I not been in a hurry to get to work, I may have asked her what the bones were, animal or human. I would also certainly of asked her how long it took to fill the hole in!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
In 15 Minutes a Day
I am posting this unedited...just becasue I want too. Enjoy it.
_________________________________________________________
I am supposed to write for 15 minutes each day and I find myself putting it off. This is the first attempt at writing for 15 minutes. I actually need to write for one full hour to make up for the fact that I have not written anything in the past 3 days. When this challenge was put before me I accepted it. Of course I work at avoiding the actually doing of it. When I sat down today I was going to continue working on a piece I started last week. It took me some fancy computer work to actually find the document. When I did discover it I re-read it and now I am not really all the inspired to continue with it. That does not surprise me. It is the way I go with writing. I want the outcome, a great article or novel, but I avoid the work involved in creating it.
I have considered writing short stories, articles, harlequins and, of course, the great Canadian novel. To date I have not done any of that. I do have a Blog and I, from time to time, write things for that. I am not consistent and that makes for a boring lean Blog. Regardless, I think a lot of writing. I often have, what I think, are excellent stories in my head. I develop them while I walk my dog or while I am walking to work. I rarely write because I can avoid that. I surf the Internet. I eat, I watch TV I go for a walk or someone calls and saves me from the agony of sitting down and banging away on my computer keyboard.
Sometimes I write crazy e-mails to my friends. I go on and on and find that easy to do. Once I am in the groove I can come up with something that, based on the feedback, is pretty damn good. Many of my friends think I should be writing. But what would I write about? I mean who the hell wants to read this? I try to come up with ideas for articles, but who would want to buy an article from me? I have nothing really to offer in that regard. There are far better writers than I. I also struggle with my inner ambivalence. That feeling that says so clearly, who gives a shit? Why bother what the hell is the point? That can take the wind out of my sail long before my ship is moving. So, I do not act on the idea of writing.
Why do I want to write? I am not sure. I can only say that I have always wanted to be a writer, to make money for putting words onto paper. I want to be creative and allow that inner energy I have to flow out of me. I love creative pursuits, writing, painting or art of some kind and music. I have a piano, well a Yamaha keyboard and a saxophone. I do not touch either of them. They sit and collect dust while I live the fantasy. That is what this writing for 15 minutes a day is born from. The idea that if I do it I can move from living the fantasy to acting on the desire and actually creating something. I suppose if I act on my desires I would move from being ambivalent and often depressed to being alive and happy. Action is a powerful thing.
I was just struck, for some reason, with the thought of the gym. There is another thing that I actively avoid. For a time, albeit a brief time, I went to the gym at least 4 times a week. I held that for 8 months and I felt great. I was getting results and had tons of energy. I feel off the gym wagon when I took a trip to Halifax. I went away and never went back to the gym. I often wonder why. I was so committed to it; I scheduled my life around it. I am told that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. That may be true but apparently it takes only a day to lose it. Well, maybe it takes a trip away to lose it.
Well, there is the first 15-minute segment taken care of. It is now 4:17 and I just did a little sidebar to surf the net. I need to stay focused until 5pm and then I can move onto something else, maybe the saxophone. I often think I want an active full life but I must not truly want that. I spend a great deal of time sitting around thinking about what I would like to be doing. In some cases I am truly stuck, unsure. I would love to go to Africa or a place like that and help. Either help the people or the animals, probably the animals. Work with some organization that helps protect the dying wild life. Or, work with people in some far off part of the world that need help building schools or learning English of something. I do not feel qualified to help.
I was talking the other day about my fantasy list. This is the list of things that I would love to do but never act on. Like writing. Some of the items on my list I avoid out of fear. Some unknown thing that might happen if I pursue it. Like if I take off to Africa, how and what would I eat? I am very particular about my food. It is easy to list the things I like than the many things I do not like. Of course, I could eat it is an excuse or like I said a fear. Fear is irrational and is something that prevents us from moving forward. Having said that I grant you that it can also save our lives. We have the fear response for a reason. I suppose the trick is to figure out when it is deceiving us and when it is not.
It just occurred to me that I am a true Gemini. On the outside I am so easy going, carefree and full of good humour. As I become aware of what I am writing I realize how serious and uptight I am on the inside. I rarely pursuer what matters to me, what I think is important. I paint my self into corners all the time and then do trivial things to meet the basics of life. I have never planned out anything in my life so is it any wonder that I have never realized my plans! Okay, well moving right along lets take a look at that list:
1. Work in a developing country with the people and animals to help them have a better life.
2. Practise and develop my musical ability.
3. Write.
4. Be a life coach.
5. Be creative everyday, paint, draw etc.
6. Travel the world and experience different cultures and meet new people.
There is the list. I doubt that list is complete and it is not in any particular order. I do wonder how I can work on, say number 2, while living number 1. I do not image that I could develop my musical talent while living in some developing country and helping people that are sick or escaping war. It would be great to help children. So many are abused and forgotten, such lofty ideals I have.
Segment 2 complete, 30 minutes to go. I just thought about the conversations I was having with a friend or two about pursing your personal strengths. This is the great idea that we need not focus on our weakness. Our weaknesses are irrelevant. If you are not good at organizing then don’t get a job doing it. And if your Boss is harping on the state of your desk help him to focus on your results. Maybe you sell the most widgets and he is always telling you need to clean up. Tell him it’s not your strength and if he really wants your office all tidy he should first consider your results. If your Boss cannot drop the trivial and focus on your results than take your skills elsewhere. Okay, that is not really a good example of what I am talking about here. The idea is just that you would focus on what you are good at and run with that. Employers always ask what your weaknesses are. The answer really is, well future employer no need to worry about what my weaknesses might be, I am great at selling widgets, that’s what you need and that is what I will do. So, if I am not a great singer or not particularly good at picking decorator colours what difference does it make? I am sure you get the idea.
I love the idea of being results oriented. Author Timothy Ferris takes that to new heights. Results oriented means that I evaluate my performance based on results. It means shifting our focus away from how many hours you spend at the office or doing whatever it is you are doing. The person that puts in the most hours is often the one with the least results. So, if you can sell tons of widgets and still get in a golf game what difference does that make to the employer? Well, it should not make any difference. If you were making me a million bucks a year but you are able to do it in half the time the rest of the group does it, then go play golf. I can hear the objections from all of you caught up in the status quo paradigm but I am getting sore typing about this and I am not going to further discuss the idea. Just get results focused and see what happens.
Wow, it is now 4:41 and I am 4 minutes away from completing segment 3. And 19, not 18 minutes away from completing segment 4. Clearly I do not need any particular idea to bang off some writing. I can just bang off the random thoughts in my head and fill up a few pages. This is like going to the gym or practising. If you just go its done and time has past but you have something to show for it. Then when you head out one night for some fun, you see the results. Or you hit the stage and again you see the results. So what results are you getting life?
I am briefly stumped. I have no idea what to write next. I feel like this topic, as most of my topics are, dry and old. I do not want to go on and on about the same old same old. I am, however, going to post this on my Blog. I will then post the other 15-minute writings that occur this week. The review day for this challenge is Thursday. I am not sure what will come of all this so we will see. I wonder if each entry will just be some not so exciting insight into my inner self-talk. I am working on a story, which, I think I mentioned. Maybe I can wear myself out with me own blah blah blah stuff and then move onto…wait a minute here is a topic, burgers!
There is a new burger joint which is about to open up on Temperance Street. It is called Original Motorcycle. I am not sure what the connection is to burgers but the menu offers steak burgers. Sides include fries, sweet potatoes fries and onion rings. If you get a combo it is $13.95. I gleaned that today by reading the menu through the locked front doors. I hope it opens up soon because I enjoy getting a good burger on Saturday night and then watching COPS while I eat. Fun times.
Another great thing in the area is that a new Starbucks is opening. We need that for sure. There are only 9 that I can think of within a short walk from where I live. A nice balanced 10 is far better. This new location is one block from my place. It is looking like a great location with a fabulous outdoor patio. This summer is going to be a good year for sitting at Starbucks! I hope it is a good year for Starbucks overall. I have some stock and it has dropped from 35 bucks to 9 bucks. I have no intention of selling them, but I would rather the 35 buck share price than the 9 dollar share price. Given time I am sure they will bounce back. I really have no idea if they will bounce back we are talking about 5 dollar coffee and how long can that last?
Which brings me to Tim Horton’s. I wet into the Tim’s at Spadina and Bloor, what a mess. The customers in that place looked like they had fallen into the street rolled around and then dragged themselves in for a coffee. There were one or two exceptions, but the snob in me rushed out hoping never to have to go back there. I might have to scrounge change to buy a bagel but I still shower. That is an entirely new line of fodder and this novel is coming to a close. Maybe next time I will write about my inner snob. He is there and very much alive. I like him because without him I truly would have no standards!
The time is fast approaching 5pm. I can say that I sat here and wrote. I can say that I made up the time for the past 3 days and put in my time today. I can plan to do this tomorrow because I realize that 15 minutes of writing is really not that tiresome at all. It is rather easy. I have written 2341 words. That count does not include the word “words”. According to Stephen King and his book On Writing one great way to get into writing it so write at least 1000 words per day. I have accomplished both of those goals today, 15 minutes and 1000 words. I do think that doing it everyday makes a difference. I am going to work at not accumulating the time and then banging it off in one sitting. Writing everyday is about making it part of what I do so I can develop the skill and maybe sell some work. How great would that be
_________________________________________________________
I am supposed to write for 15 minutes each day and I find myself putting it off. This is the first attempt at writing for 15 minutes. I actually need to write for one full hour to make up for the fact that I have not written anything in the past 3 days. When this challenge was put before me I accepted it. Of course I work at avoiding the actually doing of it. When I sat down today I was going to continue working on a piece I started last week. It took me some fancy computer work to actually find the document. When I did discover it I re-read it and now I am not really all the inspired to continue with it. That does not surprise me. It is the way I go with writing. I want the outcome, a great article or novel, but I avoid the work involved in creating it.
I have considered writing short stories, articles, harlequins and, of course, the great Canadian novel. To date I have not done any of that. I do have a Blog and I, from time to time, write things for that. I am not consistent and that makes for a boring lean Blog. Regardless, I think a lot of writing. I often have, what I think, are excellent stories in my head. I develop them while I walk my dog or while I am walking to work. I rarely write because I can avoid that. I surf the Internet. I eat, I watch TV I go for a walk or someone calls and saves me from the agony of sitting down and banging away on my computer keyboard.
Sometimes I write crazy e-mails to my friends. I go on and on and find that easy to do. Once I am in the groove I can come up with something that, based on the feedback, is pretty damn good. Many of my friends think I should be writing. But what would I write about? I mean who the hell wants to read this? I try to come up with ideas for articles, but who would want to buy an article from me? I have nothing really to offer in that regard. There are far better writers than I. I also struggle with my inner ambivalence. That feeling that says so clearly, who gives a shit? Why bother what the hell is the point? That can take the wind out of my sail long before my ship is moving. So, I do not act on the idea of writing.
Why do I want to write? I am not sure. I can only say that I have always wanted to be a writer, to make money for putting words onto paper. I want to be creative and allow that inner energy I have to flow out of me. I love creative pursuits, writing, painting or art of some kind and music. I have a piano, well a Yamaha keyboard and a saxophone. I do not touch either of them. They sit and collect dust while I live the fantasy. That is what this writing for 15 minutes a day is born from. The idea that if I do it I can move from living the fantasy to acting on the desire and actually creating something. I suppose if I act on my desires I would move from being ambivalent and often depressed to being alive and happy. Action is a powerful thing.
I was just struck, for some reason, with the thought of the gym. There is another thing that I actively avoid. For a time, albeit a brief time, I went to the gym at least 4 times a week. I held that for 8 months and I felt great. I was getting results and had tons of energy. I feel off the gym wagon when I took a trip to Halifax. I went away and never went back to the gym. I often wonder why. I was so committed to it; I scheduled my life around it. I am told that it takes 21 days to form a new habit. That may be true but apparently it takes only a day to lose it. Well, maybe it takes a trip away to lose it.
Well, there is the first 15-minute segment taken care of. It is now 4:17 and I just did a little sidebar to surf the net. I need to stay focused until 5pm and then I can move onto something else, maybe the saxophone. I often think I want an active full life but I must not truly want that. I spend a great deal of time sitting around thinking about what I would like to be doing. In some cases I am truly stuck, unsure. I would love to go to Africa or a place like that and help. Either help the people or the animals, probably the animals. Work with some organization that helps protect the dying wild life. Or, work with people in some far off part of the world that need help building schools or learning English of something. I do not feel qualified to help.
I was talking the other day about my fantasy list. This is the list of things that I would love to do but never act on. Like writing. Some of the items on my list I avoid out of fear. Some unknown thing that might happen if I pursue it. Like if I take off to Africa, how and what would I eat? I am very particular about my food. It is easy to list the things I like than the many things I do not like. Of course, I could eat it is an excuse or like I said a fear. Fear is irrational and is something that prevents us from moving forward. Having said that I grant you that it can also save our lives. We have the fear response for a reason. I suppose the trick is to figure out when it is deceiving us and when it is not.
It just occurred to me that I am a true Gemini. On the outside I am so easy going, carefree and full of good humour. As I become aware of what I am writing I realize how serious and uptight I am on the inside. I rarely pursuer what matters to me, what I think is important. I paint my self into corners all the time and then do trivial things to meet the basics of life. I have never planned out anything in my life so is it any wonder that I have never realized my plans! Okay, well moving right along lets take a look at that list:
1. Work in a developing country with the people and animals to help them have a better life.
2. Practise and develop my musical ability.
3. Write.
4. Be a life coach.
5. Be creative everyday, paint, draw etc.
6. Travel the world and experience different cultures and meet new people.
There is the list. I doubt that list is complete and it is not in any particular order. I do wonder how I can work on, say number 2, while living number 1. I do not image that I could develop my musical talent while living in some developing country and helping people that are sick or escaping war. It would be great to help children. So many are abused and forgotten, such lofty ideals I have.
Segment 2 complete, 30 minutes to go. I just thought about the conversations I was having with a friend or two about pursing your personal strengths. This is the great idea that we need not focus on our weakness. Our weaknesses are irrelevant. If you are not good at organizing then don’t get a job doing it. And if your Boss is harping on the state of your desk help him to focus on your results. Maybe you sell the most widgets and he is always telling you need to clean up. Tell him it’s not your strength and if he really wants your office all tidy he should first consider your results. If your Boss cannot drop the trivial and focus on your results than take your skills elsewhere. Okay, that is not really a good example of what I am talking about here. The idea is just that you would focus on what you are good at and run with that. Employers always ask what your weaknesses are. The answer really is, well future employer no need to worry about what my weaknesses might be, I am great at selling widgets, that’s what you need and that is what I will do. So, if I am not a great singer or not particularly good at picking decorator colours what difference does it make? I am sure you get the idea.
I love the idea of being results oriented. Author Timothy Ferris takes that to new heights. Results oriented means that I evaluate my performance based on results. It means shifting our focus away from how many hours you spend at the office or doing whatever it is you are doing. The person that puts in the most hours is often the one with the least results. So, if you can sell tons of widgets and still get in a golf game what difference does that make to the employer? Well, it should not make any difference. If you were making me a million bucks a year but you are able to do it in half the time the rest of the group does it, then go play golf. I can hear the objections from all of you caught up in the status quo paradigm but I am getting sore typing about this and I am not going to further discuss the idea. Just get results focused and see what happens.
Wow, it is now 4:41 and I am 4 minutes away from completing segment 3. And 19, not 18 minutes away from completing segment 4. Clearly I do not need any particular idea to bang off some writing. I can just bang off the random thoughts in my head and fill up a few pages. This is like going to the gym or practising. If you just go its done and time has past but you have something to show for it. Then when you head out one night for some fun, you see the results. Or you hit the stage and again you see the results. So what results are you getting life?
I am briefly stumped. I have no idea what to write next. I feel like this topic, as most of my topics are, dry and old. I do not want to go on and on about the same old same old. I am, however, going to post this on my Blog. I will then post the other 15-minute writings that occur this week. The review day for this challenge is Thursday. I am not sure what will come of all this so we will see. I wonder if each entry will just be some not so exciting insight into my inner self-talk. I am working on a story, which, I think I mentioned. Maybe I can wear myself out with me own blah blah blah stuff and then move onto…wait a minute here is a topic, burgers!
There is a new burger joint which is about to open up on Temperance Street. It is called Original Motorcycle. I am not sure what the connection is to burgers but the menu offers steak burgers. Sides include fries, sweet potatoes fries and onion rings. If you get a combo it is $13.95. I gleaned that today by reading the menu through the locked front doors. I hope it opens up soon because I enjoy getting a good burger on Saturday night and then watching COPS while I eat. Fun times.
Another great thing in the area is that a new Starbucks is opening. We need that for sure. There are only 9 that I can think of within a short walk from where I live. A nice balanced 10 is far better. This new location is one block from my place. It is looking like a great location with a fabulous outdoor patio. This summer is going to be a good year for sitting at Starbucks! I hope it is a good year for Starbucks overall. I have some stock and it has dropped from 35 bucks to 9 bucks. I have no intention of selling them, but I would rather the 35 buck share price than the 9 dollar share price. Given time I am sure they will bounce back. I really have no idea if they will bounce back we are talking about 5 dollar coffee and how long can that last?
Which brings me to Tim Horton’s. I wet into the Tim’s at Spadina and Bloor, what a mess. The customers in that place looked like they had fallen into the street rolled around and then dragged themselves in for a coffee. There were one or two exceptions, but the snob in me rushed out hoping never to have to go back there. I might have to scrounge change to buy a bagel but I still shower. That is an entirely new line of fodder and this novel is coming to a close. Maybe next time I will write about my inner snob. He is there and very much alive. I like him because without him I truly would have no standards!
The time is fast approaching 5pm. I can say that I sat here and wrote. I can say that I made up the time for the past 3 days and put in my time today. I can plan to do this tomorrow because I realize that 15 minutes of writing is really not that tiresome at all. It is rather easy. I have written 2341 words. That count does not include the word “words”. According to Stephen King and his book On Writing one great way to get into writing it so write at least 1000 words per day. I have accomplished both of those goals today, 15 minutes and 1000 words. I do think that doing it everyday makes a difference. I am going to work at not accumulating the time and then banging it off in one sitting. Writing everyday is about making it part of what I do so I can develop the skill and maybe sell some work. How great would that be
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Thoughts Off Stage
Life, at times, can be full of surprises. Things occur, although sometimes the main stage is empty and life, it seems, happens only in the periphery. That is how it has been for me lately. Life is happening all around me yet not of me. More to the point, events are unfolding and they have an impact on me, but are not about me. I am not even clear how or why these peripheral events impact me. I suppose we all attempt to make everything about ourselves. What does this mean to me? How do I handle this situation? The reality is that everything is about us all. All events impact and direct us in ways we are not always aware of.
Death has been and always is, lurking, in the shadows, just off stage. It waits for no one and does not care what you may be involved in or have planned. You can get caught in its snare with apparent ease and struggling and begging and wishful thinking will bring you no relief. It can stomp out your breath all at once, or, it may drain it from you slowly. Either way you better have lived the life you wanted, done the things you need to do and done them without hesitation, without fear, without believing you will have the time tomorrow. Death is indiscriminate and as I said, waits for no one. But more to the point, it will not wait for you to finish; it will take you mid play. So it’s best to make sure that you are playing and playing full out.
I think I was on a train. A great big powerful train, racing along a winding set of tracks though possibility and it took my breath away. At some point the distance, the future the uncertainty, distracted me. I am not sure of the moment, I’m not sure it matters, but at some point the train jumped the tracks. When it did it caused a huge cataclysmic wreck that sent my train cars in all directions. Now, in the aftermath, I know without seeing, that they are all piled on top of each other, wheels high, broken, crushed and coming to rest, slowly, under a cloud of black acrid smoke. The fires have subsided, the scream of twisting metal is fading and silence is now invading the scene as the camera pans upward. I am somewhere in the wreckage. I am dazed and confused and have, for some reason, no idea what happened or why. I cannot see up or down and I have no idea if I need to crawl out or stay where I am. It appears that I neglected to jump off.
When the alarm clock goes off, a little louder these days, I hear the click and whir before the music fills the air. I roll and lean and hit the button that will silence the process for another 9 minutes. Death has remained off stage and the clutter is all still around me. I cuddle myself under the Egyptian cotton, slowly drifting off, eyes and arms wide. I wake again; I have become aware of my vacant stare and limp body. I believe that I have nothing to get up for. Regardless, eventually, I step back into the sidelines and dabble. I mutter and smile and poke around in this place. I skirt the sunlit openings that appear, at random, in my world, as I am unsure of their origins, their intent. I move things around and I pontificate. I live some of my best moments, upstairs, with the others that pontificate. We cheat through our laughter and shudder in secret as we slip out. We are sad and lonely and stuck in the muck that we created with such ease. If I spin my wheels again the spray will certainly end up on the windows I just cleaned. I turn the car off.
Once again I spread it all out in front of me. I will assess and evaluate and make some careful choices. I will share it around with some of the others. I will listen, defend and, of course, pontificate. The good parts will be taken from me and used, in ways I had considered but not acted upon. It won’t really matter, I’m on an escalator and even if the power goes out I can still get to the top. Or so I believe. As I turn my head to look over my shoulder I am shocked to see the other way. A large group of others moves along singing and holding hands. I catch the eye of one, as his tear falls, and all I am and all I was fills me in that moment, a heartbeat too late. My hand slips, or I simply let go, and in slow motion I fall into the blinding darkness. I dissolve, radiate and disperse. Now I am all and everything and now, I understand.
Death has been and always is, lurking, in the shadows, just off stage. It waits for no one and does not care what you may be involved in or have planned. You can get caught in its snare with apparent ease and struggling and begging and wishful thinking will bring you no relief. It can stomp out your breath all at once, or, it may drain it from you slowly. Either way you better have lived the life you wanted, done the things you need to do and done them without hesitation, without fear, without believing you will have the time tomorrow. Death is indiscriminate and as I said, waits for no one. But more to the point, it will not wait for you to finish; it will take you mid play. So it’s best to make sure that you are playing and playing full out.
I think I was on a train. A great big powerful train, racing along a winding set of tracks though possibility and it took my breath away. At some point the distance, the future the uncertainty, distracted me. I am not sure of the moment, I’m not sure it matters, but at some point the train jumped the tracks. When it did it caused a huge cataclysmic wreck that sent my train cars in all directions. Now, in the aftermath, I know without seeing, that they are all piled on top of each other, wheels high, broken, crushed and coming to rest, slowly, under a cloud of black acrid smoke. The fires have subsided, the scream of twisting metal is fading and silence is now invading the scene as the camera pans upward. I am somewhere in the wreckage. I am dazed and confused and have, for some reason, no idea what happened or why. I cannot see up or down and I have no idea if I need to crawl out or stay where I am. It appears that I neglected to jump off.
When the alarm clock goes off, a little louder these days, I hear the click and whir before the music fills the air. I roll and lean and hit the button that will silence the process for another 9 minutes. Death has remained off stage and the clutter is all still around me. I cuddle myself under the Egyptian cotton, slowly drifting off, eyes and arms wide. I wake again; I have become aware of my vacant stare and limp body. I believe that I have nothing to get up for. Regardless, eventually, I step back into the sidelines and dabble. I mutter and smile and poke around in this place. I skirt the sunlit openings that appear, at random, in my world, as I am unsure of their origins, their intent. I move things around and I pontificate. I live some of my best moments, upstairs, with the others that pontificate. We cheat through our laughter and shudder in secret as we slip out. We are sad and lonely and stuck in the muck that we created with such ease. If I spin my wheels again the spray will certainly end up on the windows I just cleaned. I turn the car off.
Once again I spread it all out in front of me. I will assess and evaluate and make some careful choices. I will share it around with some of the others. I will listen, defend and, of course, pontificate. The good parts will be taken from me and used, in ways I had considered but not acted upon. It won’t really matter, I’m on an escalator and even if the power goes out I can still get to the top. Or so I believe. As I turn my head to look over my shoulder I am shocked to see the other way. A large group of others moves along singing and holding hands. I catch the eye of one, as his tear falls, and all I am and all I was fills me in that moment, a heartbeat too late. My hand slips, or I simply let go, and in slow motion I fall into the blinding darkness. I dissolve, radiate and disperse. Now I am all and everything and now, I understand.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
This one's for Rondi
On the heels of writing about not watching TV, I’ve been watching TV! I have been sitting on the couch, remote in hand, channel surfing. I surf because I am bored. I stopped on Oprah, briefly. Who are these chefs? Celebrity Chefs? What are those? Are these people I am suppose to know? I surf on.
I stop on Ellen. Ellen I know. I think one would have to be living under a rock not to know Ellen. However, she has a steady stream of guests that for some reason are worthy of TV airtime. Who is Zach? Why would I want to listen to what he has to say? Do I care that he has a funny hair do? Why would I? I don’t understand. I watched a little while longer because Ellen is funny. But who is Jonas and what has his brother done that he needs to be on TV? Am I supposed to know? I just don’t get it. I have enough trouble keeping track of my own friends and family. How do you people keep track of all these other people? I continue to watch and I must admit I do know who Clint Eastwood is and I would love to see his new movie Gran Torino. If you want to take me, let me know.
Later on in the evening I decided to have another go at it. I thought I would watch something intelligent, although I think that is an oxymoron, television and intelligent. I do discover a segment on CBC News World about lions in Africa. I stop and take in the mini documentary. I learn about Lion Guards and how one organization is attempting to save the lions. Now that was worthy of my time. Then I am slammed with commercials. Those major length advertisements are never ending. So I surf.
I stop on a show about overweight British women. Well, just two in particular. Some “Do Gooder” is helping these women to see the error of their ways. I am not sure why these women agree to examine their poop on international TV, but then I do not understand why anyone watches TV (with the exception of COPS and America’s Most Wanted – anyone want to start Canada’s Most Wanted with me?). Regardless, there they were, poop in a food container, discussing the output and what it might all mean. I would think after eating 26 slices of bread with jam and butter you would not need someone to point out to you what it means.
Despite my disdain for this misused invention I am not going to disconnect. By morning light I will have forgotten about the mystery Zach and the Jonas brother. I will avoid the TV for most of the day as I have some errands to do. I will, however, turn on the TV and briefly join the millions of you using the TV to avoid whatever it is we should be doing in that moment. Then a commercial will come on and I will forget why I am sitting on the couch and I will get up and leave. I will take The Baron out and feel better for it. I will not return to that comfy spot until Saturday night. Like I said the exception is COPS and AMW, which often makes me think of A&W, which in turn, makes me want a burger. Marketing at its finest!
I stop on Ellen. Ellen I know. I think one would have to be living under a rock not to know Ellen. However, she has a steady stream of guests that for some reason are worthy of TV airtime. Who is Zach? Why would I want to listen to what he has to say? Do I care that he has a funny hair do? Why would I? I don’t understand. I watched a little while longer because Ellen is funny. But who is Jonas and what has his brother done that he needs to be on TV? Am I supposed to know? I just don’t get it. I have enough trouble keeping track of my own friends and family. How do you people keep track of all these other people? I continue to watch and I must admit I do know who Clint Eastwood is and I would love to see his new movie Gran Torino. If you want to take me, let me know.
Later on in the evening I decided to have another go at it. I thought I would watch something intelligent, although I think that is an oxymoron, television and intelligent. I do discover a segment on CBC News World about lions in Africa. I stop and take in the mini documentary. I learn about Lion Guards and how one organization is attempting to save the lions. Now that was worthy of my time. Then I am slammed with commercials. Those major length advertisements are never ending. So I surf.
I stop on a show about overweight British women. Well, just two in particular. Some “Do Gooder” is helping these women to see the error of their ways. I am not sure why these women agree to examine their poop on international TV, but then I do not understand why anyone watches TV (with the exception of COPS and America’s Most Wanted – anyone want to start Canada’s Most Wanted with me?). Regardless, there they were, poop in a food container, discussing the output and what it might all mean. I would think after eating 26 slices of bread with jam and butter you would not need someone to point out to you what it means.
Despite my disdain for this misused invention I am not going to disconnect. By morning light I will have forgotten about the mystery Zach and the Jonas brother. I will avoid the TV for most of the day as I have some errands to do. I will, however, turn on the TV and briefly join the millions of you using the TV to avoid whatever it is we should be doing in that moment. Then a commercial will come on and I will forget why I am sitting on the couch and I will get up and leave. I will take The Baron out and feel better for it. I will not return to that comfy spot until Saturday night. Like I said the exception is COPS and AMW, which often makes me think of A&W, which in turn, makes me want a burger. Marketing at its finest!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Milestone Ahead
The end of the year is approaching. I would say fast approaching but time moves at the same speed all the time. Time is like that. The end of the year, or beginning of the New Year is a great place to drop a marker. Draw a line in the sand and set some expectations on what you may want to achieve in the coming months. I intend to do just that.
Of course, the fear, my fear, is that I will continue on as I am. Doing the things I do that lead me to the endless places of oblivion that have become my life. I say that without drama, it is simply the case of my being. I accomplish nothing and have the results to prove it. I talk the talk but I seldom get out and walk the walk.
It truly is a challenge, for me anyway, to change directions. I have come to believe that I need to force the change, as painful as that will be. Shear force of will to start the process and then as the change occurs the momentum will carry me.
So with the knowledge that the days of 2008 are numbered I race to beat the clock. I have a long list of things to move, change and discard by the eve of the 31st. I can see the top of my desk, however, my closets are still full. I’ll let you all know what the 1st holds.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good night.
Of course, the fear, my fear, is that I will continue on as I am. Doing the things I do that lead me to the endless places of oblivion that have become my life. I say that without drama, it is simply the case of my being. I accomplish nothing and have the results to prove it. I talk the talk but I seldom get out and walk the walk.
It truly is a challenge, for me anyway, to change directions. I have come to believe that I need to force the change, as painful as that will be. Shear force of will to start the process and then as the change occurs the momentum will carry me.
So with the knowledge that the days of 2008 are numbered I race to beat the clock. I have a long list of things to move, change and discard by the eve of the 31st. I can see the top of my desk, however, my closets are still full. I’ll let you all know what the 1st holds.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good night.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Mind Numbing TV
I do not understand television people. I am referring to those that watch it; those that make it I get completely. I have not had a TV hooked up in quite a while. A few months back I changed all that and plunged back in. However, for the most part I watch DVD’s.
The other day I decided to sit back and turn on the old tube, I lasted about 5 minutes. I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or so I thought. What I was really watching was advertising with clips of the Willy Wonka movie worked in. It drove me nuts, just as I was getting into the flow of the movie, more commercials. I shut it all off. I know where to go next time I find myself in the mood to watch commercials. How do you all do it?
That question is targeted to those of you that do not have PVR’s. I wonder how the advertisers that pay huge money for commercial spots feel about those things. All you PVR’ers fast forwarding through Tide commercials, how dare you! I predict a change for TV viewing in the coming years. Once we are all “digital” we will pay not for channels but for shows. If you like Two and Half Men then you will pay for that show. No commercials, just the show. How nice. A pay as you go sort of thing, turn on the tube, buy the show(s) you want to watch and off you go. No annoying commercials. I look forward to that day and when it comes I will hook back in. I must admit, however, that I will miss the Ikea commercials.
The other day I decided to sit back and turn on the old tube, I lasted about 5 minutes. I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or so I thought. What I was really watching was advertising with clips of the Willy Wonka movie worked in. It drove me nuts, just as I was getting into the flow of the movie, more commercials. I shut it all off. I know where to go next time I find myself in the mood to watch commercials. How do you all do it?
That question is targeted to those of you that do not have PVR’s. I wonder how the advertisers that pay huge money for commercial spots feel about those things. All you PVR’ers fast forwarding through Tide commercials, how dare you! I predict a change for TV viewing in the coming years. Once we are all “digital” we will pay not for channels but for shows. If you like Two and Half Men then you will pay for that show. No commercials, just the show. How nice. A pay as you go sort of thing, turn on the tube, buy the show(s) you want to watch and off you go. No annoying commercials. I look forward to that day and when it comes I will hook back in. I must admit, however, that I will miss the Ikea commercials.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
I need something new
I need to come up with a topic for this post. I have not put anything on this Blog for so long, it is getting crunchy. New, something new. Oh, I went to Metro about 2 hours ago after walking my dog and a friend's dog. I wanted some junk food; it is night time after all and I need my fix. I spotted new (well new to me) Ah Caramel cakes with a new flavour twist; Triple Chocolate! A new flavour of the Ah Caramel Cakes that I love so much. I was torn people. What was I to do? I wanted to try the new triple chocolate cakes, how could I resist? But the tried and true Ah Caramel, I new they would not disappoint. In a flash it came to me. Buy both. I did. I now have 24 Ah Caramel cakes in two flavours. If you want one, act fast, they are going quickly, only 16 left.
I do not think anything else is new. I do need a few new things. I need a new monitor for my PC. I need new jeans. I need a new approach. I also need to call the police about the drug dealers on the street. That, however, is not new.
Oh wait, this post is new!
I do not think anything else is new. I do need a few new things. I need a new monitor for my PC. I need new jeans. I need a new approach. I also need to call the police about the drug dealers on the street. That, however, is not new.
Oh wait, this post is new!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Creating Belief
Last night, while walking around Chinatown feeding feral cats, a friend of mine, tolerated my blindness and helped me see. We got talking about 9/11 and a comment I had made in an e-mail I had sent to her. I stated that I did not believe an airplane had flown into the Pentagon (I have to mention her comment as I am smiling at the memory…she said she did not respond to my e-mail because she did not know what to do with it…). Rondi, my friend, is someone that knows more about politics than I, and more about world happenings than I, so I usually ask questions and listen.
I listened again last night. What I discovered, aside from the evidence of the plane flying into the Pentagon, was something a little more interesting to me. I discovered that I wanted to believe that there was a conspiracy. I think I have come to find comfort in believing that the US government, and ours to a lesser degree, conspire on most things. If you look you can see evidence everywhere. All those documentaries cannot be wrong, right?
The reality is that they can be and some of them are way off base. Truth is something that is flexible and in order to determine what is and what isn’t, one needs to take the time to check the source. I noticed that I believe what I want to believe. Interesting, I thought I believed what made sense and was actually true. Which on some level I was, taking in the information, sorting out what made sense and then taking that to be true. My truth. However, what happened to checking it out?
I think, with the 9/11 incident I chose to take hold of the conspiracy theories because in some strange way it gave me some comfort. It was easier to accept that it was an “inside job” than believe that there is a real threat to my safety from some unknown unseen enemy. Interesting.
I read a long article printed in Popular Mechanics. It was very interesting and “debunked” most of the conspiracy claims. One by one, knocking them down with concrete facts about what happened on that day. So, now, I am over it.
I still believe, however, that Monsanto, the corporation that holds a GMO soybean patent is out of control. As were and still are to some extent, the tobacco companies. However, I think that conspiracies are not done on such grand scales and often what appears to be a conspiracy is simply bad judgement. Corporations, being money focused, tend to lose sight of what is good, It remains our responsibility to stay informed and when required, kick those companies back into line.
I guess the trick is to stay in the world of possibilities. Imagine what it would take to conspire and execute a 9/11 event. There would be so many people involved that it would fail before it got started. We may debate how it was handled; did Bush do a good job? Was the US response appropriate? How do we prevent such acts of terror in the future? But to distract ourselves with wild speculation and theories that simply do not fly do us all a disservice.
It is great to be able to look inside and see what had me believing. It was great to re-evaluate and be aware of the process I have been using to make decisions and create my beliefs. I feel humbled and with a new awareness. Believing does not make it true.
Thanks Rondi.
I listened again last night. What I discovered, aside from the evidence of the plane flying into the Pentagon, was something a little more interesting to me. I discovered that I wanted to believe that there was a conspiracy. I think I have come to find comfort in believing that the US government, and ours to a lesser degree, conspire on most things. If you look you can see evidence everywhere. All those documentaries cannot be wrong, right?
The reality is that they can be and some of them are way off base. Truth is something that is flexible and in order to determine what is and what isn’t, one needs to take the time to check the source. I noticed that I believe what I want to believe. Interesting, I thought I believed what made sense and was actually true. Which on some level I was, taking in the information, sorting out what made sense and then taking that to be true. My truth. However, what happened to checking it out?
I think, with the 9/11 incident I chose to take hold of the conspiracy theories because in some strange way it gave me some comfort. It was easier to accept that it was an “inside job” than believe that there is a real threat to my safety from some unknown unseen enemy. Interesting.
I read a long article printed in Popular Mechanics. It was very interesting and “debunked” most of the conspiracy claims. One by one, knocking them down with concrete facts about what happened on that day. So, now, I am over it.
I still believe, however, that Monsanto, the corporation that holds a GMO soybean patent is out of control. As were and still are to some extent, the tobacco companies. However, I think that conspiracies are not done on such grand scales and often what appears to be a conspiracy is simply bad judgement. Corporations, being money focused, tend to lose sight of what is good, It remains our responsibility to stay informed and when required, kick those companies back into line.
I guess the trick is to stay in the world of possibilities. Imagine what it would take to conspire and execute a 9/11 event. There would be so many people involved that it would fail before it got started. We may debate how it was handled; did Bush do a good job? Was the US response appropriate? How do we prevent such acts of terror in the future? But to distract ourselves with wild speculation and theories that simply do not fly do us all a disservice.
It is great to be able to look inside and see what had me believing. It was great to re-evaluate and be aware of the process I have been using to make decisions and create my beliefs. I feel humbled and with a new awareness. Believing does not make it true.
Thanks Rondi.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Bailout
The ones that made, the obviously bad choice, to loan money to people that cannot repay it are going to be bailed out. The US taxpayers are being set up to buy the bad assets from the financial institutions. Does this mean that they can stay in, or have their house back? No, of course not. However, the banker will have his pocket money given back to him. How nice to belong to that little club at the top. I had to smile at the part, in the video, that states they will ask for legislation to raise the ceiling for the debt. Why create a ceiling to begin with if you are just going to raise it? Right, my mistake, when something is no longer convenient you change it.
This comment, posted on the Star’s site, suggests an alternative to the bailout.
I attempted to source this via Harvard’s website but I had no luck. I do not doubt that there is a better alternative then the bailout suggested by the Bush administration. Why is it we always accept that the rich save the rich? Are we just to damn busy trying to find jobs, and another place to live, that we let the royalty up top get away with it time and time again?
I may not have much of an understanding of the economy, however, I do understand debt. The time comes when you are asked to pay. At 11.3 trillion I hope when that time comes, someone had the foresight to put a little bit aside.
This comment, posted on the Star’s site, suggests an alternative to the bailout.
the effect of the bail out is the taxpayer assumes the "toxic debt" created by Wall Street. Why not directly write down this debt, giving relief to the victims of these crimes, allowing them to remain in their homes, and a vital part of the economy. Harvard calculates this would cost only $150 to $200 billion, and the net result would be more favorable to everyone and the economy as a whole, except those who created this mess. It would in effect bail them out, but not reward them. Everyone wins, sort of. But alas, this makes too much sense, and the lobbyists would not be happy with anything less than Wall Street profiteering further from their own fraud.
I attempted to source this via Harvard’s website but I had no luck. I do not doubt that there is a better alternative then the bailout suggested by the Bush administration. Why is it we always accept that the rich save the rich? Are we just to damn busy trying to find jobs, and another place to live, that we let the royalty up top get away with it time and time again?
I may not have much of an understanding of the economy, however, I do understand debt. The time comes when you are asked to pay. At 11.3 trillion I hope when that time comes, someone had the foresight to put a little bit aside.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Musical Memories
I have been spending the evening watching music videos and writing. I have had different thoughts while working this process. One is I want to get out of here. Another is that only a music star can get arrested in a washroom for having sex and turn into a pretty damn good song (although I am not sure Mr. Michaels was actually having sex, however, I am sure it was his intent and what the hell you only live once).
I have Michael Jackson on at the moment. I am limited to Sony artists as I am on the Sony BMG site. It is pretty good, and easy way to watch videos. Not to say that I am not watching Michael Jackson videos because I am limited. I enjoy him. I have watched Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Beat it, and Billie Jean. I had a memory flash back, while watching Beat It, of my sister Chana commenting that Michael had “all the moves”. Maybe it was not in reference to MJ but I do recall such a comment. I also recall thinking; I have all the moves, what the hell is she talking about?
But I realize that I am like that dancer on Birdcage. The one that Robin Williams’s character is talking to during the rehearsal. I am fosse fosse fosse Madonna Madonna Madonna, but I am keeping it all inside. And I do, keep it all inside. However, not for very much longer, I’ve got to get control… I am applying for a bursary to the RCM. I am going to take, learn and play music.
Check out the site. See where it takes you. I leave you while listening to NSYNC.
I have Michael Jackson on at the moment. I am limited to Sony artists as I am on the Sony BMG site. It is pretty good, and easy way to watch videos. Not to say that I am not watching Michael Jackson videos because I am limited. I enjoy him. I have watched Thriller, Smooth Criminal, Beat it, and Billie Jean. I had a memory flash back, while watching Beat It, of my sister Chana commenting that Michael had “all the moves”. Maybe it was not in reference to MJ but I do recall such a comment. I also recall thinking; I have all the moves, what the hell is she talking about?
But I realize that I am like that dancer on Birdcage. The one that Robin Williams’s character is talking to during the rehearsal. I am fosse fosse fosse Madonna Madonna Madonna, but I am keeping it all inside. And I do, keep it all inside. However, not for very much longer, I’ve got to get control… I am applying for a bursary to the RCM. I am going to take, learn and play music.
Check out the site. See where it takes you. I leave you while listening to NSYNC.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Magenta Mauve Maroon Crows
I watched Maroon 5 last night at the Molson Amphitheatre and was enthralled. They are like a group of kids playing in their basement. The funny thing is when I checked out their site today I learned that they did just that. Of course they did. Playing guitar and experimenting with their sound. Developing into the great players they are today. The 3 of them on stage playing mean guitar it truly was a flashback experience. It felt like the 70’s and I could imagine these guys playing in their parent’s basement on some old orangie brown shag carpet.
The drummer of this group is also an amazing player. Tons of non-stop energy; I wonder if he collapses after the show. My view of the keyboard player was a bit obscured despite the 3rd row centre seats. It could have been because I was so close to the stage that I could not see him way up there. The band is a very well oiled machine with great songs and a great stage presence. I had a great time and as I write this I have Maroon 5 on my stereo, rather loud.
The concert was a double bill that opened with Sara Beralis. I did not catch much of her act but what I did hear was great. Adam from The Counting Crows came on stage and introduced her claming she would be touring on her own very soon. I share his belief; she will be there no doubt.
The reason I missed her (Sara) was we were backstage with the guitar player from The Crows. My friend Rondi is connected and invited me to the show. We went backstage and had a beer and a chat. About 10 minutes before the Crows hit the stage we came out and took our seats.
The Crows are also an amazing band. I enjoyed their set and I now need to hit the HMV or some of the second hand CD stores. I need to get the Crows into my collection.
Whoever came up with the idea of these 3 acts on one stage in one night knows what they are doing. The build up was perfect. Each act generated more energy for the next; they compliment each other perfectly. What a great night of music. I left a bit deaf and no doubt I have lost a portion of my hearing, but what a way to go!
Thank you Rondi for inviting me, I had a great time. Next time the latte’s are on me!
The drummer of this group is also an amazing player. Tons of non-stop energy; I wonder if he collapses after the show. My view of the keyboard player was a bit obscured despite the 3rd row centre seats. It could have been because I was so close to the stage that I could not see him way up there. The band is a very well oiled machine with great songs and a great stage presence. I had a great time and as I write this I have Maroon 5 on my stereo, rather loud.
The concert was a double bill that opened with Sara Beralis. I did not catch much of her act but what I did hear was great. Adam from The Counting Crows came on stage and introduced her claming she would be touring on her own very soon. I share his belief; she will be there no doubt.
The reason I missed her (Sara) was we were backstage with the guitar player from The Crows. My friend Rondi is connected and invited me to the show. We went backstage and had a beer and a chat. About 10 minutes before the Crows hit the stage we came out and took our seats.
The Crows are also an amazing band. I enjoyed their set and I now need to hit the HMV or some of the second hand CD stores. I need to get the Crows into my collection.
Whoever came up with the idea of these 3 acts on one stage in one night knows what they are doing. The build up was perfect. Each act generated more energy for the next; they compliment each other perfectly. What a great night of music. I left a bit deaf and no doubt I have lost a portion of my hearing, but what a way to go!
Thank you Rondi for inviting me, I had a great time. Next time the latte’s are on me!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I saw a pig
Yesterday, while walking home from work, I spotted a pig. This pig was in the scoop of a bobcat. As I watched, in a haze of disbelief, I realized I was seeing live what I had heard about from sources like Fast Food Nation and some of my friends. I watched and realized I cannot eat another pig.
As I stood there watching, with my dog, I noticed that there was at least 2 pigs in the scoop. I wondered how they got in there; it would be painful to just be scooped up by one of those machines. I cannot say for sure, however, I thought at least one of the pigs was alive. If it was I am sure it was terrified and in a great deal of pain. It was unnatural the way it was being bounced around. I reasoned that it was actually dead. Which lead me to wonder how it died. Was it on the truck on route to this slaughterhouse? I have learned, what should have been obvious after seeing a few truck loads of pigs, that the trucks are exposed to the elements. No heat in the winter, no cooling in the summer, no food no water....no wonder.
I think it is awful how we treat animals. On the surface I have no problem being a meat eater. I enjoy burgers, chicken and steaks. What makes me sick is seeing how we treat these animals before we kill them. We may be able to explain it away with economic reasons but truly there is no justification for the horrors we subject them too. I am left, as we all are, with a choice. Take the blue pill and all is ok, we return to the numb unknowing state we like to live in. Or take the red pill, take a stand and do something about it.
I hope you all take the red pill. If you need a little more to encourage you I defy you to watch this video and then tell me it’s all ok. Hell, they are just animals. Oh wait, so are we.
If you must eat meat, eat cruelty free meat. Free range grain fed chickens for example.
As I stood there watching, with my dog, I noticed that there was at least 2 pigs in the scoop. I wondered how they got in there; it would be painful to just be scooped up by one of those machines. I cannot say for sure, however, I thought at least one of the pigs was alive. If it was I am sure it was terrified and in a great deal of pain. It was unnatural the way it was being bounced around. I reasoned that it was actually dead. Which lead me to wonder how it died. Was it on the truck on route to this slaughterhouse? I have learned, what should have been obvious after seeing a few truck loads of pigs, that the trucks are exposed to the elements. No heat in the winter, no cooling in the summer, no food no water....no wonder.
I think it is awful how we treat animals. On the surface I have no problem being a meat eater. I enjoy burgers, chicken and steaks. What makes me sick is seeing how we treat these animals before we kill them. We may be able to explain it away with economic reasons but truly there is no justification for the horrors we subject them too. I am left, as we all are, with a choice. Take the blue pill and all is ok, we return to the numb unknowing state we like to live in. Or take the red pill, take a stand and do something about it.
I hope you all take the red pill. If you need a little more to encourage you I defy you to watch this video and then tell me it’s all ok. Hell, they are just animals. Oh wait, so are we.
If you must eat meat, eat cruelty free meat. Free range grain fed chickens for example.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Fire and Space
I walked on fire, literally; burning hot coals at 2400 degrees. I walked and I focused and I made it across and it transformed a part of me. I was discussing the experience today and I realized that most of life is the figurative of that literal experience. To transform (which is different than change) one must walk the coals and the coals lie in the space between:
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain…
This is the one side. The side I have been on for many years. It is the side of the space where we, I, cry and laugh and remain to “keep safe from the pain”. What I have learned is that when we step out onto the coals, with help from a soul that knows, we may leave some of what we are behind but we gain.
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain…
Then there is that other side. And if we are hiding are waiting it is not truly in the space but on the far side. The truth about the space is that we can transverse it with focus commitment dedication and with someone who is willing to scream the truth into our face. Scream it and whisper as we scream and whisper to ourselves. The firefight, the falling rain the wicked lies are all things we do to ourselves in our failed attempts to protect ourselves from the pain.
When I crossed the coals I burned the arch of my right foot. I saw in my mind a flash of bright white light as the coal seared into my flesh. I kept on going. I moved forward and when I stepped into the cool grass on the other side I was awakened. I now know that I can step into that space again and again. I can even be burned and still move forward and reach the other side. Because of that literal experience I now look forward to more spaces.
I am truly grateful to my beautiful friend Barb for whispering into my ear.
The lyrics…Dave Matthews Band…Under the Table and Dreaming
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain…
This is the one side. The side I have been on for many years. It is the side of the space where we, I, cry and laugh and remain to “keep safe from the pain”. What I have learned is that when we step out onto the coals, with help from a soul that knows, we may leave some of what we are behind but we gain.
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain…
Then there is that other side. And if we are hiding are waiting it is not truly in the space but on the far side. The truth about the space is that we can transverse it with focus commitment dedication and with someone who is willing to scream the truth into our face. Scream it and whisper as we scream and whisper to ourselves. The firefight, the falling rain the wicked lies are all things we do to ourselves in our failed attempts to protect ourselves from the pain.
When I crossed the coals I burned the arch of my right foot. I saw in my mind a flash of bright white light as the coal seared into my flesh. I kept on going. I moved forward and when I stepped into the cool grass on the other side I was awakened. I now know that I can step into that space again and again. I can even be burned and still move forward and reach the other side. Because of that literal experience I now look forward to more spaces.
I am truly grateful to my beautiful friend Barb for whispering into my ear.
The lyrics…Dave Matthews Band…Under the Table and Dreaming
Monday, March 10, 2008
Help I have done it again
I watched the final 9 minutes of the final episode of Six Feet Under on Youtube. I looked it up as I wanted to hear that haunting song again. Breathe Me by Sia. What an incredible show with an incredible ending. It slides into me and draws out so many feelings; loss, anxiety, hope and fear. It makes me still, and, really I find myself sad about life more so than happy. Perhaps it is my age.
“Help I have done it again, I have been here many times before". How I relate to that so clearly. How many times must I do this to myself? Lose track, repeat the same pattern, and make the same mistake. How many times before I will get it and choose a different path. Maybe there is no other path to choose.
“Ouch, I have lost myself again”, yes I do that as well. The upside here is that to know this one must discover oneself again. It is time to get caught up in the grandeur of that discovery instead of getting bogged down in the loss. The loss is, after all, in the past.
Then there is the xylophone, or at least what I believe to be a xylophone. On so many levels those notes speak to me. It plays in my bones and I hear it say “get to it Roy, time is running away from you. Now is the all that is and it’s fleeting.
The images that pass along the way as well, as Sia sings that soulful tune. Their lives play out and I have that sense of passing. Have I done the things I wanted? Will I have a chance tomorrow to say hello or goodbye? Will I have the love I long for?
I stop hearing the words of that song; I get lost in all the other experiences of it. I ride up and down and in the end I am just with the notes. The ending. The fading to white as the crescendo dies and I am left alone, longing. I wonder if I will ever have another face to touch. I wonder if I will ever look into his eyes and know the meaning of everything and nothing.
“Help I have done it again, I have been here many times before". How I relate to that so clearly. How many times must I do this to myself? Lose track, repeat the same pattern, and make the same mistake. How many times before I will get it and choose a different path. Maybe there is no other path to choose.
“Ouch, I have lost myself again”, yes I do that as well. The upside here is that to know this one must discover oneself again. It is time to get caught up in the grandeur of that discovery instead of getting bogged down in the loss. The loss is, after all, in the past.
Then there is the xylophone, or at least what I believe to be a xylophone. On so many levels those notes speak to me. It plays in my bones and I hear it say “get to it Roy, time is running away from you. Now is the all that is and it’s fleeting.
The images that pass along the way as well, as Sia sings that soulful tune. Their lives play out and I have that sense of passing. Have I done the things I wanted? Will I have a chance tomorrow to say hello or goodbye? Will I have the love I long for?
I stop hearing the words of that song; I get lost in all the other experiences of it. I ride up and down and in the end I am just with the notes. The ending. The fading to white as the crescendo dies and I am left alone, longing. I wonder if I will ever have another face to touch. I wonder if I will ever look into his eyes and know the meaning of everything and nothing.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Late Nights
I am up at 2:40am. I am tired but awake a situation I think I owe to my eldest sister. My phone rang at midnight and it woke me from my rather light sleep, I am guessing it was her calling. I was on the edge anyway, it was not a very good sleep. I had gone to bed without brushing my teeth. I don't usually do that but that's the way it worked out this evening. When the phone woke me up I realized I was having this very odd dream which I cannot explain. It involved a BMW SUV and my "unbrushed" teeth. I got up and brushed them, my teeth, and instead of getting back into bed I came up stairs. I started flipping TV channels, which doesn't take long when you only have basic cable. I now find myself online, surfing and blogging. The picture included here is what got me blogging. I was "googling" (what happened to all the other search engines???) random words. No, not sex or naked or lust words like "taken" which lead me to a documentary by Avi Lewis (I tried to find the link but this time around it did not come up. No big deal really. If you really want some interesting links about Avi check out Rondi's site and click around). Ironic because what got me started was Rondi's blog and an item she had about Avi Lewis. Anyway, I also "googled" "became" and read an interesting story about how Hitler got control of Germany. An interesting comment in the article about how scared populations easily give up their civil liberties. Things that make me go hmmmmmmm. The best thing I stumbled upon was this image, quite by accident when I "googled" "tired" and Google offered up some images. Maybe now I can get some sleep too.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Heart Stroke and Food Lables
I watched an episode of Market Place on the Heart and Stroke foundation's heart healthy logo. Big surprise, the logo is meaningless. It reflects products that may have reduced salt or fat content, however, it does not mean that product is the healthiest choice. Further, it does not rate all foods, only products from companies that are willing to pay for the use of the logo. Although this is a great way for H&S to raise funds, it does not provide meaningful information to consumers.
Two things struck me when I watched the program.
1) Does anyone really believe that anything made by Vachon is healthy? Further, when you pick up a bag of french fries do you think you are making a healthy choice? Tastes great and healthy are not one in the same. Even with a heart logo on a Vachon product I know that I am eating crap. High sugar content and lousy ingredients. It is a cake after all what would I expect?
2) Somewhere along the line the woman that Represented the H&S program lost her believe in said program. She was struggling to support and back it up and under fire she was shot down. Perhaps she did not have the knowledge of the program to answer the questions. It was, however, clear to me that she did not have the passion or the vision to be speaking for the Heart logo.
The rest of the piece discussed other food check systems. I fail to see why we need one. I think we all know that buying frozen dinners and bags of french fries is really not the way to go. If we want to be heart smart and healthy buying fresh line caught salmon and having a salad is the way to do it. I think if we are honest about it the issue would go away. I love junk food, I over eat junk food and that is why I am out of shape. No mystery to me and I do not need a logo or a food check system to figure it out. When I am ready I will buy that salmon and pick up some cucumbers and a couple of tomatoes. I will also hit the gym. I'll cut back on refined sugar and stop buying cookies and food that comes in cans and boxes. I wont rely on H&S or any other marketing machine to show me what is healthy. There are lots of unbiased sources to research to find the truth. Here is one: Dr. Oz's and Dr. Roizen's site There are others as well. If you want to eat well and feed your children a healthy diet pull yourself out of the world of brands and marketing and just get back to the basics.
Two things struck me when I watched the program.
1) Does anyone really believe that anything made by Vachon is healthy? Further, when you pick up a bag of french fries do you think you are making a healthy choice? Tastes great and healthy are not one in the same. Even with a heart logo on a Vachon product I know that I am eating crap. High sugar content and lousy ingredients. It is a cake after all what would I expect?
2) Somewhere along the line the woman that Represented the H&S program lost her believe in said program. She was struggling to support and back it up and under fire she was shot down. Perhaps she did not have the knowledge of the program to answer the questions. It was, however, clear to me that she did not have the passion or the vision to be speaking for the Heart logo.
The rest of the piece discussed other food check systems. I fail to see why we need one. I think we all know that buying frozen dinners and bags of french fries is really not the way to go. If we want to be heart smart and healthy buying fresh line caught salmon and having a salad is the way to do it. I think if we are honest about it the issue would go away. I love junk food, I over eat junk food and that is why I am out of shape. No mystery to me and I do not need a logo or a food check system to figure it out. When I am ready I will buy that salmon and pick up some cucumbers and a couple of tomatoes. I will also hit the gym. I'll cut back on refined sugar and stop buying cookies and food that comes in cans and boxes. I wont rely on H&S or any other marketing machine to show me what is healthy. There are lots of unbiased sources to research to find the truth. Here is one: Dr. Oz's and Dr. Roizen's site There are others as well. If you want to eat well and feed your children a healthy diet pull yourself out of the world of brands and marketing and just get back to the basics.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Pit Bull Ban
The Toronto Star ran a story today about a Pit Bull that escaped the yard of its home. This is what our city Politicians spend our tax dollars on. Killing dogs. What escapes me (and it is not my dog I have a shepherd and they like to stick close) is how anyone thinks banning an animal solves the problem. So once again for those of you that do not get it. it is not the dog, it is the owner. Dog's know exactly how to be dogs. It is us Humans that screw them all up.
Consider this as well. Those that have uncontrollable viscous Pit Bulls are most likely drug dealers (ok a stereo type perhaps but check it out). Why would a ban make any difference to someone that is actively breaking a federal law? The ban makes the situation worse. It drives people to hide their dogs which means the dogs are not socialized properly. Which means the dogs are more of a threat; which is of course not the dog's fault. If we truly want to improve the situation we need to licence dog owners, not the dogs. Before you can buy, own, breed or keep a dog you should have to write an exam on the topic of dogs. Then we can hold you accountable for the behaviour of your dog. It is pretty simple but I hazard a guess that passing a useless ban on an innocent animal gained more votes than doing something intelligent. Humans!
I hope that she wins the case and saves her dog. Not to mention all the other dogs her victory would save.
Consider this as well. Those that have uncontrollable viscous Pit Bulls are most likely drug dealers (ok a stereo type perhaps but check it out). Why would a ban make any difference to someone that is actively breaking a federal law? The ban makes the situation worse. It drives people to hide their dogs which means the dogs are not socialized properly. Which means the dogs are more of a threat; which is of course not the dog's fault. If we truly want to improve the situation we need to licence dog owners, not the dogs. Before you can buy, own, breed or keep a dog you should have to write an exam on the topic of dogs. Then we can hold you accountable for the behaviour of your dog. It is pretty simple but I hazard a guess that passing a useless ban on an innocent animal gained more votes than doing something intelligent. Humans!
I hope that she wins the case and saves her dog. Not to mention all the other dogs her victory would save.
These two songs...
I love to rock to these two songs. Timbaland is quite something. I have not taken the time to figure out who and what he is, but he brought together some great talent and produced a great album. As for Good Charlotte, I wonder why they do not get much radio play. Every time I tune in I am hearing about tears on my guitar and tattooed hearts. Blah blah blah. Apologize gets a lot of air play too. Being on Timbaland's album I am liking the song but why do we have to hear it every hour on the hour? I would like to start my own radio station. On the Internet so as to avoid all the rules that plague FM radio. I play all kinds of stuff, never a dull moment on radioroy!
Check out:
www.goodcharlotte.com You can play videos that pop up in another window. Play Dance Floor Anthem, loud, really loud. Check out The River as well, it is voted most popular song.
www.timbalandmusic.com Play all of it...
Check out:
www.goodcharlotte.com You can play videos that pop up in another window. Play Dance Floor Anthem, loud, really loud. Check out The River as well, it is voted most popular song.
www.timbalandmusic.com Play all of it...
Monday, December 31, 2007
Starbucks my friend
I started going to Starbucks in 2000 when I worked for Roger's. It began by going with a fellow manager. I went with him to get the hell out of the office not to go to Starbucks. Eventually I started asking him and the Barista's about the drink he was ordering. I wanted to know what it tasted like. I tried it, finally, but only after they all assured me there was no coffee in it (I do not like coffee). The drink was a Grande Soy no water no foam Tazo Chai. A little piece of heaven that has grown into a daily addiction.
Once I had tasted it I was hooked. I started going to SB all on my own. I had a new confidence in ordering. I had figured out enough of the secret coffee language to do that. It also served as a way to escape the horrors of work. When one works in an oppressed negative environment the comfy chairs of the local SB are even more inviting. Although I know that SB is a large corporation and for the most part I do not like those beasts either I have failed to find another coffee shop that can make a soy chai latte that equals SB. I have tried Timothy's, Second Cup and Balsac's. The first two use a powder, just awful. Balsac's as I recall used a syrup, as does SB, but it was awful as well. I am left with SB.
I recently spotted this article concerning SB's opening practises. Despite all the hype and complainers it looks like the little green coffee shop makes it for all the others. Although I am sure SB has an evil side I have been able to avoid seeing it. They build schools in poverty stricken coffee countries and make a mean chai latte. What could be wrong with all that?
PS. Check out Rondi's blog which indirectly lead me to the SB article. She has deeper more meaningful blog entries. Worldly issues that impact us all. Every now and then we meet up at SB (sorry Rondi if I am outing you) and we drink lattes and talk about all the humans that have no clue. We never run out of things to say on that topic!
Once I had tasted it I was hooked. I started going to SB all on my own. I had a new confidence in ordering. I had figured out enough of the secret coffee language to do that. It also served as a way to escape the horrors of work. When one works in an oppressed negative environment the comfy chairs of the local SB are even more inviting. Although I know that SB is a large corporation and for the most part I do not like those beasts either I have failed to find another coffee shop that can make a soy chai latte that equals SB. I have tried Timothy's, Second Cup and Balsac's. The first two use a powder, just awful. Balsac's as I recall used a syrup, as does SB, but it was awful as well. I am left with SB.
I recently spotted this article concerning SB's opening practises. Despite all the hype and complainers it looks like the little green coffee shop makes it for all the others. Although I am sure SB has an evil side I have been able to avoid seeing it. They build schools in poverty stricken coffee countries and make a mean chai latte. What could be wrong with all that?
PS. Check out Rondi's blog which indirectly lead me to the SB article. She has deeper more meaningful blog entries. Worldly issues that impact us all. Every now and then we meet up at SB (sorry Rondi if I am outing you) and we drink lattes and talk about all the humans that have no clue. We never run out of things to say on that topic!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Karlheinz Schreiber
Do tell, what is up with Karlheinz Schreiber? It seems obvious to me that this is a ploy to stay in Canada. Why else would he open up a can worms so far after the fact. I also fail to see why we would spend so much money on this. Does it really matter what Mulroney did oh so many years ago? Is it any different than any other PM? I don’t think we went to all this trouble when Cretien did his dirty deeds. We knew what he was up to and we elected him again!
Karlheinz has admitted to committing a crime; he paid Mulroney for favours. Clearly he will say, or not say, whatever he needs to; satisfying his own agenda is his objective. It started off with 300 hundred thousand now it is 5. He could easily say it was a million. Who cares? Besides isn’t there a statute of limitations on these things? I say let’s kick Schreiber out of the country. Then we can set aside the whole investigation thing and save the money. We could put it some good productive use like building affordable housing or paying down the debt. Alas that would never fly. What would all the Politicians have to do then?
Karlheinz has admitted to committing a crime; he paid Mulroney for favours. Clearly he will say, or not say, whatever he needs to; satisfying his own agenda is his objective. It started off with 300 hundred thousand now it is 5. He could easily say it was a million. Who cares? Besides isn’t there a statute of limitations on these things? I say let’s kick Schreiber out of the country. Then we can set aside the whole investigation thing and save the money. We could put it some good productive use like building affordable housing or paying down the debt. Alas that would never fly. What would all the Politicians have to do then?
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Conrad Black's Reservoir
Here is another example of how we refuse to hold each accountable. Conrad Black’s lawyer is arguing that he should receive no more than 29 months. Why? Because “he is a person with a deep reservoir of kindness” and has suffered enough. Right. Suffered in the palatial home he has been staying in. I wonder if Mr. Black has dipped into that deep reservoir and found the kindness to pay everyone back.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Oh the Poor
Poverty. Why is it my problem? Why do poverty organizations seem to think that rich people are the enemy? I look at it as inspiration. From time to time, I delivery flowers to people that live in very large homes in very wealthy neighbourhoods. Do I resent them? No. I usually end up fantasizing about living in one of those homes. Often it’s not the one I am delivering too. Some of them may be big but when you give lots of money to people with no taste it is disaster on a large scale. That, however, would be fodder for another Blog entry. My fantasy often includes thoughts on what I could do, what business I will be running, when I am living in my giant home. I drive my delivery route sipping my Starbucks Chai latte dreaming. No resentment, just big dreams.
I do not resent “rich” people. I know some that have worked very hard for what they have. I know of some that had it handed to them. So what. If you are poor look in the mirror. What has it got to do with you? What responsibility are you taking for your personal situation? Could the government do more, perhaps, but nothing and no one will help you more than yourself. I have often said to my siblings “what the hell is our problem”? We are intelligent people with some great ideas. Why can’t we create income and live large? The answer, put nicely, is that we choose not to. We get caught up in trying to get through our day and life without getting rear-ended (which of course is bullshit on the re-read we just don’t want to put in the extra effort). All that is true but we also do absolutely nothing about it. So, do I expect others to carry me? Sometimes yeah I do, what the hell. Most of the time I don’t and most of the time I know that it comes down to me. So, I fail to see how it is productive to “march on Queen’s park” when they have a BBQ.
I believe in personal accountability. I hate that I do because it is truly inconvenient when I want to just lie around and still have a nice warm bed (which is caving in and getting uncomfortable – do I whine about the price of mattress’s or get out of it earlier and make more money?). The irony here is that it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with taking action in life and going after what you want. You do not need money for that. If you are able bodied and mentally stable then get on with it. Even if you are not able bodied you can still get on with it. I know that from seeing living examples.
I have no issue with anyone taking up a cause. Raising money for this or that, I do it myself. I have no issue with anyone taking up the cause of the poor. What I have an issue with is handing anyone free money (but please do let that stop you from buying me gift certificates or dinner). Welfare or Workfare whatever it is now is just that. Free money. It is unhealthy and creates dependence. What we need is personal accountability and a system that promotes and rewards education and personal development.
Anyone want to help me start Education Financing For Everyone? It is a little project of mine that I have not gotten off the ground, yet.
I do not resent “rich” people. I know some that have worked very hard for what they have. I know of some that had it handed to them. So what. If you are poor look in the mirror. What has it got to do with you? What responsibility are you taking for your personal situation? Could the government do more, perhaps, but nothing and no one will help you more than yourself. I have often said to my siblings “what the hell is our problem”? We are intelligent people with some great ideas. Why can’t we create income and live large? The answer, put nicely, is that we choose not to. We get caught up in trying to get through our day and life without getting rear-ended (which of course is bullshit on the re-read we just don’t want to put in the extra effort). All that is true but we also do absolutely nothing about it. So, do I expect others to carry me? Sometimes yeah I do, what the hell. Most of the time I don’t and most of the time I know that it comes down to me. So, I fail to see how it is productive to “march on Queen’s park” when they have a BBQ.
I believe in personal accountability. I hate that I do because it is truly inconvenient when I want to just lie around and still have a nice warm bed (which is caving in and getting uncomfortable – do I whine about the price of mattress’s or get out of it earlier and make more money?). The irony here is that it has nothing to do with money. It has to do with taking action in life and going after what you want. You do not need money for that. If you are able bodied and mentally stable then get on with it. Even if you are not able bodied you can still get on with it. I know that from seeing living examples.
I have no issue with anyone taking up a cause. Raising money for this or that, I do it myself. I have no issue with anyone taking up the cause of the poor. What I have an issue with is handing anyone free money (but please do let that stop you from buying me gift certificates or dinner). Welfare or Workfare whatever it is now is just that. Free money. It is unhealthy and creates dependence. What we need is personal accountability and a system that promotes and rewards education and personal development.
Anyone want to help me start Education Financing For Everyone? It is a little project of mine that I have not gotten off the ground, yet.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Re: The all wet post...
I wrote that post before reading the article. How devastating for the family. I do feel for them and more so for Shaquille. Just when we thought we had come so far with equality, our children reminds us we have more work to do.
I also noted the comment that the Step Mother stated that she is computer illiterate. Further, she had no idea about the online abuse until Oct. 27. 7 days after his death. Is it cruel to point that out? Like understanding how to feed and nurture a child is the responsibility of the parent so is how to keep them safe. Any parent that purchases or allows a computer in their home and takes no action to protect their child needs to heed the warnings of this incident. One does not need to be computer savvy to hire someone who is.
I also noted the comment that the Step Mother stated that she is computer illiterate. Further, she had no idea about the online abuse until Oct. 27. 7 days after his death. Is it cruel to point that out? Like understanding how to feed and nurture a child is the responsibility of the parent so is how to keep them safe. Any parent that purchases or allows a computer in their home and takes no action to protect their child needs to heed the warnings of this incident. One does not need to be computer savvy to hire someone who is.
I might be all wet on this one...
I have been hearing about cyber bulling. A new concept dreamt up by teenagers to torture those kids they don’t like via the wonderful world of the web. It seems that we as adults try to get control of bullies; likely it is those among us that were victims as kids. As with any attempt to gain control, it will fail. Control is an illusion. It comes down to the concept of power verses force. What we need to teach our children is the idea of power.
I truly feel for the lad that recently committed suicide. The Toronto Sun has his picture on the cover with the headline: “Cyber-bullies drove him to Suicide”. I wonder. I wonder how can someone force me to commit suicide? Is that truly possible? I wonder where this child’s parents were while all this Internet bulling was going on? What action were they taking to stop the “cyber bulling” and what support were they offering their son?
Being an avid Internet user I am mystified by the concept of cyber bulling. Has no one explained to these kids that they can turn the computer off? What about changing Internet chat nic-names and email addresses? What about printing the offending notes and messages and confronting the other child and the parents? What about monitoring your child’s use of the Internet? If your child was doing this over the phone would that go unnoticed as well? I say without a doubt that my parents would have known what I was doing.
I may be simplifying the situation. I just can’t help but wonder how this goes on. I need parents to explain to me how a child can be abused over the Internet to the point that he kills himself. It is so simple to block unwanted email (I get that it only works to a point, however, it is 100% when blocking a known email address or domain) and chat requests. Educate your child on the use of the Internet. Educate yourself for that matter. Are these parents working with their children to help them understand that the person with the serious problem is the abuser not the abused”. I have to believe that the parents of the abused have no clue. That makes me believe that the child’s computer is in their bedroom and the child’s Internet use goes unchecked. I question any parent that feels it’s okay to allow a child to access the net in privacy. It should come as no surprise to you when your child is kidnapped or bullied.
I am laying this all on the parents. It’s time to turn off the TV, shut off the computer and connect with your children. Computers and TV’s have no place in the bedroom. Setting up spam filters and other restrictions on your computer should be the standard. Practice daily open communication about what your children are doing. Take the time to check the computers cache and temporary Internet files. Do not shrug off the responsibility of knowing how to do these things; learn. And if you discover that all those files have been deleted, take that as a sign that your child does not want you to see what they have been doing.
So help me understand how this all works. How it is that some teenage hooligan can get so deep inside your kid’s head that they kill themselves. While your explaining that, please explain how all this happened without your knowledge.
I truly feel for the lad that recently committed suicide. The Toronto Sun has his picture on the cover with the headline: “Cyber-bullies drove him to Suicide”. I wonder. I wonder how can someone force me to commit suicide? Is that truly possible? I wonder where this child’s parents were while all this Internet bulling was going on? What action were they taking to stop the “cyber bulling” and what support were they offering their son?
Being an avid Internet user I am mystified by the concept of cyber bulling. Has no one explained to these kids that they can turn the computer off? What about changing Internet chat nic-names and email addresses? What about printing the offending notes and messages and confronting the other child and the parents? What about monitoring your child’s use of the Internet? If your child was doing this over the phone would that go unnoticed as well? I say without a doubt that my parents would have known what I was doing.
I may be simplifying the situation. I just can’t help but wonder how this goes on. I need parents to explain to me how a child can be abused over the Internet to the point that he kills himself. It is so simple to block unwanted email (I get that it only works to a point, however, it is 100% when blocking a known email address or domain) and chat requests. Educate your child on the use of the Internet. Educate yourself for that matter. Are these parents working with their children to help them understand that the person with the serious problem is the abuser not the abused”. I have to believe that the parents of the abused have no clue. That makes me believe that the child’s computer is in their bedroom and the child’s Internet use goes unchecked. I question any parent that feels it’s okay to allow a child to access the net in privacy. It should come as no surprise to you when your child is kidnapped or bullied.
I am laying this all on the parents. It’s time to turn off the TV, shut off the computer and connect with your children. Computers and TV’s have no place in the bedroom. Setting up spam filters and other restrictions on your computer should be the standard. Practice daily open communication about what your children are doing. Take the time to check the computers cache and temporary Internet files. Do not shrug off the responsibility of knowing how to do these things; learn. And if you discover that all those files have been deleted, take that as a sign that your child does not want you to see what they have been doing.
So help me understand how this all works. How it is that some teenage hooligan can get so deep inside your kid’s head that they kill themselves. While your explaining that, please explain how all this happened without your knowledge.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Deed is done
Yet I have a repreive! I called and disconnected my service. However, Rogers needs to send someone here to my home to disconnect the second outlet. Fine with me. That will happen on April 17, 2007. So, I have the PVR and cable until then. I will do nothing but watch TV from not until then.....
Experimentation - Step 1
I am going for it. Why not? I am going to take the plunge and see what happens. I am going to return my PVR and cancel my digital cable. Oh the stress! I am doing this for two, maybe three, reasons.
1. I cannot afford the service.
2. I eat while I watch TV and that habit has put about 20 pounds of fat onto my body.
3. I want to fill my time with other activities and I am curious about how I will deal with
the change.
The thoughts that are telling me not to do this are many. Things like, what if you get sick? You will want to lie on the couch and watch TV, you wont be able too. When you sit down for dinner what are you going to do? What if you don’t do anything, what if you just end up staring at a dark TV set? I know, start buying DVDs and just watch those. Phew, that was a close one.
I might just end up watching DVDs. I have done that in the past. I suppose that’s not all bad. I could catch up on all the movies I have not seen. I could watch films instead of movies (Rosemary can explain the difference for those that require it) and perhaps gain some culture and new topics to discuss. That would be interesting. I could, just sit, and be still and face my demons.
Regardless, the experiment begins today. I am going to post this on my blog and then contact Rogers. They will try to get me to keep the PVR and stay hooked. I will be strong and will resist their attempts to keep me hooked up. I will insist on returning their device of evil and I will, I will do it! Then I will come home and think oh my lord what have I done!!!!
1. I cannot afford the service.
2. I eat while I watch TV and that habit has put about 20 pounds of fat onto my body.
3. I want to fill my time with other activities and I am curious about how I will deal with
the change.
The thoughts that are telling me not to do this are many. Things like, what if you get sick? You will want to lie on the couch and watch TV, you wont be able too. When you sit down for dinner what are you going to do? What if you don’t do anything, what if you just end up staring at a dark TV set? I know, start buying DVDs and just watch those. Phew, that was a close one.
I might just end up watching DVDs. I have done that in the past. I suppose that’s not all bad. I could catch up on all the movies I have not seen. I could watch films instead of movies (Rosemary can explain the difference for those that require it) and perhaps gain some culture and new topics to discuss. That would be interesting. I could, just sit, and be still and face my demons.
Regardless, the experiment begins today. I am going to post this on my blog and then contact Rogers. They will try to get me to keep the PVR and stay hooked. I will be strong and will resist their attempts to keep me hooked up. I will insist on returning their device of evil and I will, I will do it! Then I will come home and think oh my lord what have I done!!!!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Things I Notice
There is a difference between what we say and what we do. I suppose that is an obvious statement. Here is another one, a statement, that is not perhaps as obvious. I know that there is a difference between what we say is acceptable and what actually is acceptable. Example, I know that it is illegal to leave your dog’s poop on the ground. We are suppose to “stoop and scoop”. I also know, however, that it is acceptable not too. How do I know this? Well, look around next time you are outside. There is dog poop everywhere! No one seems to stoop and scoop in the winter. Some how it is acceptable to leave your dog’s poop wherever it happens fall.
Another example. Apparently if you suffer from any kind of addiction you have a built in escape clause. You can live your life absuing and doing whatever you want. Treating people lile crap, flaunting the rules, whatever.. You can do all this because when you finally get caught you can stand up and blame your addiction. That's right, I am drug addicted and now I see the error of my ways. More like you're sorry you got caught and now you'll use whatever is at your disposal to be let off the hook. How nice that must be for those people out there that choose to abuse pills and alcohol. Just do whatever you want, no worries, when the time comes to face the piper you'll be off the hook. I wonder if my chocolate addiction and some times sex addiction will do the same for me? I wonder, but not all that much as I some how know it wont.
Let’s see what else. How about the street person, that is as I type, lying in the doorway of the office building across the street. He is smoking something and will no doubt leave behind a mess and if we are all really lucky he will pee in the doorway as well (the guy is gone now and he didn’t pee and there is no mess). I know this is ok because it happens all the time and we all just walk on by. I wonder what would happen if I decided to pee in the doorway and throw my garbage there. I have a suspicion that I would be held accountable for my actions. I would be because I have a home and no real addictions to speak of. Why do we have this double standard? If it is okay for him to pee there it’s okay for me.
To continue, what’s with those among us that think it’s okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs? You know the ones, they are walking down the street and they are screaming and yelling “f” this and “f” that. It’s not always street people either. I figure we could have maintained our standards and kept this as one of those things that is not acceptable. I know, however, that it is because not one of us ever says anything. It’s like littering, that’s acceptable as well.
I could go on and on here. Grid locking, that’s more than acceptable, just hang out at any downtown intersection at rush hour. But the one that beats all others, the really big one that we have embraced so deeply. Enabling. Yes, it is totally acceptable to enable all those around us that are dependent or abusive. I think the enablers are worse than the abusers. Without the enablers I think we would have far less “victims” and addicts walking our streets. Keep that in mind the next time you make an excuse for someone.
On the other hand, knowing all this makes it a bit easier to live. Think about it. I can pee wherever I choose and I can toss my litter on the ground. It’s great to know that I do not have to concern myself with picking up after my dog. If everyone else can leave the poop so can I. I am also relieved that I can do drugs at the bottom of the stairwell of the office building next door and I can yell curse words at passers by. I can also have a crap in the park after I have had sex with some random person and then have a bath in the fountain. I can also enable my friends and family, how superior does that makes me feel. The only problem I have is that if I ever get caught and forced to face my behavior I have no addiction to fall back on to save my sorry ass.
Another example. Apparently if you suffer from any kind of addiction you have a built in escape clause. You can live your life absuing and doing whatever you want. Treating people lile crap, flaunting the rules, whatever.. You can do all this because when you finally get caught you can stand up and blame your addiction. That's right, I am drug addicted and now I see the error of my ways. More like you're sorry you got caught and now you'll use whatever is at your disposal to be let off the hook. How nice that must be for those people out there that choose to abuse pills and alcohol. Just do whatever you want, no worries, when the time comes to face the piper you'll be off the hook. I wonder if my chocolate addiction and some times sex addiction will do the same for me? I wonder, but not all that much as I some how know it wont.
Let’s see what else. How about the street person, that is as I type, lying in the doorway of the office building across the street. He is smoking something and will no doubt leave behind a mess and if we are all really lucky he will pee in the doorway as well (the guy is gone now and he didn’t pee and there is no mess). I know this is ok because it happens all the time and we all just walk on by. I wonder what would happen if I decided to pee in the doorway and throw my garbage there. I have a suspicion that I would be held accountable for my actions. I would be because I have a home and no real addictions to speak of. Why do we have this double standard? If it is okay for him to pee there it’s okay for me.
To continue, what’s with those among us that think it’s okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs? You know the ones, they are walking down the street and they are screaming and yelling “f” this and “f” that. It’s not always street people either. I figure we could have maintained our standards and kept this as one of those things that is not acceptable. I know, however, that it is because not one of us ever says anything. It’s like littering, that’s acceptable as well.
I could go on and on here. Grid locking, that’s more than acceptable, just hang out at any downtown intersection at rush hour. But the one that beats all others, the really big one that we have embraced so deeply. Enabling. Yes, it is totally acceptable to enable all those around us that are dependent or abusive. I think the enablers are worse than the abusers. Without the enablers I think we would have far less “victims” and addicts walking our streets. Keep that in mind the next time you make an excuse for someone.
On the other hand, knowing all this makes it a bit easier to live. Think about it. I can pee wherever I choose and I can toss my litter on the ground. It’s great to know that I do not have to concern myself with picking up after my dog. If everyone else can leave the poop so can I. I am also relieved that I can do drugs at the bottom of the stairwell of the office building next door and I can yell curse words at passers by. I can also have a crap in the park after I have had sex with some random person and then have a bath in the fountain. I can also enable my friends and family, how superior does that makes me feel. The only problem I have is that if I ever get caught and forced to face my behavior I have no addiction to fall back on to save my sorry ass.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Small View Large View
The other day I was driving around town delivering flowers (which is fun but can be stressful when the arrangement falls over in the back of the van) and I noticed a large billboard at Bathurst and Eglinton. In very large letters it called out “Never Forget, Never Again”. It is an ad for the UJA’s Holocaust Centre. I drove by thinking; of course never forget never again. Wait a minute hasn’t it already happened again?
I’d rather we were not at war with anyone ever. However, I do not think I am that naïve or idealistic to think that war is totally avoidable. I do believe that we should be very careful about whom we launch bombs onto. We argue up and down about Iraq. What scares me is that we all stand by while genocide lives and thrives. Not to mention truly oppressive governments that deprive their populations of life’s basic requirements. Anyone considered Korea?
Although I understand the message of the UJA’s sign I think they may want to think a little bit bigger picture. I’d say that the message is a bit self-centred. I would like to think that organizations like the UJA would be the first to scream from the rooftops when it happens again. I am all for remembering and for education. We need to work at not repeating our history. I just think we all need to start thinking about everyone. We are not groups; we are all in this together. If you are going to focus on your own group, fine. Let’s just be honest and upfront about it. Perhaps the sign should read “Never Forget about Us, Never Again to Us.
My two cents.
I’d rather we were not at war with anyone ever. However, I do not think I am that naïve or idealistic to think that war is totally avoidable. I do believe that we should be very careful about whom we launch bombs onto. We argue up and down about Iraq. What scares me is that we all stand by while genocide lives and thrives. Not to mention truly oppressive governments that deprive their populations of life’s basic requirements. Anyone considered Korea?
Although I understand the message of the UJA’s sign I think they may want to think a little bit bigger picture. I’d say that the message is a bit self-centred. I would like to think that organizations like the UJA would be the first to scream from the rooftops when it happens again. I am all for remembering and for education. We need to work at not repeating our history. I just think we all need to start thinking about everyone. We are not groups; we are all in this together. If you are going to focus on your own group, fine. Let’s just be honest and upfront about it. Perhaps the sign should read “Never Forget about Us, Never Again to Us.
My two cents.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Purging...
Ok, this idea of purging is great in theory. I, however, am having a difficult time with it in reality. I am going through my tools. You would think this would be easier. You either need that screwdriver or you don’t. But I am making it more than that. It is very overwhelming. I would rather come Blog about it then actually do it!
I have 5 sets of little drawers that my Father used to sort all his screws and needles, files, Dremel tool heads and so on. What in the world do I do with all this stuff??? I think part of it is that I do not want to throw it out. He had all this stuff to make little wooden animals. He used them with the kids. I don’t think the kids would be into having them. The kids are not really kids anymore (well Keenan is but I doubt he wants to sit down and make little creatures from pieces of wood). Maybe Lisa’s kids would want them, who knows? I can ask.
Even that does not help. I still have all this stuff in my apartment. I need to get it out of here. Is it valuable? Am I tossing out something that would go for a million bucks on the Antiques Road show? Damn that Roadshow! That’s the problem. That darn show has made it impossible for me to toss out old plastic drinking cups that look like Starwars characters. I should sue them or maybe just ask them to come over and assess all my belongings. I can tell them that they have caused this “attachment disorder” that I am suffering from and they owe it to me to help me out. I wonder if they would come over? They can tape it and use it on their show. Or maybe turn it into some odd reality show about people that keep things like old plastic Disney characters (those I tossed into the Goodwill bin but I am having second thoughts about it).
What about my unopened figurine of TNG’s Counselor Deanna Troi? I love Deanna how could I ever toss her out? I am keeping her and no one can stop me! Back away from the Deanna figurine! I am going to hide her now. I will take her out when it’s cold and dark and I am lonely. I will talk to her about all my problems and she will whisper sweetly into my ear. The thought of that sends shivers down my body. Maybe she will stroke my face like she does when she is talking to Riker (maybe I should get a figurine of Riker). She will I know she will! I am getting all hard just thinking about it. Have you seen Deanna? Oh my, she is quite something (do straight guys say things like that??). Sort of like Seven of Nine, do they really make girls like that? Anyway, back to Deanna and her soft sweet sultry whispering voice. I will be soothed and comforted and I will sleep like a baby with my Deanna wrapped in my arms. Oh Deanna….
Clearly there is a larger issue here; I shudder to think what my therapist would have to say about that last paragraph. There is an upside, however. I have decided to get rid of the apartment size dryer I have. I have never used it (thank you Nesha for giving it to me). It is taking up a rather large part of the storage space in one of my six closets (thank you Mike M for driving to Mississauga and loading it into your Van with me). When we went to get it Mike made the comment “oh so you just got me to go get a dryer that you are never going to use”. His insight was based on the fact that my apartment does not have a vent for a dryer and the board would not approve one. I had faith however, and figured I would work something out. I even got a stand for it via free to reuse – it’s a yahoo group- but it did not fit. I think that is the writing on the wall. It’s going now. To someone who might just use it.
Okay, I need to go pick up all the screws and electrical tape that is all over the floor in the entryway. Poor Oscar, God love him he is so tolerant. So is Jet for that matter. Oh, I went and got Deanna. She is safe now with me. No one can take her from me. I dare you to try!
I have 5 sets of little drawers that my Father used to sort all his screws and needles, files, Dremel tool heads and so on. What in the world do I do with all this stuff??? I think part of it is that I do not want to throw it out. He had all this stuff to make little wooden animals. He used them with the kids. I don’t think the kids would be into having them. The kids are not really kids anymore (well Keenan is but I doubt he wants to sit down and make little creatures from pieces of wood). Maybe Lisa’s kids would want them, who knows? I can ask.
Even that does not help. I still have all this stuff in my apartment. I need to get it out of here. Is it valuable? Am I tossing out something that would go for a million bucks on the Antiques Road show? Damn that Roadshow! That’s the problem. That darn show has made it impossible for me to toss out old plastic drinking cups that look like Starwars characters. I should sue them or maybe just ask them to come over and assess all my belongings. I can tell them that they have caused this “attachment disorder” that I am suffering from and they owe it to me to help me out. I wonder if they would come over? They can tape it and use it on their show. Or maybe turn it into some odd reality show about people that keep things like old plastic Disney characters (those I tossed into the Goodwill bin but I am having second thoughts about it).
What about my unopened figurine of TNG’s Counselor Deanna Troi? I love Deanna how could I ever toss her out? I am keeping her and no one can stop me! Back away from the Deanna figurine! I am going to hide her now. I will take her out when it’s cold and dark and I am lonely. I will talk to her about all my problems and she will whisper sweetly into my ear. The thought of that sends shivers down my body. Maybe she will stroke my face like she does when she is talking to Riker (maybe I should get a figurine of Riker). She will I know she will! I am getting all hard just thinking about it. Have you seen Deanna? Oh my, she is quite something (do straight guys say things like that??). Sort of like Seven of Nine, do they really make girls like that? Anyway, back to Deanna and her soft sweet sultry whispering voice. I will be soothed and comforted and I will sleep like a baby with my Deanna wrapped in my arms. Oh Deanna….
Clearly there is a larger issue here; I shudder to think what my therapist would have to say about that last paragraph. There is an upside, however. I have decided to get rid of the apartment size dryer I have. I have never used it (thank you Nesha for giving it to me). It is taking up a rather large part of the storage space in one of my six closets (thank you Mike M for driving to Mississauga and loading it into your Van with me). When we went to get it Mike made the comment “oh so you just got me to go get a dryer that you are never going to use”. His insight was based on the fact that my apartment does not have a vent for a dryer and the board would not approve one. I had faith however, and figured I would work something out. I even got a stand for it via free to reuse – it’s a yahoo group- but it did not fit. I think that is the writing on the wall. It’s going now. To someone who might just use it.
Okay, I need to go pick up all the screws and electrical tape that is all over the floor in the entryway. Poor Oscar, God love him he is so tolerant. So is Jet for that matter. Oh, I went and got Deanna. She is safe now with me. No one can take her from me. I dare you to try!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
How much longer?
Man, I just checked the Zodiac predictions page on Sympatico. I have to wait until May? Geez...
Friday, January 19, 2007
I think this is the first one for 07....
Look at this, another gap in my Blog. This time I have a couple of reasons. First, I had Strep Throat. That is killer. If you have had it you know what I am talking about. If you haven’t then count your blessings and pray you never do come in contact with it. I was down for the count for 4 days and it took two more to feel normal again. The key to minimizing the agony is getting antibiotics as soon as possible. Do not wait even an hour. Impose yourself on your Doctor and then run to the pharmacy. Despite getting them fast you will still be dying for at least two days. This time around I had some left over anti-b’s and even though it’s not the wisest thing to do, I took them. I think that helped keep it to a dull roar. However, getting “fresh” ones is and was paramount.
Then on the heels of that Strep, I took of to Halifax. What a great place it is. I also have some amazing friends there. It is so relaxing and quite a change from the pace of downtown Toronto. In the evening, here in Toronto, I may go out for a meal or walk the dogs or go to a how. In Halifax, it’s out to the barn to shovel the horse manure and pitchfork hay to Ruby and Scotch. Between the farm and my friends that live on it, I had a great time. I am looking forward to getting back there.
So, there you go. I hope all of you, my readers (all three of you J) will forgive me. I must be honest and say I could have blogged while I was in Halifax. They have Internet access. Surprising, I know. Halifax is connected to the Internet! Even more surprising is that Subenacadie is connected. Will wonders ever cease…
One entry I could have made is with respect to the current US President. We watched I would say about 5 minutes of his speech. My buddy shut it off saying something about what a moron George W is. I am not all up and versed in politics but I think he is onto something. George does come off as a moron. Is it that tough to read a teleprompter?
Okay, at long last a new entry. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know.
Then on the heels of that Strep, I took of to Halifax. What a great place it is. I also have some amazing friends there. It is so relaxing and quite a change from the pace of downtown Toronto. In the evening, here in Toronto, I may go out for a meal or walk the dogs or go to a how. In Halifax, it’s out to the barn to shovel the horse manure and pitchfork hay to Ruby and Scotch. Between the farm and my friends that live on it, I had a great time. I am looking forward to getting back there.
So, there you go. I hope all of you, my readers (all three of you J) will forgive me. I must be honest and say I could have blogged while I was in Halifax. They have Internet access. Surprising, I know. Halifax is connected to the Internet! Even more surprising is that Subenacadie is connected. Will wonders ever cease…
One entry I could have made is with respect to the current US President. We watched I would say about 5 minutes of his speech. My buddy shut it off saying something about what a moron George W is. I am not all up and versed in politics but I think he is onto something. George does come off as a moron. Is it that tough to read a teleprompter?
Okay, at long last a new entry. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
What, another year has gone by?
I have been wondering about things, things like Darfur and hunger and people that live on the street. I hear stories about poverty and people living without water and power. I think, why do they not get together and create something better for themselves? Why do people insist on waiting for the government? Is it that they do not know any better?
I believe that it is up to us to make our situation better or different. We need to do this on a personal level and a global level. I have friends, and no doubt myself included at times, that have no tolerance for street people. It’s the “pull up your bootstraps” mentality. Although I believe, strongly, in personal accountability I struggle with the idea (and my agreement with it) that it is time for all us to stop being so “self” focused. So where does personal accountability meet asking for help? I think that’s it actually. If you were personally responsible then you would ask for help when you need it. No shame in that. I suppose for the rest of us the challenge is ensuring that help is there when someone asks for it.
For me, this is the year I stop telling myself “I don’t know how”. It’s a destructive action impairing little voice inside me that has prevented me from creating and being what I want to be. For example: Darfur. I wonder what I could do to make a difference. It troubles me that people are being slaughtered while I enjoy my latte (do not confuse this with guilt, I do not feel guilty that I can have a latte I do not think we have to give up our accomplishments or success’s to care for or assist those around us). I would like to help, make a difference stand and be counted in some way. How? Should I go there? How would I do that? What difference would it make to go there? Maybe if we all went there and saw it for ourselves we would all get up and take a stand and make a change, but how?
That’s a large issue; the “I don’t how” voice impacts me in little ways as well. I want to get into doing some educational seminars for dog owners. How do I do that? Where would I get the money? I don’t know how. I would love to create a charity that pays for people to educate themselves. Not in the OSAP (is it still called that) kind of a way. I believe that any education, any course a person wants to take is of value. However, for many of us we simply do not have the funds to pay $400.00 for a baking course at George Brown. Try to getting funding for a baking course. I am pretty sure funding for a course you want to take here and there does not exist. I think it should. Take the course and we will pay for it, or pay for part of it. If someone wants to better themselves I would like to help them out, but how? The Educational Fund Charity has lived only in my thoughts. I have a partial mission statement and have no doubt that getting funds would be the easy part. For me it’s getting past that voice inside me that keeps insisting, “I don’t know how”.
This year, 2007, is the year to look in a different direction. It’s time to leave the Pirate cookies (can I really leave them? I love them and they love me ohhh so much) and get up off the couch. It’s time to believe that I not only know how, but I can. It’s time to take a page out of Wayne’s notebook and persist and create despite the easier route of giving in. In the morning when I want to stay in bed I need to think of my friend Wayne. Wayne is dealing with impairments suffered in a motorcycle accident. Wayne has not once complained to me about his situation. He expresses his frustration but he also shares his determination. The other day he told me about his plans. He has decided to take a new direction; he accepts that he has too. It may be unfair, it may be frustrating, but it is required. A simple fact based on a catastrophic even that occurred through no fault of his own. I draw my inspiration from his determination and no doubt I can gain my own power and strength to create from his. 2007 is going to be the year of knowing how. 2007 is going to be the year of accomplishments and being in service of others. 2007 is the year of knowing and taking action. I challenge you all, and ask you all, to join me.
I believe that it is up to us to make our situation better or different. We need to do this on a personal level and a global level. I have friends, and no doubt myself included at times, that have no tolerance for street people. It’s the “pull up your bootstraps” mentality. Although I believe, strongly, in personal accountability I struggle with the idea (and my agreement with it) that it is time for all us to stop being so “self” focused. So where does personal accountability meet asking for help? I think that’s it actually. If you were personally responsible then you would ask for help when you need it. No shame in that. I suppose for the rest of us the challenge is ensuring that help is there when someone asks for it.
For me, this is the year I stop telling myself “I don’t know how”. It’s a destructive action impairing little voice inside me that has prevented me from creating and being what I want to be. For example: Darfur. I wonder what I could do to make a difference. It troubles me that people are being slaughtered while I enjoy my latte (do not confuse this with guilt, I do not feel guilty that I can have a latte I do not think we have to give up our accomplishments or success’s to care for or assist those around us). I would like to help, make a difference stand and be counted in some way. How? Should I go there? How would I do that? What difference would it make to go there? Maybe if we all went there and saw it for ourselves we would all get up and take a stand and make a change, but how?
That’s a large issue; the “I don’t how” voice impacts me in little ways as well. I want to get into doing some educational seminars for dog owners. How do I do that? Where would I get the money? I don’t know how. I would love to create a charity that pays for people to educate themselves. Not in the OSAP (is it still called that) kind of a way. I believe that any education, any course a person wants to take is of value. However, for many of us we simply do not have the funds to pay $400.00 for a baking course at George Brown. Try to getting funding for a baking course. I am pretty sure funding for a course you want to take here and there does not exist. I think it should. Take the course and we will pay for it, or pay for part of it. If someone wants to better themselves I would like to help them out, but how? The Educational Fund Charity has lived only in my thoughts. I have a partial mission statement and have no doubt that getting funds would be the easy part. For me it’s getting past that voice inside me that keeps insisting, “I don’t know how”.
This year, 2007, is the year to look in a different direction. It’s time to leave the Pirate cookies (can I really leave them? I love them and they love me ohhh so much) and get up off the couch. It’s time to believe that I not only know how, but I can. It’s time to take a page out of Wayne’s notebook and persist and create despite the easier route of giving in. In the morning when I want to stay in bed I need to think of my friend Wayne. Wayne is dealing with impairments suffered in a motorcycle accident. Wayne has not once complained to me about his situation. He expresses his frustration but he also shares his determination. The other day he told me about his plans. He has decided to take a new direction; he accepts that he has too. It may be unfair, it may be frustrating, but it is required. A simple fact based on a catastrophic even that occurred through no fault of his own. I draw my inspiration from his determination and no doubt I can gain my own power and strength to create from his. 2007 is going to be the year of knowing how. 2007 is going to be the year of accomplishments and being in service of others. 2007 is the year of knowing and taking action. I challenge you all, and ask you all, to join me.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Hussein Swings - Accountability?
As we all know Saddam was hanged, I believe at 6am Saturday morning. I see no cause for celebration. I have read comments like “it’s George Bush’s turn next” and the obvious that Saddam deserved it. I wondering if he did I wonder about how he was able to commit such crimes. As human beings we simple accept far to much; we remain inactive while horrible crimes against our fellow man occur. We pursue murders in our own towns and cities. I think that that must be easy. Or perhaps the murders are inconvenient to those that are “in charge”. So we take the time to deal with it. Even so it amazes me how easily we allow each other off the hook. In the tiniest ways and in the largest ways we do not hold each other accountable. Why is this so difficult for us?
I imagine, in the case of Saddam it seemed like to large an issue. So, we allowed this man to control and kill thousands. We all sat back and did our thing while he did his. We all share in this shame. I truly believe that it is time to stop shifting blame; whether it be on our leaders or on ourselves. Whether the dispute is international, local or between one and other we need to stand up and speak the truth. I know it sounds easy and I get that sometimes the truth is known but not easy to prove. I still say that years prior to the US invading Iraq there was enough evidence to take down the man that was killing a country. I hazard a wild guess that we had far more evidence of his killings than we did of his weapons of mass destruction.
Bottom line here for me, there is no pleasure in any killing. I take no pleasure in his death. I think it is unfortunate that we waited so long to take action; we failed to help out when it would have truly mattered. I feel frustrated and uncertain of what to do because we keep repeating this error of inaction over and over again. I think that if we start, first with ourselves and then with those around us, to hold everyone accountable for their actions we would all be in a better place.
I imagine, in the case of Saddam it seemed like to large an issue. So, we allowed this man to control and kill thousands. We all sat back and did our thing while he did his. We all share in this shame. I truly believe that it is time to stop shifting blame; whether it be on our leaders or on ourselves. Whether the dispute is international, local or between one and other we need to stand up and speak the truth. I know it sounds easy and I get that sometimes the truth is known but not easy to prove. I still say that years prior to the US invading Iraq there was enough evidence to take down the man that was killing a country. I hazard a wild guess that we had far more evidence of his killings than we did of his weapons of mass destruction.
Bottom line here for me, there is no pleasure in any killing. I take no pleasure in his death. I think it is unfortunate that we waited so long to take action; we failed to help out when it would have truly mattered. I feel frustrated and uncertain of what to do because we keep repeating this error of inaction over and over again. I think that if we start, first with ourselves and then with those around us, to hold everyone accountable for their actions we would all be in a better place.
A Very Important New Year Issue....
This Monday is a holiday, New Years Day. I pointed this out to a friend of mine, Pam, the other day while we were walking through the Eaton Centre. Of course she was more than aware of this fact. I then asked her if this would be the last long weekend of the year (2006) or the first long weekend of next year. Pam had a funny reaction to this obvious conundrum; her funny laugh and those bright eyes of hers lit up.
Pam then called me on it and asked me which one it would be, the last long weekend or the first. I presented the argument that the holiday actually falls in the new year so it could be considered the first long weekend. Of course, I then pointed out the counter argument that the majority of the weekend was in this year and it could be argued that the majority rules and it really is the last long weekend of the year. Pam accused me of being a politician so I was forced to make a decision. Here it is, my decisions and of course as with all my decision this one is binding.
It is the first long weekend on 2007. The holiday falls in 2007, therefore; the entire holiday weekend is considered to be in 2007. So, there you go this burning issue is now resolved. Debate closed. Enjoy this, the first long weekend of 2007. Use it wisely. Party smart and have a great New Years Eve. When you get up Monday afternoon, shake yourself off and forgo making any resolutions. Make clear measurable goals and make 2007 the year of years!
Pam then called me on it and asked me which one it would be, the last long weekend or the first. I presented the argument that the holiday actually falls in the new year so it could be considered the first long weekend. Of course, I then pointed out the counter argument that the majority of the weekend was in this year and it could be argued that the majority rules and it really is the last long weekend of the year. Pam accused me of being a politician so I was forced to make a decision. Here it is, my decisions and of course as with all my decision this one is binding.
It is the first long weekend on 2007. The holiday falls in 2007, therefore; the entire holiday weekend is considered to be in 2007. So, there you go this burning issue is now resolved. Debate closed. Enjoy this, the first long weekend of 2007. Use it wisely. Party smart and have a great New Years Eve. When you get up Monday afternoon, shake yourself off and forgo making any resolutions. Make clear measurable goals and make 2007 the year of years!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Matthew and the Preacher Teacher
I was just watching 360 with Anderson Cooper (here is his site…I could not find anything on here about Matthew but I did run into Anderson….so all in all it was worth it – have a peek Anderson Cooper). He had Matthew on his show. Matthew is a student in the US that recorded his teacher “preaching” during the class. Matthew recorded the teacher because he did not think that anyone would believe him when he filed his complaint against the Teacher. The Teacher was preaching his brand of religion during the US history class. The Teacher had a pretty strong message for the students. Evolution is not a science and if you do not believe in God and Heaven then you belong in hell. Nice, this guy is exactly what we need in our classrooms.
Matthew filed a complaint with the Principal of the school. After some persistence on Matthew's, they had a meeting. Surprise, the Teacher denied making any religious statements. I wonder why the Teacher would deny what he believes in? Do you think he knew he was not supposed to be doing such things? Of course he knew he had over stepped and I would hazzard a guess he figured the Principal would believe him, a God fearing Teacher, over a student. And that is exactly what happened, the Principal believed the Teacher. It is always easier to believe the Teacher and avoid actually having to do something. Matthew then revealed that he had taped the classes. Matthew had the lying Preacher Teacher on tape. Good for you Matthew! Way to play authority at their own game!!!
So far the school has not taken any action. The Teacher is still there and doing what he has always done. Preaching. The Teacher has not been asked to set the record straight or apologize to the students. No surprise here. If this had been the other way around, the student would be expelled. There have been comments made that Matthew violated the Teacher’s rights. Interesting that there is concern for the Teacher’s rights, yes let’s protect the lying Preacher Teacher. What about the student’s rights? I am not sure how Matthew violated the Teacher. The Teacher has no expectation of privacy while teaching. Quite the opposite if you ask me. Teachers should expect that anyone might be listening at any time.
Matthew taped the Teacher because he did not have faith that anyone would believe him. He felt that the powers that be needed to know what was going on in his class. It’s unfortunate that he had to tape the Teacher to ensure that the something would be done. Clearly Matthew knows the people he is dealing with; he knew he needed recorded evidence to force the Teacher and the Principal to act. I wonder if Matthew was the first student to bring this to the Principal’s attention. I doubt it; he was just smart enough to collect the evidence.
Matthew has received death threats. That does not surprise me either. I often wonder why religious people feel they need to threaten the lives of people that do not share their beliefs. Are their beliefs so fragile? I think that they are. When you rely on a book full of contradictions and imaginary events, you would have to resort to killing to keep it alive.
Stand strong Matthew, there are more behind you than you know.
Matthew filed a complaint with the Principal of the school. After some persistence on Matthew's, they had a meeting. Surprise, the Teacher denied making any religious statements. I wonder why the Teacher would deny what he believes in? Do you think he knew he was not supposed to be doing such things? Of course he knew he had over stepped and I would hazzard a guess he figured the Principal would believe him, a God fearing Teacher, over a student. And that is exactly what happened, the Principal believed the Teacher. It is always easier to believe the Teacher and avoid actually having to do something. Matthew then revealed that he had taped the classes. Matthew had the lying Preacher Teacher on tape. Good for you Matthew! Way to play authority at their own game!!!
So far the school has not taken any action. The Teacher is still there and doing what he has always done. Preaching. The Teacher has not been asked to set the record straight or apologize to the students. No surprise here. If this had been the other way around, the student would be expelled. There have been comments made that Matthew violated the Teacher’s rights. Interesting that there is concern for the Teacher’s rights, yes let’s protect the lying Preacher Teacher. What about the student’s rights? I am not sure how Matthew violated the Teacher. The Teacher has no expectation of privacy while teaching. Quite the opposite if you ask me. Teachers should expect that anyone might be listening at any time.
Matthew taped the Teacher because he did not have faith that anyone would believe him. He felt that the powers that be needed to know what was going on in his class. It’s unfortunate that he had to tape the Teacher to ensure that the something would be done. Clearly Matthew knows the people he is dealing with; he knew he needed recorded evidence to force the Teacher and the Principal to act. I wonder if Matthew was the first student to bring this to the Principal’s attention. I doubt it; he was just smart enough to collect the evidence.
Matthew has received death threats. That does not surprise me either. I often wonder why religious people feel they need to threaten the lives of people that do not share their beliefs. Are their beliefs so fragile? I think that they are. When you rely on a book full of contradictions and imaginary events, you would have to resort to killing to keep it alive.
Stand strong Matthew, there are more behind you than you know.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Some Declarations - In no particular order
I like Oprah. Although I am not going to go as far as saying I am a “fan”. Except for the celebrity circle jerk episodes, which I erase, I like her show.
I am pro choice, although I do struggle with the thought of “killing” an unborn child. I also think that women should not have it both ways. You should need to have the Father involved to have an abortion (with the obvious exception of rape). It took two create it. If you expect child support if you have the little one then you should have to have the Father’s input to have an abortion. It works both ways.
I think car alarms should be banned. They are the ultimate in self-centered technology. No one cares about your car. No one will call the police when the alarm goes off. We are just annoyed by it and the fact that you don’t come running back to your car to shut it off. Fine for an over active car alarm? $5000.00 or 500 hours community service.
I think dog owners should require the license, not the dog.
We should not cater to those of us that insist on playing the victim. Get help and leave the rest of us alone.
I like the music of the Backstreet Boys. I also like the Scorpions and Madonna. I enjoy classical music but more often then not I am blasting Elton John or George Michael from my stereo speakers. I also like Kelly Clarkson and Linkin Park.
I go crazy over stupid things like a Judge ordering a Christmas tree removed. What? Get over it. If you are that much of a victim that a Christmas tree offends you, go get help! That Judge needs a kick in the ass too!
I’d rather sleep in then get up for any reason. I am lost in my idea that I don’t know how. I can be very organized but my desk, right now, is a mess.
I have no clue when someone is coming on to me. None. Surprise I am single!
I am pro choice, although I do struggle with the thought of “killing” an unborn child. I also think that women should not have it both ways. You should need to have the Father involved to have an abortion (with the obvious exception of rape). It took two create it. If you expect child support if you have the little one then you should have to have the Father’s input to have an abortion. It works both ways.
I think car alarms should be banned. They are the ultimate in self-centered technology. No one cares about your car. No one will call the police when the alarm goes off. We are just annoyed by it and the fact that you don’t come running back to your car to shut it off. Fine for an over active car alarm? $5000.00 or 500 hours community service.
I think dog owners should require the license, not the dog.
We should not cater to those of us that insist on playing the victim. Get help and leave the rest of us alone.
I like the music of the Backstreet Boys. I also like the Scorpions and Madonna. I enjoy classical music but more often then not I am blasting Elton John or George Michael from my stereo speakers. I also like Kelly Clarkson and Linkin Park.
I go crazy over stupid things like a Judge ordering a Christmas tree removed. What? Get over it. If you are that much of a victim that a Christmas tree offends you, go get help! That Judge needs a kick in the ass too!
I’d rather sleep in then get up for any reason. I am lost in my idea that I don’t know how. I can be very organized but my desk, right now, is a mess.
I have no clue when someone is coming on to me. None. Surprise I am single!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I just noticed....
that Vogue has come out with a Men's version of their magazine. How nice. Now men can get eating disorders and have poor body images as well. Thanks Vogue.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
A Brillant idea?
I might be giving Harper to much credit for this, however I have to think that his same sex marriage scheme paid off. Consider, he takes a stand against the issue to win the election. He then promises to reopen this tired old debate. He follows through on that promise and I think he knows it’s a losing proposition. The debate happens and everyone gets to have their say. Then the vote. Surprise, the motion to reopen the issue is defeated. I think Harper knew all along that it would be.
That was the whole idea. Let’s take a stand and make a promise. We can keep it because we know it’s win win. If the debate is reopened, great. We please all those ultra conservatives that think same sex marriage should be banished. We debate the entire issue over again and regardless of the outcome we kept our promise. Same holds true if the debate is not reopened. That’s all right because we kept our promise to give it a try. What can we do, it was defeated.
After the defeat we announce that the issue is dead. We will never open it again. Wow, who is the hero know? He keeps his promises and closes the debate. Everyone is happy! Everyone is happy if you are falling for the act. Politics is all about appearances. Honest, taking a stand, believing in an issue or having principals doesn’t enter into it. All you have to do is look good, to get the votes and stay in power. In the end they are all the same. It may sound like I have no faith but I do and I vote. I believe in that power and I would rather have it then not. Still, we need to be more diligent and hold these people to a higher standard.
So no doubt Harper is happy with his little same sex game. I must say it was impressive. Just remember that he voted in favour of reopening the debate. Regardless of what he says now, he does not believe that we are equal.
That was the whole idea. Let’s take a stand and make a promise. We can keep it because we know it’s win win. If the debate is reopened, great. We please all those ultra conservatives that think same sex marriage should be banished. We debate the entire issue over again and regardless of the outcome we kept our promise. Same holds true if the debate is not reopened. That’s all right because we kept our promise to give it a try. What can we do, it was defeated.
After the defeat we announce that the issue is dead. We will never open it again. Wow, who is the hero know? He keeps his promises and closes the debate. Everyone is happy! Everyone is happy if you are falling for the act. Politics is all about appearances. Honest, taking a stand, believing in an issue or having principals doesn’t enter into it. All you have to do is look good, to get the votes and stay in power. In the end they are all the same. It may sound like I have no faith but I do and I vote. I believe in that power and I would rather have it then not. Still, we need to be more diligent and hold these people to a higher standard.
So no doubt Harper is happy with his little same sex game. I must say it was impressive. Just remember that he voted in favour of reopening the debate. Regardless of what he says now, he does not believe that we are equal.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
A tribute to Taima - 2001 to 2006
Taima is, as you can see, a spectacular Samoyed. She was a loving wonderful dog and was deeply loved and cared for by her friends and family. Taima died on Thursday in a freak accident that no one could anticipate (the details of which are not necessary to share here). I wanted to pay tribute to Tamia because I know how much her "Mom and Dad" cared for her. They loved her deeply and are sick over her loss. Memories are what we have now and oh what memories they are!
This first photo (above) was taken when Taima won "Best of Opposite" at the Samoyed Club of Ontario's specialty show (not sure of the year).
This photo is a picture of her first and only litter. What a blast these puppies were. I was lucky to spend the day at the farm playing with Taima's pups. Taima was a gracious Mommy and let us all play and enjoy her little ones. All of these guys have homes and one pup, Paka, stayed with his Mom and joined the rather large family on the farm.
Taima has won other awards and was planning on hitting the show circut again this coming year. No doubt she would have taken it by storm! Taima will be missed. We can, however, see and enjoy Taima's spirit in the pups she left us with and in particular little Paka. We honour Taima by taking our love for her and showering it on Paka and spreading it around all the animals at the farm she loved.
This is paka. What a cutie! I was giving him a bath at my now closed dog grooming store. He was very paitent with me as I soaped him up and then took pictures of him. A tribute to his Mother! After his bath we played and I took him for a tour of the building. Everyone just loved him! How could you not???
There you have it. A sad story perhaps, but also one filled with great memories. Taima's passing is a huge loss to the show ring and to her family; they loved her not becasue she was a winner but because she was Taima.
If you would care to make a donation to the Unversity of Guelph's Pet Trust in the name of Taima it would be greatly apprecaited. Follow this link:
University of Guelph Pet Trust
Links of interest:
The Fonz
Samoyeed Association of Ontario
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Social Experimentation
I was just discussing the social experiment that Showtime imposed on a homeless person. They approached a homeless person and asked him if they could film him for a documentary. They put him through physical and physiological tests and then decided to use this man in the experiment. On the surface of this I have no huge issue with what they did. The man agreed and they did not set out to harm him. What they did was, without the man’s prior knowledge, gave him $100,000.00. The idea was to see how he would handle the money. Would it turn his life around was the big question.
Apparently it did not. After all was said and done the man is again homeless and in debt. He feels worse off then when it all began and told Oprah that he would rather have not had the money at all. In the discussion I was having with my friend Janet, I mentioned that they did offer him financial counseling and some kind of therapy. Janet's comment was that it seemed unrealistic to her to expect a man that has not had any social interactions for 20 years to take advantage of a Financial Advisor. It was a good point. I look forward to having an opportunity to watch the entire documentary. I think now we should consider the question, is it okay to use someone’s life as a social experiment.
Apparently it did not. After all was said and done the man is again homeless and in debt. He feels worse off then when it all began and told Oprah that he would rather have not had the money at all. In the discussion I was having with my friend Janet, I mentioned that they did offer him financial counseling and some kind of therapy. Janet's comment was that it seemed unrealistic to her to expect a man that has not had any social interactions for 20 years to take advantage of a Financial Advisor. It was a good point. I look forward to having an opportunity to watch the entire documentary. I think now we should consider the question, is it okay to use someone’s life as a social experiment.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)